Whoever makes me laugh i'll give him a beta key...

I've got cerebral palsy. Most folks I meet can't tell, especially if we're sitting or stationary as it only effects my legs. When I walk, my legs tend to shake (or vibrate, as my friends say).

Due to this vibrating, my friends often refer to me as "the vibrator", and its a running joke that while I may have a physical handicap, I've got certain... sexual advantages.

One night, in college my friends (and some liquor) managed to convince a girl to hook up with me, to "lose my v-card". Things were actually going swimmingly, until my friends started chanting "vi-brae-tor, vi-brae-tor, vi-brae-tor" outside the dorm room door. The girl was mortified, and immediately put a stop to the action.

Once we turned on the lights, we started getting dressed and I took off the condom. It turns out, I'm severely allergic to Latex so my generals had literally started swelling out of control, and a horrible, horrible rash was developing. I looked down, and started to panic; I had no idea what was wrong, and assumed she had an STD. She took one look, and assumed I had an STD.

I'm standing in the center of the room, my legs shaking, trying to cover my groin. The girl had completely burst into tears at this point and was screaming at me, asking me how I could do it to her. I was on screaming back at her, calling her terrible things, asking her what she'd done to me. At this point, all 5 of my friends literally kicked through the door to me, naked with a swollen, itchy, stinging groin, legs shaking, tears streaming down my face.

Luckily, one of my roommates put two and two together, and figured it was the Latex. Once we'd figured it out, my roommates laughed uncontrollably before they took me to the ER.

That is the story of my first sexual experience.