Favorite quotes from frequent off topic posters

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Moonyu wrote:

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VictorDoom wrote:

Mom taught me how to swim by rowing out to the middle of the lake and throwing me in. That's how I learned to swim!

She wasn't trying to teach you to swim!

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Hardlicker wrote:

On chritmas my tradition is to hire some prostitutes, throw nuts on the floor and make them pick them up with their mouth while i drink heavily, smoke and listen to really loud classical music. This tradition has been passed on in our family from generation to generation

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The first trumpet sounded, a loud moan of deep echoing harshness. It pierced all ears from opposition to frontline to flank. A malicious march began, spears vertical to the ocean blue sky above. Many blocks of men, lines of sixteen men across and sixteen men deep marched forward. Each leg moving at a medium pace as if it were locked with the man’s next to him. Shields at side no farther than a few inches from the battle brother to the left. Mists of red bathed their cheeks in the baking sun. It was unnatural for a vapor of any kind to float amidst the paths of the winds in this barren wasteland. No, this was not water brushing their crooked, brass, battle torn faces, but a fluid of the warrior’s refreshment. The second trumpet sounded, one which was lower pitched than the first, and a sudden halt had shook the masses of men. The taste of salt was raw in the creases of their lips as the heavy sweat beaded away from the tips of their knotted hair. Their eyes lay stinging from the constant, unrelenting stare across the spar rattled barrens to the opposing line of men who faced them. Eyes as sharp as knives, the stare was as the stinger of a scorpion. Every man who arrived on duty prepared for the worse, all men expecting the heat of hell in battle. Blood was to be fueling the flames which lay beneath the arid dusted surface of the desert.
Each man felt a drum beat in his chest. Each drum synchronized with the soldier aside from him. Chassis of cut steel, these men were no lone wolves, they were snares to an array of destructive percussions. Each man a champion in his heart, and a brother to the next man. Companions of conquest and instruments of war they were, wielding ten foot spears made of flexible and sturdy oak wood. Helmets of blistered and battered bronze gleamed through the desert mid-day. The sight of their plumed tops gave them the appearance of warlike demons ready for an utter chaotic bloodbath. Every helmet was seamed with a hawk of black dyed lion mane and long green and yellow feathers aligned from front to back. Armor that shimmered as gold, the sight of these men were glorious and honorable, they looked as the men of renown you would see as you stared at the constellations dormant in the heavens.

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Moonyu wrote:

"They think I’m crazy; but I know better. It is not I who am crazy; it is I who am MAD! Didn’t you hear ‘em?? Didn’t you see the crowds?!? Oh, my beloved ice cream bar, how I love to lick your creamy center! Aahoum..AAHoum…AAAAHoum!! And your oh-so-nutty chocolate covering! You’re not like the others; you like the same things I do: wax paper, boiled football leather, dog breath! We’re not hitchhiking any more; we’re ridin’!

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hostilesinbound wrote:

“I am a greaser. I am a JD and a hood. I blacken the name of our fair city. I beat up people. I rob gas stations. I am a menace to society. Man do I have fun!”

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Moonyu wrote:

Mariaaaaa Maria Maria Mariaaa

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Hardlicker wrote:

as much as you criticize hitler and his ways, he was right about one thing, [Removed by Admin]

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VictorDoom wrote:

oh look another thread i killed...

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hostilesinbound wrote:

The night's forever young, It's us that gets old

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VictorDoom wrote:

Don't mind her. She's still upset that someone dropped a house on her sister.

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Fire_Kid wrote:

What did you do with my hair? I distinctly remember leaving it right here, all over the place.

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Moonyu wrote:

Sing us a song you're the piano man