Favorite quotes from frequent off topic posters

"

Silocibe wrote:

Dear science, cheers for the iPods
White goods, yeah thank you for the cyborgs
Top work on the light bulb
That was quite cool
But where's my hoverboard?
I mean I know you've been busy
But no hoverboards just seems a bit piss weak
I got a brand new computer and a big screen
I guess Back to the Future was a dick tease
And I can't be the only one
Maybe everyone forgot but I am holding on
The hovercraft was a solid start
Shoulda stuck with it, hoverboard
Where the fuck is it?

"

VictorDoom wrote:

I pretty much try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face.

"

Pavshaus wrote:

Don't be a good neighbor to her. I'll send you a love letter straight from my heart, fucker. Do you know what a love letter is? It's a bullet from a fuckin' gun, fucker. If you receive a love letter from me, you are fucked forever. Do you understand, fuck? I'll send ya straight to Hell, fucker!

"

Moonyu wrote:

"

Nithryok wrote:

I know I have been sharing in the fruits of labor of others, I'm too cool to join in helping.

ERMAGHERD TEE HEE LETS BE FRAINDSZ

"

VictorDoom wrote:

"

Moonyu wrote:

"

Nithryok wrote:

I know I have been sharing in the fruits of labor of others, I'm too cool to join in helping.

ERMAGHERD TEE HEE LETS BE FRAINDSZ

oh lordey looks like someone is begging to to leave apathy guild, if only i could care..

"

Nithryok wrote:

You see, I take care of it. Oh, or else I'm going to explode. I just...
Excuse me while I... While I... While I... Oh yeah... Oh yeah... Oh yeah, this is the big
one. I'm gonna explode... Oh, take cover Arizona here I come.

"

VictorDoom wrote:

Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop-heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow.

"

Moonyu wrote:

As your attorney I advise you to drive at top speed and it'll be a Goddamn miracle if we get there before you turn into some kind of wild animal. Are you ready for that? Checking into a Las Vegas hotel under a phony name with the intent to commit capital fraud on a head full of acid? I sure hope so...

"

Hardlicker wrote:

I'm Hardlicker and I approve of this message

"

Nithryok wrote:

Ryan, remember when I told you a few weeks ago that you are a total pussy? Well I just wanted to apologize for not emphasizing that enough.

"

Moonyu wrote:

He didn't have enough money to go to Wisconsin in the accepted fashion,
true, but why not mail himself? It was absurdly simple. He would ship himself
parcel post, special delivery. The next day Waldo went to the supermarket to
purchase the necessary equipment. He bought masking tape, a staple gun and a
medium sized cardboard box just right for a person of his build. He judged that
with a minimum of jostling he could ride quite comfortably. A few airholes,
some water, perhaps some midnight snacks, and it would probably be as good as
going tourist.

"

Silocibe wrote:

There are no happy endings in history, only crisis points that pass.

"

Moonyu wrote:

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

"

solwitch wrote:

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.

"

Hardlicker wrote:

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

"

Väkirauta wrote:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

"

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong

"

Jim_Fear wrote:

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

"

Charan wrote:

I buy big packs and I cannot lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when Chris logs in and takes an itty bitty view
At the titles which I've accrued
He gets sprung