After taking estrogen for three months!

Well, then you probably have suppressed, shallow or nonexistent emotions for one reason or another. Take this with a grain of salt, I'm just an armchair psychologist, but this would be my guess.

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Bars wrote:

Well, then you probably have suppressed, shallow or nonexistent emotions for one reason or another. Take this with a grain of salt, I'm just an armchair psychologist, but this would be my guess.

That may be the case. I've had lots of theories thrown at me from friends, family, and online armchair psychologists.

I've been told I am an iconoclast, a sociopath, a homosexual who hasn't come out of the closet; I've been unofficially "diagnosed" with low testosterone; I've been told by females that I "just haven't met the right girl".

Could be one of those. Could be a mix of those. I haven't looked into it with a professional because I don't consider asexuality to be a problem. Honestly, it frees up a lot more time and energy and has saved me from just that: problems. All around me I see relationships that create drama and I know some of them were created out of tail chasing. Makes me think I dodged a devourer fireball.

But earlier in the thread there was some intense discussion on sexuality, particularly homosexuality, trans and dysphoria, and mental illness. So I was really curious what the members felt concerning asexuality.

It might be a sign of depression, in which case it's not a problem per se, but the symptom of a problem. Some people don't actually know they are suffering from depression as they have a wrong picture of it. If you have blunted emotions, nothing seems to interest you or really move you, and if everything seems a chore, this might be it.

It might also be a symptom of being somewhere on the antisocial personality spectrum, from mild to hardcore stuff. About 1% of the population are born as psychopaths and have practically no emotions. If this is the case, it's not a problem as you're simply born like that. I doubt this is the case though. At the very least, it's statistically improbable. A much higher percentage of people suffer from depression. "Sociopath" is something else, it means you've been through traumatic events which have cauterized your emotions, so to speak.

If you haven't spent many years in meditation and self-control exercises, asexuality is most likely the symptom of one problem or another, at least that's my take on it. Doesn't mean I'm telling you you absolutely must do something about it or change it. It's your life, your choices. As I said earlier, if you aren't harming anyone, anything is fine in my book.

In any case, if there is one drop of spirit inside you that thinks this is or could be a problem, like with most things, its best to solve it now rather than doing nothing, always remember if you dont do anything about things like these(psychological problems, depression, anxiety etc) the reality is you will live your whole life with those problems. Keep that in mind, these things dont pass on their own, its your choice.

I admit, I am a little anti-social. But I like to think I'm more... I forget the term, there's a go-between for introvert and extrovert. I value my personal time, but too much and I crave attention or camaraderie. On the flip side, if I spend too much time in proximity to a large group of people, regardless of if they are friends, family, or strangers, I will feel drained and crave alone time. So I don't know.

Depression isn't one I've had suggested before. And probably seems the most likely outside of Low T, if we are taking asexuality as a symptom of mental illness. I've never gone to a psychologist or therapist, but I'm sure I exhibit other symptoms of depression. But self-diagnosis never works, and I know I have plenty of things in my life that I enjoy doing (and have never stopped loving).

I'm not part of the crowd that believes that mental illness is taboo and shouldn't be discussed, or that it's "a joke" and "all in your head" (but it is all in your head, isn't it? 'cause it's MENTAL illness? eh? eh? no one? 'kay), but I am part of the crowd that's too proud to get it looked into. The "I'll manage. I ain't got time to bleed" crowd. So, if this is a symptom of a problem rather than my actual sexuality, I'm not certain I'd ever look into it and solve it.

Still; it's something to consider, and I appreciate the feedback. If I do ever stop and think that "this isn't right", I'll probably start there.

Oh, depression is a likely cause of asexuality, and I'm speaking from personal experience here, not from the armchair. Also, if the things you enjoy doing involve some kind of escape from reality (video games, reading, drugs, alcohol, movies/TV/internet, etc.), this doesn't rule depression out.

Low testosterone isn't diagnosed, it's measured. Once you measure it, if it's low, you start looking for reasons why it's so.

