A good story

The suspence is........(dies).....^^

At least you know its going to be large/good

this guy might as well be writing a thesis every time lol

It felt like he had been running a long time. Time seemed to have slowed down as Legend dashed for the falling figure. His beard was tingling with warm fussy feeling and for a minute it looked like white as snow, illuminating the path ahead. There was a brief flash and suddenly Legend held the falling figure in his arms.

Beardmaster was sure of it, it had to be Thingymagic parading as his lost companion. But whats to be made of Gordini? Is he real or just an illusion the bastard had created based off his past? Beardmaster braced himself for the hard impact on the ground from the fall but it never came. Instead it felt like a pair of hands had just saved him from making love to the ground once again.

"Beardmaster? Thank G..", Legend's rejoicing was cut short with a sudden fist to his nose.

"Owww, what the fuck??", Legend staggered back as he dropped Beardmaster solidly to the ground, clutching his nose.

"Oh now we are going for the good cop routine? I am on to you asshole..." Beardmaster exclaimed raising his weapons.

"Woah, dude! It's me Legend.", Legend stammered as he suddenly realized what was going on.

"Oh you will be a legend alright..." Beardmaster growled as he took a swipe.

With lightning reflexes Legend's beard formed a fist and smashed into Beardmaster's eye. The assault didn't stop there, the beard then turned into a narrow furry tentacle and started tickling the dazed Beardmaster in the nose which made him rear back for a tremendous sneeze. To which the beard suddenly clipped Beardmaster's nose shut and watch the sneeze backfire into his head and make him fall down as if he had been decked really hard.

"I am not Thinymagic, its what it wants us to think and do. Destroy each other with our own paranoia and guilt.", Legend said checking his nose to see if its broken.

"How do I know its really you?", Beardmaster groaned as he held his aching head.

"You don't but that's point. It is banking on us to follow our natural instincts and kill ourselves." Legend explained.

"...Or it could be banking on me falling for your words and walk right into a stab.", Beardmaster said as he picked himself up.

"Look, this thing is dead set on tormenting us to death and it wants us to kill each other", Legend continued.

"It wants us to give in to our doubts and suspicions because getting us to willingly slay each other would be a great torment."

"I don't know..", Beardmaster said still holding his guard.

"If I wanted to kill you out right I wont be trying to explain things to you. I am telling you if we react instead of the way we are meant to, it will be forced to show its ugly head", he explained frivolously.

"Okay, fine... but I am watching you.", Beardmaster grudgingly acquiesced after mulling things over for a few minutes.

"Who is that guy?", Legend said pointing at a robbed figure that was watching it all in silence.

"Gordini, Akbar Gordini. He is or was one smart cookie and a great questing partner.", Beardmaster turned to look around at the silent figure, solemnly.

"He was very knowledgeable about magic and otherworldly matters but the last time I saw him, I left him in a shock much like this.", Beardmaster pointed at the still silent robed figure.

"Please Beardmaster, spare me the history lesson... but that's THE Gordini?", Legend asked shocked.

"The one and only. Why?", Beardmaster asked.

"I don't know... the depictions always pictured him as older frail man with arcane power jutting out of his eyes. This guys seems nothing alike.", Legend replied somewhat disappointed.

The silent robbed figure across the field definitely cut a mysterious look but not in the same manner as the tales had painted him. This one was slightly heavy set with dark skin and a round face complimented with a chinstrap goatee. The beady looking eyes and the pudgy face belied arcane knowledge for a glorified bartender.

"Are you kidding me? You know how facts get distroted as they travel distances. Believe you me though. what you have heard about this man is true."

"Why is isn't he moving? clearly we can all see him.", Legend asked.

"I don't know..." Beardmaster said honestly clueless as he turned to face the figure.

"Hey Gordi, you in there? Wake up!", Beardmaster said as he snapped his fingers, rapped at the side of his head as if knocking on a door, a few times.

"Nothing."

A closer inspection revealed that, this representation of Gordini had gone inert or was transfixed with a look of disbelief in its eyes. If he had known the man personally, the heavy expression etched into his face would have held greater sorrow. Obviously they didn't part well and the Thingymagic was taking advantage of it.

