Shut-in needs advice

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Crackmonster wrote:

Your mom got you a date? So your mom and her mom talked and agreed it was a good idea?

Perfect.

Ease up the mood by pointing out how silly it is and have a laugh. Now you popped the elephant in the room.

Its too late for that.

Its happened?

Too bad.

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TheWretch wrote:

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MinasMorgul wrote:

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Laurium wrote:

you wouldn't give a shit on a first date.

But I do. As you can guess, getting a date is way out of the ordinary for an otaku like me, so I'm prone to overdo it due to my longing for affection. But I don't understand what's wrong with omitting the formal parts and get right to the real deal. That's my fault. I know that.

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Laurium wrote:

Next time don't try to meet, get to know, fall in love, fuck, etc. all in the first date.

Ok, So in another decade or whenever. Nope, guess I log out before.

It was good advice. You come off as cringe-y and really desperate. I know thats hard to hear but youre better off knowing it and working on it than blindly hoping for "sexy time". For the love of god stop calling sex that.

Take your time man, no one is trying to fuck on the first date unless its just a hookup. If youre looking for a partner chill out and just let things happen. Dont try to force it.

You're right and I knew all of that already. Yet I couldn't do better. That's worth an achievement for entertaining the poe off-topic forum. Yay.

Na dont see it as a defeat. Live n learn then move on to the next one. Plenty of girls out there, if youre a shut in i know it can seem like you missed your one chance but that's just not how it is. If you lack experience dont try to snipe em man, just go for a shotgun effect.

Someone already mentioned you should make an effort to go to a local bar, its much easier to walk out with someone than you think. IMHO the way your date was setup by your mom, it was doomed to fail before it even started. Chalk it up as experience and move on to the next one.

E: Biggest piece of advice i can think is stop caring. Dont be a dick about it, but almost. People want what they cant have. If you make yourself look too easily available, even someone interested might be turned off by that. Just be standoff-ish and make her chase you a BIT.

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MinasMorgul wrote:

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Laurium wrote:

you wouldn't give a shit on a first date.

But I do. As you can guess, getting a date is way out of the ordinary for an otaku like me, so I'm prone to overdo it due to my longing for affection. But I don't understand what's wrong with omitting the formal parts and get right to the real deal. That's my fault. I know that.

"

Laurium wrote:

Next time don't try to meet, get to know, fall in love, fuck, etc. all in the first date.

Ok, so in another decade or whenever. Nope, guess I log out before.

Hey man, don't get me wrong. I totally understand that you feel this way, that you do care because it's not an everyday thing for you to get a date.

But, what's critical is that you don't project to her that you do care, because women--even shut in women--sniff this desperation shit out of guys like a 6th, 7th, 8th, and 9th sense.

That's one reason you keep the first date short.

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Laurium wrote:

But, what's critical is that you don't project to her that you do care, because women--even shut in women--sniff this desperation shit out of guys like a 6th, 7th, 8th, and 9th sense.

That's one reason you keep the first date short.

Very counterintuitive. I was under the delusion that showing your affection would be something favourable. It hurts to realize how wrong this seems to be. And a world where things work like mentioned can go kiss my dear ass.
It's not like I flashed my dick before her, asking for it.

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TheWretch wrote:

E: Biggest piece of advice i can think is stop caring. Dont be a dick about it, but almost. People want what they cant have. If you make yourself look too easily available, even someone interested might be turned off by that. Just be standoff-ish and make her chase you a BIT.

I don't like this mind-games. I want straight statements. But it seems some things in life don't work like that.
I expected too much for a first encounter. But I'm not willing to accept the reasons. That's why phantasy-worlds are so much better.

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MinasMorgul wrote:

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TheWretch wrote:

E: Biggest piece of advice i can think is stop caring. Dont be a dick about it, but almost. People want what they cant have. If you make yourself look too easily available, even someone interested might be turned off by that. Just be standoff-ish and make her chase you a BIT.

I don't like this mind-games. I want straight statements. But it seems some things in life don't work like that.
I expected too much for a first encounter. But I'm not willing to accept the reasons. That's why phantasy-worlds are so much better.

Keep thinking that way and you can just keep humping your waifu pillows.

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TheWretch wrote:

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MinasMorgul wrote:

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TheWretch wrote:

E: Biggest piece of advice i can think is stop caring. Dont be a dick about it, but almost. People want what they cant have. If you make yourself look too easily available, even someone interested might be turned off by that. Just be standoff-ish and make her chase you a BIT.

I don't like this mind-games. I want straight statements. But it seems some things in life don't work like that.
I expected too much for a first encounter. But I'm not willing to accept the reasons. That's why phantasy-worlds are so much better.

Keep thinking that way and you can just keep humping your waifu pillows.

I'm (again) starting to think that this is better than dealing with humans who make things that could be so easy so complicated.

Here, ill try to put in terms you'll understand. Its not easy but there are proven strategies. When you play a new dark souls boss, do you run forward swinging? How did that work out for you?

Once you took the time to appreciate behavioral patterns and you taught yourself to do that dance,
you eventually got through the encounter without failing miserably? You progressed further?

Get it?

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MinasMorgul wrote:

I'm (again) starting to think that this is better than dealing with humans who make things that could be so easy so complicated.

You can inverse that notion and say

"why are you making it so complex by rushing five dates in one". Your basically speeding up a natural process because you desire affection.

That isn't really "taking it easy" either, right? :)

Peace,

-Boem-