A good story

Very verry good! The metaphores and insinuations are a joy to behold ¦)

Lmao I was a little dubious about the first piece but you had me at Bitch, what?

Frankley this story is much more likely to ever get finished if more people jump on the wagon

I'm liking this

edit: just finished reading that parts and sweet man!

Beardmaster peered down the gore soaked sewers and pondered every variable. There were six variables, each more ponderable than the last. As long as they were down in the sewers he could only pray that Fat Chance had traveled away from the city. He couldn't bare the thought that he and Legend had unleashed such terror upon those unsuspecting citizens.

"At least it looks like the path leads away from town", Legend had apparently been thinking the same thing.

"Aye, but for how long?", Beardmaster frowned as he scratched his crotch. Those new pants were really chaffing something fierce.

They made their way down the length of the sewers in the same direction Fat Chance had gone and eventually came to a hard right turn, after which they could finally see the reddish hue of the morning sun starting to shine through the large grate (or what was left of it) where the Leftbridge sewers poured their filthy contents out into the river that ran north down the hillsides towards the badlands. On the other side of the river they could see the grate that led in to the Rightbridge sewers. Beardmaster was relieved to see that it remained intact, at least that beast was not headed up into the middle of Rightbridge.

Beardmaster studied the damaged grate with his intellect and confirmed his darkest fears, "Fuck. This thing is like, super beast. Look at these tear marks, that was one solid blow. It busted through nine inches of solid steal like it was nothing."

Legend nodded, "We did a bad thing.."

"No doubt. Still, I think we should continue on our mission. If we have to fight that thing at some point, I have hopes that what we find there will make it less impossible."

They climbed out and scurried around the edge of the drain to solid ground on the left side of the river.

"Well this is the shits", Beardmaster commented, "Here we are pretty much where we started and those god damn fans prevented us from getting anywhere near the mounts we were looking for. I don't know about you, but I am not walking all the way to that temple."

Legend folded his arms and mocked, "Can't you just flap your beard real hard and fly us there?"

Beardmaster shook his head, "No can do. Trust me, I've tried. My beard will have none of it, and my face ain't too fond of the idea either. Hurts like a bitch."

"What if we cross the river and try our luck in Rightbridge?"

"We wouldn't even get close. It's daybreak and both towns are going to be locked down hard. Anything that moves outside the gates gets an arrow through the face. Which reminds me, we have to get the fuck out of here before the local blightmongers come out to feed. Hate to say it, but I think we should cut through the badlands, make our way for the coast, and take a ship from Halfport."

"Are you joking?", Legend spat, "Do you have any idea what kind of creatures lurk down there? They are called the badlands for a reason, that reason being that they are bad!"

"Not as bad as this place is going to get right away.."

Glad you liked it. I was trying to keep the first bit cannon so you can always just say "oh look there is a door" and then they were back to where they were supposed to be and make no mention of what happened. Also I didn't really read the whole post before I jumped in. Tried to keep it more akin to a forgotten realms book. Gotten a lot more hang of it by the second part but still keeping it sober. That is till the last half because I completed last night after I came back from the bars so I was pretty tipsy.

Pretty entertaining work BTW. Thought it could do with more love so I figure I would add my two cents and how it unfolds.

Hmm I seem to have made a lot of errors which I will correct in a bit and maybe add in another chapter.

PS: Also great job on the continuation because you ended exactly where I wanted to pick up from.

Move your ass son, Beardmasters beard suddenly piped up, I sense crazy danger

"We better go, my beard can sense them coming", Beardmaster advised.

Indeed, shortly after this they could hear a distant rustling in the bushes. This land was about to get ravenous. Beardmaster had once been commissioned to take out a nest of these creatures and knew that it was their numbers that made them so dangerous. The large insectoid creatures grew to about three feet long by about a foot wide, although the green leaf-wings on their back made them appear significantly larger when outstretched. Although they couldn't fly for long, the blightmongers could hover up to about six feet, just the right height to fuck a dudes day up hard with their razor sharp jowls.

"I really don't like the sound of that", Legend commented.

"No shit. Listen, we will have to hide under water and let the river take us downstream. Keep your head under and let your beard breath for you - it will act like a set of gills."

"Aw seriously? that river's filthy, and we just got out of the sewers!"

"You're free to take your chances with those things", Beardmaster said right before jumping deep into the river.

Don't worry bro, Legend was startled to hear is beard say, I got this

He could now hear the telltale hissing of the blightmongers and knew he didn't have much time left - if they caught sight of him they would follow him into the water. He took what he knew was a deep pointless breath, took a running start and followed Beardmaster into the grungy river.

