The Depression Resources Thread

So, I've had a few interesting interactions over the last couple of weeks - not so much in Path of Exile, but rather in my professional life. My job is hard to describe, but essentially its a remedial support role for tertiary students that covers a lot of ground.

We're hitting crunch time at the moment for assessments, assignments and exam study - so I'm dealing with a lot of usually very confident, bright, and well adjusted students who are suffering tremendously under the weight of their responsibilities. Most of the people in here will know and understand that particular challenge that comes from studying, and how it feels like so very much of your life depends on the numbers or letters that are attached to your work when it is returned.

A lot of the students I have been working with lately have been male, predominantly 16 - 24 (how these guys can juggle full time tertiary study at 16 amazes me). A good proportion of them are also into gaming - which is great as this gives me a way to talk to them that they can relax with and engage in. In fact, I know a few of them are regular PoE players and supporters.

So what is this thread about? Well, I wanted to take the opportunity to put together a little list of interesting resources that can help people work through some of the challenges that study, work and family can present. Depression is a tricky beast, a black dog of many sizes and levels of ferocity, and sometimes people who have a lot of pressure need to know that they are not alone, that things can get better, and that there are people out there who can understand and empathise, and even help.

So, with OT's help, I'd like to compile a short group of resources for people to read, click on, and maybe play. The aim? To take a little of the pressure off.

If you want to contribute to the thread, you can do so in a number of ways - you could jot down a few links to online resources, maybe recommend a book or a lifestyle change/aid, you could tell a story about your own experiences, or maybe just write something nice for people to read.

Gamers are different from other people, but only because EVERYONE is different from other people. We share the same highs, lows and stresses that other people do (with the added stress of trying to kill Dominus at 10fps on 250ms because we partied with a Discharge build).

Here is a great video from a guy called Danny O'Dwyer (Gamespot), that I have used a couple of times with students:

Video Games vs. Depression

Here is a link to the game he talks about:

Depression Quest

Some little day to day snippets to keep yourself rolling:

21 tips to keep your shit together

I heard about depression quest through gamergate. Shame really.

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TheWretch wrote:

I heard about depression quest through gamergate. Shame really.

Yeah? I don't know anything about that. I do remember a little while back the creator got a whole bunch of nasty threats and hatred hurled her way - I'll assume the two are linked.

Well I have worked with kids, teens and senior citizens. Depression does not discriminate... People say there's a cure, you will get over it... Etc. however it's not true. Depression the only way around it is by distraction. Perhaps there's a chemical imbalance... Perhaps there isn't. Who's to say...

Depression can hit at anytime, but mostly do in part by some dramatic event. With that said the rumination is what inhibits this type of reaction. There are people so depressed that have absolutely no facial expressions. Regardless of topic or even trying to help it is impossible to take someone out of depression.

The scary part of depression, it's a silent killer. Depression comes in many forms, the most deadly form is when you have someone that seems to be enjoying life, he/she laughs, engages in conversation in social settings... Has a normal life. But to this type of depressed person that's just it... Life becomes a routine, boring, uninteresting until one day he/she says to themselves, "what's the point."

Teens have it a bit difficult... Puberty, settling on their own personality, impressing peers, peer pressure... The list continues. For teens my sincere advice, get it done as soon as possible. What do I mean by that...

Simple, whether it's homework, chores, exams... Get it done ASAP. And every single thing you have to do write down as a checklist. At the end of the night you can go, "I hate life but damn at least I completed my list." The objective here is to train your brain to release endorphins/ dopamine... Get your brain use to this, in the right way.

Hence why people get addicted to alcohol, meth... Pain killers. You are literally training your mind to release these chemicals by doing bad things. So train your brain by doing good things.

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TheWretch wrote:

I heard about depression quest through gamergate. Shame really.

Yeah? I don't know anything about that. I do remember a little while back the creator got a whole bunch of nasty threats and hatred hurled her way - I'll assume the two are linked.

Just google it if you're interested. Too long and sordid a story to tell. Yes, the two are absolutely linked.

My Own Little Story

Quite a few years ago, back when I was studying, I worked as a Bartender for a city based pub. After a while I got bumped up to the role of Assistant Manager, and figured that my ship had come in. Decent money (for hospo), and a bit of managerial responsibility - tied in nicely with my studies at the time.

Unfortunately, things got a little out of control. My 20 hours of work a week ballooned into 60 - 80. I always had to be 'on' so I supplemented my energy with tonnes of coffee (this was pre energy drinks), and when that stopped working I started in on other stimulants.

Trying to juggle all the work while completing my course work was tough. So I made a well reasoned decision - "Work is getting me money, study is costing me... I'll skip a few classes, earn some money, crunch the exams and bank the savings." I figured I could have a year without working if I could save enough.

Unfortunately, to come off the high I started to drink a lot. It was the only way to get to sleep for a few hours before either work or university. Between the drinking, the drugs, the lack of sleep, the stress of dealing with drunk people, fights, and my failing grades... I started to look for options to get things sorted out. I was working my ass off, but was always short of cash, always tired, and so angry that my dealings with customers and my staff had become awful.

My snap moment came one morning while on the bus. I caught myself planning the quickest and easiest way to 'accidentally' end my life. It would be a nice elegant solution, and I would finally be able to rest. No more bullshit work, no more grinding study for an 8am class at 4am after work. The calmness of my planning scared the hell out of me, and I realised I had been contemplating it for quite a while.

I ended up spending a few sessions with one of the free counselors at the Student Association, and we talked about a lot of things. The touchy-feely shit did nothing for me, but the maths on the cost of my habits did. Over the next couple of months I forced myself cut my shifts back, dropped the AM role, weaned my ass off the drugs (that was a bitch), and stopped drinking as much. It took about 3 months, but I was back to 20 odd hours a week, enjoying my job, and in the end I managed to scrape a passing grade.

