Shut-in needs advice

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鬼殺し wrote:

hm. I suppose if you default to love=sexual attraction, then yes, you'd probably have no trouble going from 'be someone you'd be okay your sister/brother being with' to 'LOL INCEST LOL SICK OMG LOL'...Of course, were you to do that, you'd probably be saying more about yourself than anyone else.

I'll elaborate. We hold very high standards for our siblings' partners, even if we hate them. Even if we constantly fight with them. For one very single reason. That person may one day be family. So they better not be fucking losers. Or apt to hurt those we love, aka our original family.

If you're a father, you'll know this even more than I, because of course you only want the best for your kids. Sadly, I am at most an uncle and a brother. But I love my sister deeply and have seen her be with some epic losers over the years. Her husband isn't perfect but ultimately I feel she's in good hands. It's obviously her choice but you'd want your siblings' partners to be decent people.

That's what I meant. If you want to wax asinine and take that as a sexual joke, be my guest.

I was under the impression we had some adults in here.

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鬼殺し wrote:

It's funny that I mention and use my fiancee as an example of the weeb-that-worked because she read the OP over my shoulder, and was like 'why the fuck are you responding to this? It's obviously bullshit!'

She really does fucking hate this forum, heh.

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FCK42 wrote:

Alright, seriously now...
Charan...
Solwitch...
would it be possible to either
1. Stop that little fight you two seem to enjoy oh so much or
2. At least take it to some kind of "Official charan and solwitch roasting ground" type of thread? At this point I don't really see either of you contributing to the main topic.
Yes, neither do I, but I'm a hypocritical little f*cktard who likes comments to be at least somewhat connected to the main topic of the thread.

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solwitch wrote:

Of all the examples...

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soneka101 wrote:

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solwitch wrote:

Of all the examples...

Can you give some that are equivalent? I couldn't think of any myself.

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鬼殺し wrote:

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FCK42 wrote:

I'm a hypocritical little f*cktard who likes comments to be at least somewhat connected to the main topic of the thread.

Hey, my last few posts were totally on topic. When I want to shut someone out, I'm *very* good at it.

I intend to continue on the course chosen, mostly using my experiences on the matter to add what I can. If that's okay by you? :)

She really did say that btw. Given that girls into alt japanese fashion (support didn't like the L word but we're allowed to use it...but eh, whatevs) often use online fora like 4chan and tumblr, my beloved has seen *far more weeb bullshit* than I likely ever will. Those savage places make PoE Off-topic look like a happy little special playground.

re my sister: like me, she's half. But she got all the looks, no doubt. I fucking hated it when friends would even imply hitting on her. It's like, dude. She's family. You're my friends. Don't. Fucking. Do. That. Thankfully it was only a few, and I guess it became more of an old running injoke once said friends got real partners of their own.

But eh, enough of that. That's ancient history now.

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鬼殺し wrote:

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soneka101 wrote:

Can you give some that are equivalent? I couldn't think of any myself.

That was the problem. If you say, 'be someone you'd be like to be with', well, I addressed the big issue with that regarding tolerance. That and the easy joke then is 'lol masturbation'...then again, there's always an easy joke if people are willing to be puerile about anything, I suppose.

Still, I'd never be with another writer. Ever. My girl knows that when I'm in that mode, even she takes second place to the work. And that's a shitty thing to do to a partner! But when she's in a creative burst, I know enough to leave her alone too. Our jobs then is to make sure we're taking care of ourselves. There's a funny anecdote about the famously obsessive but sporadic writer James Joyce and his wife -- which I think is probably bullshit, but most good anecdotes are -- and how no matter what, she always made sure he ate his eggs for breakfast.

I believe Stephen King cited it in his book 'On Writing' when discussing the importance of not letting the art/craft take over. To always make sure you eat your eggs for breakfast, figuratively speaking.

Anyway, I think it's safe to say most of us know ourselves well enough to never actually want to meet and spend time with someone just like us. No matter what, there must be some barrier between self and other, even if the other is the object of the most intimate relationship you'll never know.

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solwitch wrote:

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soneka101 wrote:

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solwitch wrote:

Of all the examples...

Can you give some that are equivalent? I couldn't think of any myself.

Yourself... How you treat yourself clear indication of what relationship you/someone may offer. Can't love another human being if you don't love yourself in the first place.

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MinasMorgul wrote:

I'm 27 and I haven't socialized whatsoever for 8 years now. Always dwelling in my den (when not at work), avoiding sunlight and reality. So my social skills are kinda rusted away. No clue what people do together in their free time. Now I'll meet a girl. I don't know anything about her except that she's a nice girl and that she's also alone most of the time. She's just as childish as me, even though she's a bit older. She's helping out at my moms workplace, so she got asked whether she wants to meet me. Yup, she wants. Now the panic kicks in.

I think I'll be straightforward. First thing would be talking about each others hobbies, I guess. Mine are Japanese (the real thing, not the weeb-thing), visual novels, wandering, games, anime, 19th century philosophers and sexy time. If she's into that, then good, if not, I won't need her anyway. I wonder if she'll be impressed by my 14 dakimakura, 23 anime girl posters and 35 figurines decorating my room...

If she wants to enter my bedroom, she has to defeat the first boss in dark souls 3. lol. *cries in Japanese*

(I'm posting here because I have no one else to talk to)