A good story

"You don't understand", Beardmaster told Legend, "Up to this point my beard believed it was unique. This is a very exciting moment for it, if what you say is true."

"Wait a sec. Your beard believed? How does a beard believe?"

"What do you mean the piece you stole never speaks to you? Not really that surprising I suppose, my beard has standards you know."

"No seriously, that thing is sentient?"

"So is the one on your face", Beardmaster smiled.

Legend crossed his eyes trying to eye his beard, "That is... So creepy"

"As I said", Beardmaster smiled, "Don't fuck with it. It knows more than you can imagine."

Legend frowned then looked at Beardmaster, "Can you get it to speak to me."

"Unlikely", laughed beardmaster, "When mine gets in a mood it goes weeks without a word. It is a peculiar creature."

'Thanks, dick', his beard said.

'You kno this to be true', Beardmaster told his beard snidely.

'Still', his beard pouted, 'you don't have to present me so harshly.'

'Get over it, dudes a villain anyway.'

'I wouldn't exactly put it that way', Beardmasters beard corrected, 'He is a firebucket, yes, but only because his life has been tainted so. My other half has lived his every emotion. In a way, I understand how he feels'

'He would slay me where I stand', reminded Beardmaster.

'So would every champion with something to prove. I would not let it happen, and that makes it null and void!'

'See!', Beardmaster raged in his mind, 'This is what I'm talking about! Just because you make me strong enough to endure doesn't make it ok for dudes to come at me! It's not all about you!'

'No, of course, I'm only the source of everything that makes you special'

'Fuck that!', Beardmaster retorted, 'Had you been attached on birth to a true villain you would be damned to do evil and you wouldn't know the fuckig difference."

'Coulda shoulda?'

'The hell do you even mean? Coulda murdered innocents? Shoulda even?'

'Now you're just putting words in my bristles'

Beardmaster punched his beard, further confusing the oblivious Legend, 'Am I? You're the one claiming you do all the work. How about I shave you off and see how far you get?'

'You wouldn't dare'

Good, but the sober(er) version has more coherent wording and more unique style, where curses work better due to juxtaposition in them overly fancy sentences with sophisticated vocabulary.

"

JohnGrammaticus wrote:

sober(er)

still laughing.

"

Onionspam wrote:

"

JohnGrammaticus wrote:

sober(er)

still laughing.

Minmaxing alcohol while writing is an important skill, first thing you learn when studying journalism. A few years back I managed to rush a 15 pages long article within an hour, got top grade, just because I have had a great roll on my alcohol/flow ratio. On the other hand overdoing it just a little bit is catastrophic and demolishes the flow completly. Ah them funny old days...

"

DaleWinters wrote:

It should be noted that at this point im gettjng kinda drunk. So... Sorry

Makes perfect sense to me, for some reason I'm always drunk when I read this... So...

Edit: Also, I know all too well the importance of one's alcoholism skill for great writing. I hated English class until college, where the drunkard within could express all of its glory. A few hours of sober research followed by a pint of gin.. It is truly the secret to exceptional writing!

Sometimes getting loaded or at least tipsy is the best response to A) straight up writers block or B) starting to take your story too seriously.

But what I just found out I may be able to get my hands on this weekend is a different beast entirely.

"

DaleWinters wrote:

But what I just found out I may be able to get my hands on this weekend is a different beast entirely.

My mother-in-law?

is her name Lucy?

"

DaleWinters wrote:

is her name Lucy?

Don't forget your shots.