Funny Jokes and memes!

Perplexed White House staffers see Bill Clinton walk into the Oval Office with a pair of woman's panties pinned to his sleeve.

As the day wears on, several VIPs go in and out of the Oval Office, each one leaving with a puzzled expression.

Finally, Betty Currie, Clinton's loyal secretary, walks into the office and gently closes the door behind her. "Mr. President," she says. "We're all quite concerned that you seem to be wearing a woman's pair of panties on your arm."

"Oh no," the President grins, "it's the patch. I'm trying to quit."

A blonde canvassed a wealthy neighborhood looking for odd jobs. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had anything for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"

"How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her the paint was in the garage. A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" he asked.

"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

After a horse race, the second place horse says to the winning horse,
"Wow, I tried all I could to catch up with you but I just couldn't do it. You are so fast! But I really want to win a race. Hey, do you think you could let me win the next race?"
The winning horse responds, "You were really fast out there. You seem like a nice guy so I'll go ahead and let you win the next race."

The next race starts and the horse who won the last race is neck-and-neck with the runner-up. Just before the race ends the winning horse bolts ahead of the runner-up, winning the race.
The second place horse says, "WTF man, you said you'd let me win the race! That's messed up!"
The winning horse responds, "Man, I'm really sorry. My instincts just kicked in and before I knew it I was ahead of you. Sorry man. Tell you what, I will definitely let you win the next race. I promise!"

So the third race begins and the runner-up of the previous races gets ahead of the other horse. Getting close to the finish line, he's certain that he'll win the race, happy that the other horse is finally going to make good on his promise. Just before the finish line, the other horse unexpectedly bolts ahead of him yet again, winning the race.
The runner up yells, "Dude, you are such an a$$hole! You promised me you'd let me win the race, but once again you lied! Man, screw you. You are seriously just a lying scumbag!"

Just then a dog walks by and says to the two horses "Nice race, guys!"
The winning horse looks at the other horse and says "Hey look. A talking dog."