Favorite quotes from frequent off topic posters

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Hardlicker wrote:

my hovercraft is full of eels

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4chan wrote:

Tits or GTFO.

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ScrotieMcB wrote:

You see these women with their National Geographic boobs dripping down their waists. Course their boyfriends always look at me. I needed to get my teeth fixed, too. But I only had enough money for one or the other. I think I made the right choice because now no one even notices that my teeth are crooked.

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MoonYu wrote:

We went to Tijuana, Mexico, you know? And we thought it would be fun, you know, to go to a show. Everybody says you gotta check out one of these shows. And... it's a woman fuckin' a horse. We get there and we think it's gonna be awesome and... it is not as cool as it sounds like it's gonna be. It's kinda gross.

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VictorDoom wrote:

It's doggie style. It's just the style. We don't have to go outside or anything.

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MoonYu wrote:

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Hardlicker wrote:

Not long after Christmas, my father took me to the Dallas Public Library's bookmobile, where we checked out a couple of books on ventriloquism. I confess I still have one of those books, and writing a check for that fine now just might require a five-digit number. And it did. More on that to come.

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DogFaceNoSpace wrote:

You know what happens if you're late returning a book in my country?

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Hardlicker wrote:

No.

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DogFaceNoSpace wrote:

Me neither, but the point is that Hilary and Obama are poser socialists compared to the socialists around here.

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Väkirauta wrote:

I have a question.

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Hardlicker wrote:

What is it, Väkirauta?

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Väkirauta wrote:

You do realize you are flagrantly plagarizing Jeff Dunham's All By My Selves, right?

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Hardlicker wrote:

No, that's not me, that's MoonYu. I'm just a voice in his head. Or something.

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MoonYu wrote:

No, it's not me either.

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Hardlicker wrote:

Wait, are you quoting yourself?

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MoonYu wrote:

Yes. Yes I am.

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You can stand and converse with my ideas, or be pushed back into a corner and snarl your teeth to protect your idealism.

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Deceptionist wrote:

Yeah no one ever knows what you're talking about
So i guess you're already there
No one opens up when you scream and shout
But it's time to make a couple things clear

If you're afraid of what you need
If you're afraid of what you need
Look around you, you're surrounded
It won't get any better

Until the night

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ScrotieMcB wrote:

All right, pump those numbers up, those are rookie numbers in this racket. I myself, I jerk off at least... twice a day.

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MoonYu wrote:

No, I didn't take him to the bloody hospital. Now tell me this, right? Why would I shoot a bloke - BANG - and then put him in the bloody car and whiz him off to the hospital at a hundred miles an hour? It defeats the purpose of having shot him in the first place. What's more, it's bloody insulting, it's bloody insulting. I mean, am I the only bloody standover man in the country who provides a medical plan for some of these characters?

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Upandatem wrote:

Sometimes it happens that a man's circle of horizon becomes smaller and smaller, and as the radius approaches zero it concentrates on one point. And then that becomes his point of view.