Yah thats cool bro. I sort of like collaborations better because it takes some of the pressure off and stuff can go in different directions and all.

Oops I hope that didn't mean you already started the next part, cuz I didn't see your post till after I finished the part about jumping in the river.

Edit: also: further evidence of what they say about writing when tipsy. but you gotta mind the balance lol!

I tend to write most of my parts while at work, hence the smallish chapters usually. Honestly I don't think there is ANYTHING that makes the day go faster than getting sucked in to a story project. Granted that only applies if you have the lenience to do so, which I am super thankful I do.

Nope still good. I can still add content to this without any problems.

GG peeps, teamplay even in wrighting ^^

"

DaleWinters wrote:

I tend to write most of my parts while at work, hence the smallish chapters usually. Honestly I don't think there is ANYTHING that makes the day go faster than getting sucked in to a story project. Granted that only applies if you have the lenience to do so, which I am super thankful I do.

That bored at work? You sound like me, I just sit here waiting for you to write more through out the day. Keep it going!

Note: I would have had this up yesterday but I accidentally closed the browser and lost it all. So I re-did it again. Hopefully its as good as the first draft.


Say what you will about the grungy river, Beardmaster had to agree that it felt good and much cleaner than the sewers. Apparently Legend had the same appreciation for the water. The two decided to take this opportunity to vigorously scrub themselves clean. Oh... what would they have given for a bar of soap.

Legend was being extra careful with his beard ever since it spoke to him. It was definitely a special feeling and wondered how things would have been if he had never surrendered. Well that's not too hard to ponder since he would have been dead. Clearly, he could never harness the amount of power Beardmaster can... that is until now. Hmmm...

Legend made sure that above all else its his beard that gets the most attention when cleaning. Bro... A beard... The notion was so ridiculous yet here it was, an artifact from an ancient civilization that hints at being leagues beyond in advancement. A corrupted Beardmaster had amassed enough power in his beard to destroy such powerful beings? What was this beard capable of? Please... stop...

He was glad things turned out the way they did. Perhaps this is how it was meant to be. Even though their team up has been largely a disaster, Legend concluded that this quest was proving to be most educational. He might finally be able to reclaim his birthright wi- STOP FINGERING ME YOU ASSHOLE!!

Legend suddenly snapped out of his thoughts just enough to avoid smashing into a giant rock. The sudden realization of more rock bodies approaching, that and the fact he was molesting his beard all the while he was lost in thought, was enough to make him lose concentration and start gasping for air. The water was getting shallow, and he needed air. Fuck the blightmongers, he thought and swam up to the surface.

Beardmaster was up ahead and had already broken his cover. Legend wondered if he was sexually molesting his beard too, at least that would put them on an even footing. "We are going down, brace your self!" Beardmaster yelled.

A sharp drop and more dirty water surrounded them. Strangely the water around him got warm. "Sorry, I got scared.", Beardmaster apologized.

"What the fuck, what are you five?", Legend shouted back.

Hey, hey its a perfect set up. Tell him his mom was five when you did her. Beardmaster's beard suddenly thought back.

What? That would make me a pedophile, Beardmaster thought back.

Its just a joke, just say it. It's not all about you.

IT IS ALL ABOUT ME YOU DIRTY OLD FUCK!

And yet another sharp drop later the duo found themselves in a smaller water pool that was slowly joining a larger channel ahead. As they joined the channel, Beardmaster noted that the water was picking up speed.

"FUCK YOU BEARDMASTER! STOP PISSING YOURSELF!", Legend roared from the back.

"FUCK OFF! I can't help it!", he yelled back.

"Bet you couldn't hold it in either."

"You'll never know!", Legend spat back.

Oh I think he knows bro.

Shut the fuck up beard.

Breaking the surface had already exposed them to the local denizens of the deep. However, the little squabbles between our dynamic douche-bags made sure that at least one sizable threat would show up to investigate.

"We got company.", Legend pointed out as a big green bug like creature started hovering side to side of the water channel.

"Ignore it, its just one and its having trouble keeping up with the stream.", Beardmaster reassured him.

"That leads me to some more bad news. We seem to be heading for a water fall..."

"What? Why didn't you say something earlier?", Legend exclaimed.

"Cause I just confirmed a few minutes ago. As if it would have mattered if I said it then."

A sudden sharp screech cut short any more chatter between the two and instead made their gaze fixed to the source.

*********************