I may be a different kind of genius - not even I am ready to accept it.

"

CharanJaydemyr wrote:

I fucking love you, Hardlicker.

Same here.

That's how most drinking sessions start.

By morning I'm cursing that evil bitch.

[7:20] BostonTeamParty: I want to talk, since there's really no one else on right now that can handle the depth of my concerns, but I fear your impression of me will become bigger than our connection.
[7:20] Overlord Forte: ?
[7:20] BostonTeamParty: I just have a few things to ponder about, if you are patient for it.
[7:21] Overlord Forte: dinner in 20 minutes but go for it
[7:22] BostonTeamParty: Well, you may not see it or even believe it with a pinch of salt, but I truly feel like a genius, or at least this passionate flame that burns brighter than the heavens trapped inside such a small box
where people stick knives through when ever I make a noise, because the things I say and think makes them insecure about themselves and causes them to reveal the primitive animal when I just want to
communicate these profound ideas I spent my entire childhood tempering into what it is now. I am always attacked, ignored, vilified and scorned for simply trying to make sense out of this world - out
[7:24] : of this chaos that we call existence. I understand so much that I have wise people 60+ rooting for me to write a book or to change the world one bit at a time.
I spent more time denying the possibility of being a genius than I did in thinking. I spent more time in pain and misery through silence than I did in being content and proud of my ideas I took care
of like cosmic children. I wanted to be a better man and use this power to be mutual and fair to others who should have a chance to make their own fate via their own actions, yet I am arrogant for
[7:26] : having ideas that surpass theirs, even though I spent my entire life thinking and being true to myself, while they dropped it for temporary desires that live to its ephemeral state - then it's gone.
They hate me because I am confident and passionate. They call it arrogance, but how is that possible? Every day I rip myself away from my own desires, my own dreams, my own needs to turn my brain into
the Universe because I know deep down that we are the Universe role-playing itself. That we are the stars in the sky. That our memories and experiences are created out of photoreceptors created by
stars that existed billions of years ago. I'm not here to play God - I am here to play human. To be that chaos, that emptyness and that becoming of such that makes this Universe so royally magnificent
[7:28] : I came across the greatest genius of our time, Nikolas Tesla.
My ideas are the same as his, in spite of me not being the genius when it comes to the engineering and the electricity - the philosophy of Tesla is the genius I share greatly, and I can only shake to
the mere concept that I am, indeed, on that level. It astounds me because everything as it is now - it appears that the geniuses are the simple men, and the animals pretending to be people miscreated
[7:30] : by their inability to truly understand why they think, feel and act - so it's a complex of consciousness that tends to devour other people's chances to live. The great minds made room for their
thoughts as much as they made room for their fellow men. I have never forgotten people no matter how little they were compared to the greatest of minds, just like I never abandoned the bottom of the
skyscraper for the top. I just wanted to feel this world and eliminate the hunger that never satisfied, yet imprisons me through every other person that never learned to let go of their convictions
to accept this Universe as a whole.
I just want to be - but this world doesn't accept me.
For I force them to accept themselves.
[7:33] : They see everything they try to hide in me, and I become their greatest enemy. I honestly don't know which is more difficult; bringing out the hero in these people, or the monster.
I just want to be free, but I still feel smothered and choked. I have to swim past the fire and smoke to get the surface of the cosmic sea - trying so hard to not absorb that pain and turn it into
hatred for those that made me transpire through so much pain and misery for their own escapades and refusal to accept the entanglement they have caused by not facing their contradictions and
consequences.
[7:36] : Every day, my chest is reigned by fire; my legs are quaking with forces of energy surging through my body and my mind feels as thick as a book that would cover every aspect of the Universe in one l
literary piece.
When I speak, my father is broken into tears. People listen to me in real life, but I never have taken it to the social world - I'm not ready, nor do I feel like I will ever be ready because that
advancement requires others to be ready. There are things in this world that I can not do alone - things that imprison great minds and punish innocent people because growth is hindered and life is
paused epxerientially.
[7:38] : experientially*
You don't have to believe me, but I was born by nature and raised by nightmares.
A lot of my wisdom was gained from my dream world, and the deeper thoughts that echo into my consciousness when I am half asleep and sitting in a dark room alone to my thoughts. Albert Einstein
came up with one of the most greatest inventions from day dreaming, so I am not crazy - I am a genius.
The question is - is the genius me, or is it something more?
[7:40] : Every genius is spoken to in some form by the Universe, because we're asking the right questions and listening for the right sounds and vibrations. These ideas are not ours - perhaps it is why we are
so alien compared to the common people. We were honest with ourselves and faced every fear, while people are only averaged minded because they hold themselves back - because they don't face their
own shadow. I truly believe that being a genius is not about some sort of intelligent greater than others - as anyone can achieve this with the right passion and devotion. It's really opening
[7:43] : ourselves up that allowed the Universe to flow through us like information flows through a chip of a computer that is fluent in travel and space.
The genius is the Universe.
We are the Universe.
The brain knows as much as the genius.
Yet, we, are only taught by that genius.
Without that genius, we are locked away from the Universe's secrets.
We all harbor it - very few acknowledge it, let alone know how to reach it.
[7:45] : That is why we always have grand ideas, but seem to always be left with not enough tools to execute as we imagined it.
That is why we question.
What is why I am talking to still after you deleted me from your contacts and silenced me.
talking to you*
that is why*
[7:47] : We are all sleeping geniuses - we are not all awakened geniuses.

[7:48] Overlord Forte: zzzzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZ

Do you still want the crib notes summary of PoE mechanics Deceptionist?

P.

[Removed because Mind Blowing Genius]

I am really enjoying the insurmountable level of tautologies, excuses, red herrings and other forms of "I don't know", and "I don't care". Instead of being difficult about your insecurities, why not simply admit that you never had the capacity to care or have the slightest incentive to put your brain ahead of your vanity.