Free key for funny!

"

repeatloader wrote:

explained very well - and being the only one active now in here, guess you win the key.

:)


Grats - key in in pm for ya :)

hooray, thank you very much again :)

"

repeatloader wrote:

explained very well - and being the only one active now in here, guess you win the key.

:)


Grats - key in in pm for ya :)

I leave to go cook dinner and this is what happens, shieet. Oh well, congrats on the key man, I hope the baked spaghetti is worth it.

Well I'm back! And quite sad how this thread turned out! we are going to give this thread til 2pm EST and the funniest comment posted by then wins!! So everyone who has posted thus far is still in the running! Best of luck everyone!!!

I really need this key! dude u have to belive me...
I need this key to open a HUGE chest that contains kazillions of tons of gold! When I open it I will give half to u, and from the rest 50% I will divide like this:

20% - goes to GGG - so they already start making POE II,III and IV.

11% - goes to charity - to feed the hungry

8% - goes for building a time machine - so I can go back in time and tell u to give me the key as soon as u got it....

6% - goes to Will Ferrel's new movies - so he can make few more of those hilarious comedies.

4% - goes for Taxes

and finally - 1% - will be changed to 1 dollar bills so whole world can whipe their arses with it.

Thanks for reading this , I'm really greatful

erm ...

I've got cerebral palsy. Most folks I meet can't tell, especially if we're sitting or stationary as it only effects my legs. When I walk, my legs tend to shake (or vibrate, as my friends say).

Due to this vibrating, my friends often refer to me as "the vibrator", and its a running joke that while I may have a physical handicap, I've got certain... sexual advantages.

One night, in college my friends (and some liquor) managed to convince a girl to hook up with me, to "lose my v-card". Things were actually going swimmingly, until my friends started chanting "vi-brae-tor, vi-brae-tor, vi-brae-tor" outside the dorm room door. The girl was mortified, and immediately put a stop to the action.

Once we turned on the lights, we started getting dressed and I took off the condom. It turns out, I'm severely allergic to Latex so my generals had literally started swelling out of control, and a horrible, horrible rash was developing. I looked down, and started to panic; I had no idea what was wrong, and assumed she had an STD. She took one look, and assumed I had an STD.

I'm standing in the center of the room, my legs shaking, trying to cover my groin. The girl had completely burst into tears at this point and was screaming at me, asking me how I could do it to her. I was on screaming back at her, calling her terrible things, asking her what she'd done to me. At this point, all 5 of my friends literally kicked through the door to me, naked with a swollen, itchy, stinging groin, legs shaking, tears streaming down my face.

Luckily, one of my roommates put two and two together, and figured it was the Latex. Once we'd figured it out, my roommates laughed uncontrollably before they took me to the ER.

That is the story of my first sexual experience.

This might actually be funnier:

http: //www.break.com/index/everything-at-once-2299046

kjhansen1 This was a funny story thread, not a pity story man. That has to be one of the worst first sexual experiences anyone has ever encountered. I laughed not once, only a deep feeling of sorrow for both involved.

Lighten up brother, I bet you will get a key out of it :-)

Haha = ) it was a few years ago. Definitely wasn't very entertaining at the time... looking back we can laugh though.

Looks like I didn't miss a whole lot during the night. >.>

So, here's another humorous story of my past.

One day, I was having a particularly bad day and wanted nothing more than to go to my room and take a much needed nap. After I had gone to bed and was just beginning to doze off, my brother and his friend decided they were going to bother me. They kept knocking on my window and laughing. (We lived in a ground floor apartment at the time. So on the outside, my window was at ground level)

So after several minutes of me trying to ignore them, I go to my window and open it just a crack so that I could tell them to knock it off. They refused. So I reached into the chest of drawers that was just under the window and grabbed my BB gun. I point it at the little opening I had made earlier in my window. I told them that if they didn't leave me alone, they'd play target practice with me.

Naturally, they weren't phased by this. My threats were often empty. So I fired a warning shot from my BB with its little plastic pellets. I was not expecting what happened next. The BB ricocheted off the window sill and hit my brother's friend square in the knee who was at a ninety degree angle from where I was actually pointing me gun. It took me a long moment to figure out why he yelped so loudly and was suddenly holding his knee. This perplexed me until I figured out the cause.

So I grin at my brother. "Do you still want to play target practice?" I then flung my window open and point. "You wouldn't," my brother challenged. "Oh? I've already got your friend..." So that's when his friend, I guess deciding he doesn't want to play any more, bolted away from the backyard, and more importantly, my window. My brother was no longer as confident. Still, being my brother, he felt the need to challenge me. So I fired.

The BB bounced off the ground just feet away from him. Now my brother is still unsure. But still expresses his desire to be tough. So this time, I aim directly at him. He turns to run. I fired. Suddenly, he's jumping up and down and screaming like a little girl while holding his right butt cheek. I got him. He runs off, crying. (I suppose that was a rather tender spot. ) I casually put my BB away and went to go lay down again.

Suddenly my door bursts open, my brother is there glaring at me. He threatens to tell on me and runs to the living room. I follow, suddenly unsure of what my punishment would be. I did, after all, just shoot my brother. So I stand there quietly as my brother tells his story. I do not deny any of it.

So after my brother finishes his tearful story, my dad looks at me for a long moment and finally says, "Your aim is getting better. Good job," he then turns to my brother who is gaping at this sudden turn of events. "You really should have left her alone the first time she told you to go away. I had heard the whole thing."


Moral of the story: Sleepy sisters may be sleepy but their aim can be spot on.>=]