"What happened?", Legend asked quietly as he started inspecting the area around the still figure.

"We both learned something about myself. You never truly see the depth of a man until you have put him in a middle of a botched quest with failure all around you... He saw my depth and what I would do to reclaim my honor..." Beardmaster said with a heavy voice.

"I failed at even reclaiming that, even though I had taken care of the source of it all. Once shit gets in your beard you did best go see a barber.".

Legend couldn't help but see a different side to Beardmaster just then. its true enough that he hid most of his emotions under a mask of cynicism but he never gave thought to the depth of his dark secrets that he tried to hide. Perhaps the life of a legend is not all daring exploration and adventure. This particular quest they were undertaking was a clear example of that.

Legend was about to inquire further about his partners past and hoped to provide some consolation in the process but cut short when he saw another figure standing far behind the duo.

"Uncle Hairy?! There you are!" A sudden young voice piqued in behind the inspecting duo.

Beardmaster had heard that voice before. He expected Thingymagic to pull out his darkest memories and serve it on a silver platter. Oh boy did it pick the right target! He was a closet full of deep dirty secrets he had planned to take to his grave. Funny thing is that Beardmaster actually foresaw something like this happening and this certainly wasn't unexpected. But what shocked him most was his shock at being shocked at seeing the sudden figure at the far end of the field. He knew this was coming... That bastard even said his name! So why the surprise?...

Turning around, the duo saw a small boy with a cute, innocent face smiling at the two. He couldn't have been more than seven years old. Legend did not remember running into any terrible memories of the past that involved an innocent kid. This had to be one of Beardmaster's ghosts. Legend was sure he was not going to like where this was going to go.

"RUSCOE??!!", Beardmaster roared with disbelief, both at the boy and at himself for his sudden outburst.

That name was familiar. The abomination was taunting Beardmaster with that name, Legend remembered. He did erupt ever so violently at the mention of it. Was that one of his illegitimate bastards? Maybe someone he longed to see..

"Legend, we need to kill it." Beardmaster exclaimed as he started charging towards the youth.

"It?...what??", Legend hesitated.

"Come on, uncle. Ma an Da are looking for you too!", the boy spoke cheerily as he turned around and started sprinting away.

"GET BACK HERE YOU...YOU..." Beardmaster yelled as he ran after the boy.

"Beardmaster, wait..." Legend yelped as he lagged behind.

*************************************************************

The child could run, Beardmaster admitted barely able to keep up. Apparently Legend couldn't keep up either. Maybe Legend was right and he was running headlong into another trap. Beardmaster suddenly stopped gasping at the sudden change in the landscape.

The battlements and bloody field was gone to be replaced by grassy knoll. There, atop a hill was a quaint house with smoke coming out of the chimney. Beardmaster could smell the roasting game in the kitchen as he approached. This place was all too familiar. It had to be the small village of Whatchamitecallit. A small obscure town that was doomed to obscurity. It was a curse all villagers claimed, the name was also given based on its obscurity. Apparently the actual name of the town was so easy to forget that even the history books had no record. It was always regarded as watchamitecallit and it stuck. This would also explain why the King never bothered sending his guards here to reinforce new state laws. The name even spells like an after thought... as in "I don't fucking care".

Arriving at the house, Beardmaster couldn't help but take a look around. The village was small with a narrow dirt road running straight through. On both sides of the road were houses and taverns with kids from the neighborhood playing on the road itself all the while their mothers would yell at them to get off the road. It was largely a peaceful place, it seems it has been a while since he and his companion actually found sanctuary. Who knows what is happening to their corporeal bodies in that cave of illusion. It is becoming ever more apparent that he and Legend needed to find a way to break this magical hold.

The front door suddenly opened and a very familiar figure burst past Beardmaster without even acknowledging his presence. The figure was covered head to foot in mud, as if he had just walked into a swamp.

