"
I've been caught stealing;
once when I was 5...
I enjoy stealing.
It's just as simple as that.
Well, it's just a simple fact.
When I want something,
I don't want to pay for it.
I walk right through the door.
Walk right through the door.
Hey all right! If I get by, it's mine.
Mine all mine!
My girl, she's one too.
She'll go and get her a skirt.
Stick it under her shirt.
She grabbed a razor for me.
And she did it just like that.
When she wants something,
She don't want to pay for it.
"
Baby look we are victims of a society that squeezes the lower middle class. Screws up our businesses because of jackhammers and taxes and regulations and unnecessary paperwork. Basically forces us to do illegal shit. Now I'm having 4 kids and if that means I gotta turn out some Russian whores to feed my family and pursue the American Dream, that's how it's gotta be.
"Withdrawing in disgust is not the same as apathy"
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Posted byHardlickeron Mar 17, 2014, 7:29:32 PM
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"
You hear her calling everywhere you turn
You know you're headed for the pleasure burn
But the words get stuck on the tip of your tongue
She's the real thing but you knew it all along
She's just the girl, just the girl
That u want
She's just the girl, just the girl
That u want
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Posted byDeletedon Mar 17, 2014, 7:36:43 PM
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"
This is not my quote, I never said anything like this.
Be ready. You're not paranoid, you're PREPARED.
I quit this game every few months and so should you to continue playing it in the future.
The device is believed to have been dropped
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Posted byJohnGrammaticuson Mar 17, 2014, 7:52:59 PM
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"
I have a mansion forget the price
Ain't never been there they tell me it's nice
I live in hotels tear out the walls
I have accountants pay for it all
They say I'm crazy but I have a good time
I'm just looking for clues at the scene of the crime
Life's been good to me so far
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Posted byDeletedon Mar 17, 2014, 7:54:35 PM
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How did you know I'm Joe Walsh? Nobody knows that.
Be ready. You're not paranoid, you're PREPARED.
I quit this game every few months and so should you to continue playing it in the future.
The device is believed to have been dropped
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Posted byJohnGrammaticuson Mar 17, 2014, 7:56:26 PM
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"
"
That's a... very interesting act you got there, but what do you call it?
The Aristocrats!
You won't get no glory on that side of the hole.
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Posted byUpandatemon Mar 18, 2014, 3:39:47 AM
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"
I could see something You
can see anything you want boy If
I could be someone You
can be anyone celebrate, boy Well
if I could do something You
can do something If
I could do anything But
can you do something out of this world Take?
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Posted byDeletedon Mar 18, 2014, 7:36:12 AM
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"
I stole my sister's boyfriend. It was all whirlwind heat and flash. With-in a week we had killed my parents and hit the road.
"
And then the talent agent says, "That's awful. What do you call the act?" Like he wants to know, like the name's the important thing! I don't understand why he would say that. It doesn't matter what it's called! Because no one is gonna book this show! Where did these people find employment! How did they develop this act! What made them think this was entertaining! I mean it's surprising they haven't... that they're not all in jail! I mean... and waiting... waiting for the death penalty! You can put people to death for what goes on in the best versions of this joke! Because you're probably saying, if you have any sense of human decency, "Well, why didn't he stop them the minute he saw the father unzipping his pants!" And saying, "This is totally wrong! Call the cops! Something horrible's happening! This is a family who are raping their own children, and performing bestiality! Why, oh, why, is he allowing this to happen!" But that's a whole other story. But, anyway, he says, "What is it called?" because in a joke that's what happens. There's no legal system at all in play in a joke. And then the guy goes, "The Aristocrats." And I always throw in that. That seems to make the whole joke. "The "Aristocrats."
"
I've heard better singing from a mongoose with throat cancer!
"Withdrawing in disgust is not the same as apathy"
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Posted byHardlickeron Mar 18, 2014, 8:43:31 AM
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"
In animal land
When dark is in command
One thing you should know
Don't hear that knocking
Don't eat out of their hand
Those stumble die
You see
Those dumb cry
They see you, you and me
You and me
With the dead next door
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Posted byDeletedon Mar 21, 2014, 6:45:44 PM
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"
I don't feel safe in this world no more
I don't want to die in a nuclear war
I want to sail away to a distant shore
And make like an Apeman
I'm an Apeman, I'm an Ape Apeman
No, I'm an Apeman
Well, I'm a King Kong man, I'm a Voo-Doo man
No, I'm an Apeman
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Posted byDeletedon Mar 21, 2014, 6:47:30 PM
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