Leave your best joke...to pass the time ; []
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Superman was terribly bored with fighting crime, so one Friday night he decided to go out on the town to have some fun for a change.
He dropped by Batman's house. "Hey Batman," he said. "Wanna' go out tonight?" "No, I can't," replied Batman. "The Batmobile is broken and I gotta' stay home and fix it, or else I won't be able to fight crime." "You loser," said Superman, and he flew away in disgust. He then decided to stop by Spiderman's house. "Hey, Spidey, how about hitting the town tonight, you and me," he said. "I'd love to, but I can't," replied Spiderman. "My web-slinger is jammed and I gotta fix it in order to fight crime." Superman, all disgusted, quipped: "You loser. Go ahead--stay home on a Friday night and fix your damned web-slinger." He again flew away. While flying around the city looking for something to do, his super vision spotted Wonder Woman lying on her back, stark naked and spread-eagle! Superman thought, "Hey, I'm Superman, so I can fly down there at the speed of light, have a quickie and she'll never know the difference!" Wonder Woman said, "What the hell was that?" The Invisible Man said, "I don't know, but it hurt like hell!" They made me do it
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ha!
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Clean:
A duck walks into a bar, goes up to the Bartender and asks 'Hey! Got any Grapes?' The bartender says 'No, this is a bar, we ain't got no grapes!' and the duck walks out. The nest day, the duck walks back in and asks the bartender 'Hey, you got any grapes?' The bartender yells at him 'NO! We Ain't got no Grapes!' and the duck walks out. Next day, the same thing happens, the duck walks in asks 'Hey, got any grapes in here' The bartender all red-faces yells at him, 'For the Last time!!!! NO WE AIN'T GOT NO GRAPES!!!! If you come in here again asking, I'm gonna Nail your damn webbed feet to the floor! GOT IT!' and the duck leaves. The very next day, the duck walks in and asks 'Hey Bartender, got any Nails?' The Bartender all confused says 'Nails? No I ain't got no nails.' 'Oh good, you got any grapes?' Semi-Dirty: an Asian couple are having sex one night. They're going at it at a pretty good pace, and the woman cries out 'GIMME 69! GIMME 69!!' The man stops, looks at her funny, and says 'You want Beef and Broccoli now?' One for kids. Q: Why do watermelons have to get married in churches? A: Because they Cantalope. | |
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A pirate walked into a bar with a steering wheel on his penis, He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Ok comming right up But i cant help but notice there is a steering wheel on your penis" and the pirate says
"AAAARRRRR i know its been driving me nuts!" | |
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three vampires go into a bar.
the first one orders a glass of blood the second one wants a glass blood on the rocks the third only takes a glass of hot water the other two vampires say: "hey whats up? why do you only take water?" the third vampire opens his bag, pulls a bloody tampon out and says: "im gonna make tea!" thats the only english joke i know Germany
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A cop, thief and murder walk into a bar. he orders a drink.
Last edited by myrmidon on Aug 20, 2011, 1:07:37 PM
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What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick. Hello signature reader.
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What rises in the east and falls in the west?
Communism. Will most likely never get into beta.
Scratch that. (trollface) | |
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Dragonball The Live Action film. Done.
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