Ask a (formerly) homeless (pseudo-)bum anything

Dear homeless bum

I don't know much about reenlistment in the US but isn't it an option for you to go back to the army if you liked it there?

EDIT:
could you tell us more stories about living in Detroit in general? Detroit is a worldwide legend and knowing someone who lived there is too interesting.

"

JohnGrammaticus wrote:

Dear homeless bum

I don't know much about reenlistment in the US but isn't it an option for you to go back to the army if you liked it there?

That would involve cutting back on my consumption of Mtn Dew and Oreos. Because, to clarify, I loved the job in terms of what I was doing in terms of computers and networking, while I wasn't a big fan of the whole running and pushups part. Frankly, I'm not very well cut out for it; it takes Basic Training level craziness to get me into decent shape, and maintaining it requires a hellacious amount of effort for me, for some reason (genes? a serious of really bad eating habits?).

"

JohnGrammaticus wrote:

EDIT:
could you tell us more stories about living in Detroit in general? Detroit is a worldwide legend and knowing someone who lived there is too interesting.

Wow. That's a request for a book, not a question.

The thing to understand about Detroit is that, as long as I've known it, it's never really had police. Before my time, all the proper businesses and businesspeople fled the city; under Kilpatrick (and prior) I pretty much assumed the police were all off doing corrupt shit; now that he's gone after sucking the last bit of value out, the city's too broke to afford anything whatsoever. So you're pretty much on your own; it's the land where municipal government doesn't exist.

Which means: you see some shit.

For example, I'm living just south of the now-famous Eight Mile Road (by Dequindre) and I take a little walk to the liquor store. On my way back, I look to the other side of the street and can't help but notice there's a young African-American gentleman, I'd say early twenties, wearing full samurai armor. Well, I guess not quite full — he didn't have the helmet — but for all I know he had stolen the stuff from a museum. I decided not to cross over the street, keeping him on the sidewalk on the right of the road while I remained on the left. As I passed him, I couldn't help but notice that he was wearing a strap over his shoulder, which a view from the side confirmed was a rifle harness; he was carrying a automatic rifle, most likely an AR-15, on his back, in lieu of a katana. I can only speculate as to the reasoning behind his choice of costume; I certainly wasn't going to follow him to find out. (In hindsight, I do wonder if he was carrying a pistol as an homage to the wakizashi.)

Same place, allowed a neighbor to borrow ten bucks. Two weeks later I start pressing him for it; he assures me he's got me. A couple days later he spots me and says "I got your ten" and comes up on me all smooth, even does the whole handshake-handoff thing to hand it to me. Except it's not money — apparently, in Detroit, crack is considered legal tender for all debts, public and private. Not being into that particular form of recreation myself, I ended up flushing it down the toilet. So much for loaning people money.

Also lived at 94 and Chalmers. That neighborhood was unquestionably worse. Got mugged, got shot at, found an old friend strung out on crack at the gas station, and had an acquaintance shot to death (for being racially insensitive — I mean, I disapprove of racism too, but I wouldn't sentence anyone to death over it).

And all this was when I had a job.

So yeah. Detroit. Don't go there.

Dear "Homeless Bum",

Does the dope suck in Texas?

I would tell some stories of Camden NJ, but I'm sure you've heard it all anyway.

This is the best thread in offtopic.

"

JohnGrammaticus wrote:

This is the best thread in offtopic.

i agree

it should be stickied

I'll try to keep today's question light.

Is everything BIGGER in Texas?

"

BoltThrower87 wrote:

Dear "Homeless Bum",

Does the dope suck in Texas?

Nothing I'd know from first-hand experience; I don't do that stuff. That doesn't mean I don't notice things, though. Marijuana and spice are popular here, but that doesn't mean shit; they're popular everywhere. Surprising amount of crack and acid use; surprisingly small amount of meth and molly (apparently hard to find).

"

Hardlicker wrote:

I'll try to keep today's question light.

Is everything BIGGER in Texas?

Nope. If anything El Paso is fond of small (but cheap) portions; lots of folks cross over to spend their pesos here (converted to dollars, of course). The only thing that seems big is the land itself; if you're planning a trip, best have money for gas.

Once I know if I still have my Job. I'll buy you a Pizza, Homeless Bum.

Question: What sort of things do you need the most in your current situation?

Dear Homeless Bum,

Do you sometimes dream about cheese?
Because I do...

Dear homeless bum

What's the plan, what's coming next for you? You stated earlier that current adventure ends in about two weeks time, you got something more coming?