Swamp?! Beardmaster remembered having a similar experience during his misadventure in Watchamitecallit. There was no doubt about it, this rude schmuck was him, his younger self when his hair was cropped short and fewer scars from other adventures. This is getting very cliched. Why doesn't the coward just kill him? What is the need for all this theatrics? This all seems to be rather personal. Ruscoe suddenly burst through the door and tackled the approaching figure, quickly followed by slightly older girl.

"AAAHH! I got you!", The boy said excitedly.

"Stop it Rus, you are getting him dirty!!", The girl said sternly.

"Aaah my little Milla, I have missed you so. What's a little dirt between friends?", the stranger responded as he suddenly grabbed the girl and gave her a big muddy hug.

"MOOOMMEEEE!!" She squealed in disgust after the stranger had made sure she was covered from head to toe.

"Oh for crying out loud!!", said a plain looking woman appearing out the door.

"My new dress...", Milla said in a sad tone. Looking at her mother.

"Jhon, you just gave me a weeks worth of laundry to do." She said flatly with a hint of irritation.

"Oh come now... Amilla. You know you love to clean, you always sound irritated if you don't have a pile stacked sky high.", Beardmaster said with a wry smile.

"Don't step in the house, I just cleaned it! Go through the back into the bathes.", She instructed.

"Thank you Amilla, as always you are the most gracious host..", Beardmaster said wryly as he set a very muddied Milla down on the ground.

"Ah, its the swamp thing!", another voice suddenly chimed in from behind the awestruck older Beardmaster.

"So what brings you back to civilization, you shit covered denizen of mother natures deep end?", He said with a stupid smile.

"Didja finally realize that you have been living in shit?"

"Oh and clearly you are up to the latest trend of civilization eh?", Jhon retorted.

"Is straddling around naked with a rotten sack and cord just barely covering your loins the new fad then? I bet you turned a lot of eyes today, didntcha sweetheart? here let me add to your glory.", John said sarcastically as he slapped the almost naked man across the face leaving a very grimy palm print.

"Oww...Dammit! Boundaries man! Boundaries... God!", The man grimaced with irritation as he examined his cheek.

"I waited for TWO hours for you to get me out of that swamp!", Jhon yelled.

"Oh come on John, I have seen how you handled that Chuckie Cheese bastard and saved my boy. Clearly you have skill and I knew you would make it out of that mess... er... how did you get out of that?", he asked.

"A branch just fell off...someone had my back.", Beardmaster feigned a pious pose.

Flimsy excuse but the reality was a lot more strange; a beard with godly powers... Beardmaster didn't want to reveal his identity of his budding fame. The constant onslaught of fans from village to village was too much. Luckily no one knew his face at the time and word of mouth always tends to distort over distances. Though some places seem to have enough brains to connect the dots. A simple travelers robe and a fake name was enough to get by. So it was Jhon for the time being was it?

"Oh that solves everything! Right? God saved my ass while you run off to do who knows what..", Jhon continued yelling.

"I was ROBBED" He finally blurted with irritation.

"What??", Amilla exclaimed as she stopped undressing Ruscoe's dirty shirt halfway over his head. Who was rather enjoying the duel between the two lovable assholes until now.

"No, no, no baby relax, its cool! They didn't get anything besides the clothes off my back and my bag. I forgot to take the savings with me today so we still have all the money.", The almost naked man reassured as he fidgeted with the cord holding up the makeshift underwear.

"I knew you did and I put it back into your bag just to make sure...", she said hurriedly.

"What?? Son of a bi-", he was cut short with another slap from Jhon across the other cheek.

"Aaah what the f...", the almost naked man yelled. fidgeting with the cord even tighter. It was clear that the rotten cord was no longer pulling its weight and his constant fidgeting is not helping.

"Shhh... not in front of the kids", John calmly pointed at the muddy Milla and Ruscoe still with his shirt over his head.

"Too late", Ruscoe yelped as he started chanting as he tried to run aroud in a circle and failing at it miserably.

"Son of bitch! Son of a bitch! Son of a b.."

"Hush, or I will make you eat soap.", Amilla said to her son in stern whispering tones.

"What the hell is your problem?", He exclaimed examining yet another soiled cheek.

