A good story

This is easily the best thread on the forum. I lol'd heartily at all the Luchadors.

Beardmaster looked up from his thoughts with a sad look on his face, "I had a really good time on that quest.. I thought you did too.."

Legend sat down on a rock and pondered, "Well.. it's not like it wasn't a fun quest. I mean we really did work the shit out of the poverty wagon."

"Man", Beardmaster laughed, "They are still finding pieces of that thing as far as Farville down east."

"haha, yeah. Maybe it was a little over kill."

"No such thing."

"But still", Legend stood up and pointed at Beardmaster, "You didn't have to take me back to town in that condition! You made it look like you did all the work and I just got my ass kicked!"

"You needed medical attention! What was I supposed to do?"

"I was fine!"

"You were barely conscious, and your arm was off!"

"I cauterized the stump, I wasn't in any danger. We could have gone to the next town, made up a lie or something and got me healed. It's all about the triumphant return, haven't you figured that out yet?"

Beardmaster stroked his beard again in thought before speaking, "I thought.. isn't it about protecting the people?"

Legend threw his hands up in the air, "What! It's like you know nothing about questing at all!"

"Apparently I know enough!"

"Yah well I can't forgive it. Not now, not ever! You dragged me back there looking like complete shit and took like ALL the cred!"

Beardmaster frowned, "I.. I didn't know it was such a big deal!"

"Well it was!"

"as far as farville"...literary gold.

Yeah, new parts getting longer.

Legend glared harsher at Beardmaster, "I applied for quest after quest as I grew older, but the quest masters had recorded my fail that day on the eternal records and never was I given a chance to redeem myself. I quested under the table to pay my way during my early twenties, but since I could never file for success, these quests never counted for shit. It was the blemish that scarred my entire life."

Beardmaster thought for a moment and then knew what to do, "Then we must travel to the domain of the Questmaster General and set the record straight. I will collaborate the story."

"No", Legends eyes burned with hellfire, "My plan is better."

"Wha?"

"I will slay you and use the combined beard to murder the Questmaster General. I will burn the hall of questing to the ground. All records will be destroyed, and all questers will start anew on an even footing!"

Beardmaster couldn't hold in a hearty chuckle, "Ha ha, I think you overestimate the power of my beard, even pushed to its full potential. The hall of questing is a fortress, and there are agents guarding it. Three of them. You will never make it, even if you defeat me now!"

"I've heard the legends, Beardmaster, I know what your beard is capable of."

"The scholars exaggerate."

"Exaggerate this!", suddenly Legend lept forth, his beard stretching to unholy lengths lashing out in several directions. Beardmaster lept backwards and fended the beard with his beard dagger. His attacker moved with legendary speed and managed to outdo Beardmasters defenses. However, when the beard began to twine around Beardmasters limbs it suddenly jerked, loosened and rapidly retracted to its former length. Legend paused in confustion as Beardmaster quickly stood up and held his out his beard dagger in defense.

"My beard knows its maker, it will do me no harm. You should have known this."

Holy shit, I will do some questing under the table before I reenter cruel tomorrow, sure as sure.

I hope this thread never dies.

OP is actually delivering...Questmaster General FTW.

Words cannot describe... God damnit man, keep writing! You should be published!

Retcon this shit and make a two-hundred-ish page novel of it. I will help promote your Kickstarter page, and offer no more than $50 backing myself. I'd offer more but the poverty wagon has already pillaged my village :( such a nasty thing, that...

Edit: If you want inspiration... Just remember, Hemingway wasn't a particularly great author; he was just a drunk who metered the coherency of his writing with notoriously short sentences.

"

CanHasPants wrote:

Words cannot describe... God damnit man, keep writing! You should be published!

Retcon this shit and make a two-hundred-ish page novel of it. I will help promote your Kickstarter page, and offer no more than $50 backing myself. I'd offer more but the poverty wagon has already pillaged my village :( such a nasty thing, that...

Edit: If you want inspiration... Just remember, Hemingway wasn't a particularly great author; he was just a drunk who metered the coherency of his writing with notoriously short sentences.

This. These stories remind me of The Alphabet of Manliness by Maddox.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Alphabet_of_Manliness

I am now sporting Legend of Beardmaster in my sig.