Ask a (formerly) homeless (pseudo-)bum anything

Dear hate visage item seller(10 chaos remember),

Part of my question has been probably been answered.
If you could meet Scrotie from the past as:
1. Yourself. What kind of advices would you gave him?
2. A stranger. What kind of words do you think a stranger could have used that would have been able to change scrotie from the past into scrotie of now "faster"?. ( like a random sentence from the internet/ Book/ whatever)
(edit: What other things do u think have you learnt?)

Don't tell me: no words/advices would have changed anything. Please!

"

INEXFadeXFHONOR wrote:

Dear hate visage item seller(10 chaos remember),

Part of my question has been probably been answered.
If you could meet Scrotie from the past as:
1. Yourself. What kind of advices would you gave him?
2. A stranger. What kind of words do you think a stranger could have used that would have been able to change scrotie from the past into scrotie of now "faster"?. ( like a random sentence from the internet/ Book/ whatever)
(edit: What other things do u think have you learnt?)

Don't tell me: no words/advices would have changed anything. Please!

Unlike the Darko children, I don't believe in time travel. As such it's kind of a moot point. But my Rule Zero in my Advice to Homeless People would be "don't delay the inevitable; expedite it." If you're going to be homeless, best to break that dysfunctional routine as soon as possible, shake things up, and find a new more functional routine, rather than living a "same shit, different day" pseudolife. That means being homeless sooner rather than later. Above all, do not wait until you are financially broke and thus utterly at the mercy of others; you need a small fund which you barely touch to deal with the unforeseen. That's sound advice for both strangers and my former self.

I've heard that the military have some of the best pranksters.

What is the funniest prank that you have seen, heard or been a part of?

"

Hardlicker wrote:

I've heard that the military have some of the best pranksters.

What is the funniest prank that you have seen, heard or been a part of?

In Basic Training they have a rule: your rifle must be within an arm's reach of your person at all times.

So Drill Sergeant Borlan (not his real name) comes in to work one Sunday carrying two big containers of liquid Tide and a smirk on his face. DS Borlan didn't talk much, but I'll never forget his conversation with us near the beginning of training while he was the only DS on duty: "One day, privvits, you will walk to your mailbox and see a letter from the US Army Drill Sergeant School. And when you see this letter... go AWOL, privvits. Go AWOL." Which really told us everything we needed to know about how he felt about his position in life.

So hours later I'm in the laundry room waiting on my machine with one other trainee in the far corner of the room, and in walks DS Borlan with a big ole thing of Tide in his hand... and in the middle of the room, equidistant to both, is that other trainee's rifle. And there was this magical instant where the two of them, red-handed trainee and disgruntled trainer, stared each other down; it was like a moment from a Sergio Leone film.

And then the glorious instant was over, and the competitors rush towards the unattended rifle. They arrive with uncanny simultaneity and each get hands on it. A wrestling match breaks out and they tumble to the floor, a table blocking my view. But DS Borlan stands victorious, then runs to where I've been observing and orders me to block the private's movements. So I get an upclose view of him dousing the rifle in Tide — including a generous dose to the firing chamber. I've heard of demonic possession, but he genuinely seemed possessed by Loki. (And not in the Avengers sense.)

Then DS Borlan leaves as suddenly as he arrived. Although I wasn't witness to it, the evidence of his Tide-fueled spree was all over the barracks. Fun with mops.

What's tide?

"

JohnGrammaticus wrote:

What's tide?

clothes detergent

too bad army service isnt mandatory in romania anymore..

Here we got different stories, i know some of the shit my family did

Dad laughed constantly when anyone made him do pushups and shit because he was very good and climbing and caving (got me into that stuff himself), so everyone else had to do more, and the DS just got angry every god damn day, and of course dad never got tired so he could run, climb and do stuff like that all day.

Uncle made moonshine in the cannons

Another uncle would execute the orders, but very very slowly so he would piss everyone off, and the DS couldnt do anything about it cause hes about the size of a fucking tank

Cousin was told to run, so he ran... a lot... jumped the fence while officers were screaming at him and kept running, amazingly didnt get kicked out of the army.

etc

I don't think I'd last a day in basic training. Fitness wise I'd be fine but I couldn't handle someone yelling in my face. That would be the tipping point and I'd either be thrown in the brig or thrown out of the military or just knocked clean out, maybe all three.

Full Metal Jacket is one of my favorite military movies, that and Stripes.

What's yours?

"

Hardlicker wrote:

Full Metal Jacket is one of my favorite military movies, that and Stripes.

What's yours?

Inglorious Basterds. Also: the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

And yes, I know that's a Tarantino fanboy answer.

Also: Moving into an apartment tomorrow. Your time to ask a homeless bum anything is running out.

"

ScrotieMcB wrote:

"

Hardlicker wrote:

Full Metal Jacket is one of my favorite military movies, that and Stripes.

What's yours?

Inglorious Basterds. Also: the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

And yes, I know that's a Tarantino fanboy answer.

Also: Moving into an apartment tomorrow. Your time to ask a homeless bum anything is running out.

How are you feeling about moving tomorrow?

Glad to hear it. :-)

Fuck yea.