"YOU Ash! You are my problem. I ask you for help and you get robbed in broad day light? What are you twelve?", Jhon exploded.

"Heh, you said broad.", Ash said easily amused.

"Shut up."

"Relax, I know who took it. I just need your help to get it back.", Ash said calmly waiving off Beardmasters glare.

"Lucky me..", Jhon said sarcastically.

"Okay, lets go clean up and then figure out how to get it back.", he sighed.

"Yeah I could really use your help on this one bud."

"You need help with your head. It doesn't belong up your ass all the time you know?" Beardmaster said as they started walking towards the back entrance to the house.

Clearly the cord was losing strength. Ash was now walking with exasperatingly slow limping steps to keep from giving the harness more tension.

"How is your crotch bag doing?", Beardmaster asked.

"Not too bad. I think I can make it to the ba-"

The cord snaps and the whole family is treated to front seat viewing. There were shocked screams from both female parties followed by a loudly sobbing Milla who was being reassured by her mother.

"SON OF A BITCH!!", Ruscoe exclaimed in the background at the sight after finally being able to take the shirt off of his head.

******************************************************************

He was exhausted from all this running. Corporeal or not, his body needed rest and so did his mind. Too many things have happened at the start of this day and never any time to rest. He bet they were hanging upside down in some deragned cannibal's cave about to be cooked. He needed to wake up but there was definitely magical spell hold on this dream like state.

Legend looked around as he walked in the direction Beardmaster had ran off to. There was no sign of either of them, who knows how long he had been walking, but the field just never ends. Clearly this Ruscoe was no fond memory, pity with such a cute innocent face. Apparently Thingymagic is concentrating on Beardmaster and so far no dreaded memories have yet haunted him so far. Nothing seemed to make much sense, he could understand if the rotten eye ingested by Beardmaster was the cause of this but he didn't take any part in it. So how is he trapped in here with him? Also why is Beardmaster's beard inert all of a sudden? There has to be a greater cause to this.

Easy bro. You did still have the same piece of the eye stale or no. There might be some dual reaction or something. It was just coincidence you passed out laughing so hard and choking yourself

"Heh, it was a sight. I am anxious to see what Beardmaster looks like in the real world.", Legend mused smilingly. One more reason to try harder to break the spell.

It IS you... I-I don't believe it!, A voice suddenly boomed inside Legend's head, bringing him to his knees.

Is that too loud? Good. I have been looking for a long time now Legend. I can't believe I would be running into you here

Oh no, not that voice. Not The Warlock. This is bad, very bad. Legend had to focus hard to keep himself from panicking. Please let this be a bad dream...

"So you have found me The Warlock.", Legend said calmly as he turned around. There was no real guarantee that The Warlock would be there but he did like theatricality.

"You have something of mine and I want it back.", said a figure suddenly appearing from no where to face Legend.

Yup, he saw this coming. He had taken something that belonged to this psycho long time ago. When he was consumed with rage and reckless enough to seize knowledge of the arcane any way possible. Psycho was a kind way of describing this freak! He calls him self The Warlock and is heavily hooked on illicit drugs. He is also a collector of rare items and relics; not that he knows what to do with them but he likes to show them off at his parties. Years of abuse has taken their toll on that Swiss cheese he calls a mind. His body has suffered much as well, he was wirey thin and pale as ivory. He probably started using some heavier stuff that lets him drift into the subconscious stream. He could be abusing magical ingredients....

"So where is the book?", He demanded.

"What book?"

"THE book! The one you stole from me!"

"Well... you know its been such a long time and there have been so many books I have stolen. I need to know the name.", Legend said sheepishly.

"Why?"

"So I can remember what I did with that particular book. I could have sold it, or lost it along the way or could have used it as toilet paper or even fuel for fire..", Legend rambled on, hoping to stall The Warlock till he can come up with an actual idea.

"Enough! Shut up and let me think.", He rudely interjected as he mulled over the name.

