Coffee all night.

Drink beer. Problem solved :)

Drinking coffee all night was OK in college. Hell, lots of us did it. I'm guilty. Not sure adults should be bragging about regressive behavior.

Gettin' Gud.

so is it done or wat I don't understand

Coffee time just kicking into gear now. Prepare your Keurigs!

I would like to introduce the thread to something that it has been my misfortune to have not avoided encountering:



No, it does not have nuts in it. In fact, I don't think it has coffee in it, either.

I worked at a facility that awarded a supply contract to a cantina supplier that decided the facility would be well-served by providing them with this... stuff. Somehow, I'm sure some purchasing agent did not provide the correct specifications for "coffee." So, we got this instead.

I will attempt to describe what the final product tastes like when brewed with all-natural, pure, delicious water to yield what is actually one of the most offensive substances on the planet. It can remove paint, though not just by direct contact - It can actively scare paint away from multiple types of surfaces.

How to prepare:

Take an old aluminum wash-tub. (The aluminum will oxidize, slightly, imparting a bit of extra flavor.) Bathe a donkey in it. Remove the donkey. (Important) Then, set the wash-tub on a fire and boil the filthy solution for about half an hour until it's nearly reduced to a thin syrup.

Get one tire, preferably from a chicken-hauling truck. (If you've ever encountered one of those, you'll know...) Grind that tire up, radials and all.

Add the tire bits to the wash-tub and stir. Let it set overnight.

Prepare a roast fish that night. It doesn't matter what the species is. What matters is that you wrap the fish in tinfoil and bake it in a suitable oven until done. Discard the fish, save the left-over tinfoil and let it cool.

Carefully strain out the solids from the wash-tub the next day. Pour the remainder back into the aluminum wash-tub. Heat until the solution is hot enough to start smelling not-like-coffee. Then, pour into a cup. Finally, while chewing used tinfoil from from the night before, pass this solution into what you would normally use to consume "coffee" and swallow.

This is an offensive beverage.

I don't mean that it actually tastes bad enough to be considered "offensive." I mean that its existence is offensive. It's offensive to the coffee mug you poured it into. It's offensive to the sense of smell, especially taste, and to common reason and rational thought. It is an actively offensive beverage.

That's pretty impressive for what is a mostly inanimate substance.

At the same facility, we could sometimes find medium-sized bags of some brown ground-up material as well. They were stored near where coffee could be made, but had no identifying marks. We would occasionally use this substance to make "coffee." I do not actually know, however, that it was coffee. But, it was more preferable than "Choc full o' Nuts."

10/10

This topic is so stimulating I decided to read it twice.

"

Foreverhappychan wrote:

This topic is so stimulating I decided to read it twice.

Kind of like your book :)

"

DoubleU wrote:

"

Foreverhappychan wrote:

This topic is so stimulating I decided to read it twice.

Kind of like your book :)

I write the best books. Everyone to a T says so. Biggest, most beautiful books.