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Bars wrote:

Oh, depression is a likely cause of asexuality, and I'm speaking from personal experience here, not from the armchair. Also, if the things you enjoy doing involve some kind of escape from reality (video games, reading, drugs, alcohol, movies/TV/internet, etc.), this doesn't rule depression out.

Low testosterone isn't diagnosed, it's measured. Once you measure it, if it's low, you start looking for reasons why it's so.

I know. I meant unofficially "diagnosed" as in, some one told me "oh you probably have Low T". It was not a doctor, obviously.

Some things I enjoy do involve escapes from reality. Video games, reading, writing, acting. But there are many things I enjoy that put me in places where I'm not certain depression would let me shine. Acting, cooking for others (I routinely do bartending/cooking duties for parties my group of friends has).

I'm not really ruling depression out, mind you. I'm an adult. Childhood's over, I've seen some shit. I'm just not convinced I have it, or that it would be the cause of my sexuality. Again; if I ever think that something is "off", I'll look into the depression thing first with Low T. Of all the things close friends and internet armchair psychologists have told me, those seem to be the closest fits to a "cause" for me to be ace.

But maybe I'm not providing enough context on why I believe depression isn't the cause. So let me add that, for as long as I can remember (read: since elementary school) I have been this way. No desire. I may have wanted a girlfriend in late elementary/early middle because "it was cool" and it was honestly expected of me, but in high school I learned to stop caring what my peers thought since half of them were idiots.

All right, if you've always been like that, it rules out what I said and I'm left with "no idea". It certainly diverges from my experience.

I was a horny and perverted little fucker at a very early age. Some adults would've probably been appalled if they could read my mind :D

I'm inclined to agree with the hormonal hypothesis, and would recommend getting tested. Unlike psychological disorders (or lack thereof) it's objective whether you have low testosterone or not.

I also recommend trying to interact with interesting, well-informed, brilliant people in real life. I understand this is difficult; I agree that stupidity is rampant in the general population. I suspect your friends act more as a substitute for comradery than the real thing; perhaps you're afraid to get to the root cause of the drain you feel. But you should aspire for deeper connections instead of giving up and relying solely on the internet for intelligent conversation. Keep in mind that many intelligent people share your cynicism and are initially inclined to believe all they meet, including you, are zombies. Bit of a hedgehog's dilemma.

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Bars wrote:

All right, if you've always been like that, it rules out what I said and I'm left with "no idea". It certainly diverges from my experience.

I was a horny and perverted little fucker at a very early age. Some adults would've probably been appalled if they could read my mind :D

Haha, yeah. I noticed my "preference" certainly isn't normal pretty quickly in public school! I wasn't really looking to stump anyone here, though. Asexuals have it good; we're not openly hunted down and persecuted like the rest of the LGBT community.

Sure, we don't really receive any recognition, but I am not convinced that is a bad thing. Why would we need recognition? "Everything is marketed by the sex sells scheme!" So? You want a product, you buy it. You don't want a product, you don't buy it. You're immune to the main market shtick; you can't be manipulated like the rest.

The only problem seems to be when people "come out" as asexual. You receive this blank stare, and more often than not just get told you're homosexual (missing the point). And of course, homosexuals get persecuted in violent (and nonviolent, like being treated differently by others, losing jobs, etc.) ways. So there's always the hesitation of being open about it and being harassed for no real reason (you'd think they'd be happy we're not competing for their market, eh?).

It's mostly for the reasons of other LGBT member persecution that I've remained quiet in my real life activities, only sharing with close friends and family that I love and respect (and already know support LGBT rights). So it's nice to look for opinions online. Unfortunately, some of the forums that readily give feedback on that are also places that coddle you and tell you "you're perfect, nothing's wrong" - I'm sure you know the type. I don't want to be harassed, certainly. But I also don't want to be treated like a beautiful rare cactus flower and asked to sing along to Disney songs. I've noticed that I won't get that here, and I actually respect most OT vets' opinions.

When the huge text walls were dumped earlier, it looked like a lot of thought and research had been done on homosexuality, the homosexual rights movement, transsexuality, gender dysphoria, etc. and I was curious if anyone had done the same on asexuality. Or if we're just that fly on the wall that no one notices (read: Canada).