It figures. Of-course he didn't wipe his ass with the book, it was the key to understanding many of the relic from the old planets. Devices that hold great power just lie inert on the ground only to be collected with by greedy, ignorant pigs like this one. He had it stashed away somewhere safe, but considering the nature of their quest Legend concluded that he may have to recover that book as soon as he is able. It wasn't even really the book he came seeking. His pride and ego most definitely but there was a darker secret to this madman which legend had haplessly stumbled into that night, so many years ago.

"It was called Under the Bridge with Dick and Harry.. Plan at ease by Edison", The Warlock said with a hint of doubt in his voice.

"What? No it wasn't!", Legend retorted.

"Yes it was! I remember it clearly now..", He spat back trying to sound confident.

"It was the Unabridged Dictionary: Planetes Edition, you dumb fuck!", Legend said incredulously.

"So you didn't wipe your ass with it!", The Warlock exclaimed.

"Dammit! Who are you trying to fool here The?", Legend asked rhetorically.

"Its The Warlock, not The, not Warlock. THE Warlock.", He corrected.

"You are not really here for the book are you?", Legend asked.

"Who are you fooling? You couldn't even get the name right. You and I know what dark secrets you really want to have my throat sliced for.", Legend said with a daring look.

The book lay on a pedestal along with other paintings and strange artifacts that he had never seen. still what interested him the most was the contents within those pages, a description of various events and situations from the old planet which might help making sense of few things. For the large part the old planet spoke the same tongue but with a lot of lingo and addon's that were hard to decipher without a guide. This book would be perfect.

Sneaking into the mansion was easy. There was another one of his silly parties where he showed of each of the items with a practiced summary for each. The summary was more of how he had acquired it rather than what or why this object was here. Legend had blended in with the crowd easily enough but the trick was to escape later on when the guests had left and the property would be locked down. It all came down to a matter of timing, taking the book was no pproblem but navigating the vast labyrinth of a mansion while evading the guards was a challenge indeed.

"It doesn't matter which reasons I am here for. What matters is I will kill two birds with one stone. My pride will be avenged and your secret will die with you.", He aid with a menacing look.

If only Legend had chose a different room to hide in to evade the guard at the exit corridor. Soon another guard was on patrol and he had to go further away from the exit to the main hall. Ducking into the basement cellar was not what he had expected. Instead of barrels of expensive wine and cheese, it was a secret bedroom which was currently occupied.

What was in the room scarred Legend's eyes. There was The Warlock in diapers facing his rear to an ape that had a giant banana in its hand. And here he had bungled into a larger secret that he didn't want. Stealth was now out of the question, a short dive from the widow to the sswampy moat and exit to the nearest town wasn't enough. He had to stay low in the forests for days before the men gave up and The Warlock cursed the ground beneath him, swearing its not over. I guess at the very least, he kept his word.

"You hardly have much control over this place. All you do is drift. Face it, you are out of your element here." Legend bluffed.

"A few years ago you may have been right. But after we crossed paths I have made some powerful allies that have taught me a few tricks..."

"And more powerful psychedelics with magical properties right?", Legend completed for him.

With an evil grin, The Warlock suddenly split into ten men. They looked like they belong to the house of The Warlock. Sporting his house emblem, a serpent forming an incomplete figure eight on a red background on face clothes. They all held a distinct curved swords, some only held one with a shield or swords in both arms. Legend knew that this was going to be a quick fight that wont end in his favor.


*********************************Your mom is In Progress********************************

The world end has been averted and i have reserected from death as a result of such monumental scribing ¦) The "holds nose to backfir sneeze" made me spit my tea all over my desk at work xDDDDDDD GG!! ^^

Lol I read your response before his part and assumed he actually added a world-ending scenario into his part :p

Lol. The world ending part will be left to you dude so no worries. I am still working on it, had a huge draft ready but something went wrong and the page closed. lost all that work so I am adding in piece by piece.

lol no worries man happened to me too

Just to note the obvious I am updating the existing post as I can. I wont start a new post till the next chapter so plz reread the last post as I am adding more things in between as it comes along.

Thanks Fart,(and Dale as i feel it is apt) my days working in this shithole are so much nice now :)

HAH he is thanking farts!!!