The thing was, it was insidious. I was pretty sure I was making good decisions along the way. I was having fun, I was meeting people, I thought I was coping. When you look back, you can see just how fucked things are, but when you're in that box you don't notice how bad it really is. It's not easy to find a way to get out of the box, hole, darkness, whatever. Talking helps, though.

The great thing is, you don't always need friends and family in order to talk to people about whats going on. Sometimes, they aren't the best people to go to anyways - it can be too hard to share those feelings with people you care about. If, you don't have that support network then look up some other resources. There are quite a few in NZ, and I am sure some of the other posters will have suggestions to.

One of the agencies I have worked with over the last couple of years to help students is:

Youthline

Life Line is also a great place to check out.

For most Universities, there are free health and counselling services available, either through Student Associations or through Student Services, most of them can be used anonymously.

As someone who went through depression in the past, and counseled other people for years, the little I can say is that being there for people is definitely very important.

For that matter, 1 hour a week is never enough to truly help people with real problems, nor understand them well enough. I made sure to always have at least 5 hours available, to cut the conversation short when the patient has opened up is one of the worst things you can do.
Its indeed best to try to be a friend with the patient, one thing that many professionals fail at.

Also many are too quick to prescribe medication, in some cases that is not a good idea, in fact, antidepressant-induced mania can lead to a person killing themselves with far more ease than they would if not medicated.
Now, hypochondriacs, some believe they have depression for the littlest thing, one should try to carefully spot those and talk them out of their own delusions, for wallowing in self-pity can lead to real problems - though many a times a placebo is all it takes -for that matter, I find it quite disgusting that some professionals will feed their health phobia with the intent of making money;

Everyone is depressed is one of the biggest shams in the field since mild and light autism (feeding on paranoid soccer moms who cannot even understand what a different personality is), for that one I feel quite disgusted at the fact some organizations used false information about famous achievers, often claiming great scientists who never had such, to be autists.
In a way their silence is comparable to those in the genetics not being able to say that people arent equal, to the ignorant crowd. (there's a reason your doctor will ask if there's cases of schizophrenia in the family and the max growth potential in some areas is obviously influenced by genetics).

But I digress, with all of this said, I would recommend http://irc.lc/dal/alt.suicide.holiday (also known as the alt suicide bus stop), this is what's left of a famous group, one of which I was part of.

If you go there try pming someone if nobody answers, they arent there all the time but they always answer when they see someone.
This is a group that was considered a bit polemic back in the days due to the fact they respect people's option to end their life.
With that said they will try to talk you out of it first, for as long as it takes, they will be there for you, but if you decide to ultimately end your life, they will respect your decision, that's all there is to it.

This group is by far the most understanding I've ever seen, I tested many IRC hotlines back in the day and loads would even kick or Ban you from the server when you said you are going to kill yourself; just unbelievable, do you have any idea how it feels to be deep in despair and thrown aside like you are trash to be hidden under the rug? A lot would only accept positive posts, leading to an ambient of opression towards the ones most in need of talking.

If you mean to question that death acceptance deal, Ill say that you havent seen true bad cases, there are some cases that indeed the person simply believes there's no way out, but there are some terrible cases where a person has nothing going for them at all, nothing but suffering. (wont talk for obvious ethical and legal reasons, not to mention the fact I would feel I was betraying those who confided their suffering to me)

Either way you can check the place if you dont believe, just amazing that to this day I can google alt suicide holiday and see a page that claims it is a satanic cult. How ignorant can people be, Hunting the witches of their hateful mind.

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Regarding Depression Quest:

I think depression quest is quite garbage. at least for the little I read of it (the novel) it had just a very basic understanding and usage of music to try to set the mood, it seemed quite forced (if you read it you'll see what I mean with forced right at the first pages).

Still, you can check it for free now, since after real critique and the fact that the creator not only received the only prize the game had unjustly due to sleeping around with journalists and the jury came to light, no one informed was stupid enough to buy the game by then.
doesnt help that the creator tried to destroy a charity and the ex-boyfriend released compiled series of talks with her that contained their conversations in his last attempt to fix their relationship, where she revealed to be quite the manipulative cold-hearted person, ironically the kind who makes others depressed.


The one that should have received the prize in that case was Papers please, I definitely recommend people to check that game. Its quite unique, ill just say its a game about border patrol. surprisingly addictive. Definitely check it out.
this (a bit outdated) video explains it well enough:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brTJzrXQVLU

For that matter and regarding gamergate, since there was a lot of misinformation, if you care to check around it (not sure if all is there, but if curious about the creator of depression quest there should be proof in there. yes actual proof, not out-of-context pieces of slander that many a website did). Not sure if this links are all stil up, but you can find compiled unbias information about the number of things that happened:

https://gitgud.net/gamergate/gamergateop/tree/master/Current-Happenings

To answer simply about the objective of GG: it was/is about ethics in a very (now proven) corrupted games journalism media. And for that matter, GG has achieved its victory recently, since many sites now force their writers to have a disclosure of ethics as to not completely deceive people with their conflicts of interest.

EDITED DUE TO MANY MISTAKES DUE TO WRITING AND REWRITING, IM SURE I STILL MISSED A FEW.

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The one that should have received the prize in that case was Papers please, I definitely recommend people to check that game. Its quite unique, ill just say its a game about border patrol. surprisingly addictive. Definitely check it out.
this (a bit outdated) video explains it well enough:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brTJzrXQVLU

I'd completely forgotten about, Papers, Please!

Very interesting little game, not fun*... but interesting.

*for me :)

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not fun

I will fight you.