The Autobiography of Ninja X

Yo wez grew up up in da bayou fo'sho. Under da pungent greasy still o' wet air. Times wuz hard until Momma' saved up enough shardz ta git our asses ta Tokaido. It wuz dere, wez lived on da streets yo. Hustlaz, and as dey called themselves, da Yakuza, would barge onto our tatami mats wif they floppy basebizzle caps an' long hakama an' demand uh tithe and two from Okaa-san. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy. 106 bling-blangin' GPC for an Erqi in da fresh Snows of January, yo.

dey took muh lil'erest brudda first. It wasn't his wild lil' fault. wez needed da currency. wez wuz starving. an' da only way ta make uh livin wuz ta ninja. Ya know? dey say itz up in our blood ta take an' ta jack n' ninja yo, but it aint like dat at all. It wasn't long until ah too wuz hittin dat shizzle fo' da Yakuza. an' when ah gots pimp-tight at it, dey busted mah crazy ass ta git da big-ass one. Ya see, Miss Krippuari wuz helpin' her failure o' uh anata seppeku his dirty ass all ova da nara rug, an' when he fell ova, he dropped all his wild lil' fancy samurai uniform on da ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

Naturally, ah wuz dere ta take it from her muthafuckin ass. Right back up in yo mutha' ass. She screamed dat it wuz his, blood soakin her body underneaf da pale moon light yo, but ah busted some lyrics ta her, "da dead don' keep nothin' Obaa-chan." But ah wasn't as quick as silver so dey caught me. Threw mah crazy ass up tha river. ah gots tattoos fo' dat shit. Eight o' dem. But as it were - dere ah hustled ta read an' ta write. ah memorized da doggtionary. Guuzen to Hitsuzen - dat sort o' thin`. an' when ah wuz finally outta prison, ah realized, wez need ta chizzle.

Us ninjas. ah wuz tryin not ta ninja nahh mo', up in prison, up in prison, ah only took what dey gave me. But you pimpz gotta dig', itz tough growin' up without nahh loot. wez gotta pay da bills. an' itz yo' prejudice datz doin' dat shit. datz what laid low fer da folks at da greetinz anyways, dat up in prison, ah realized, dat, derez no mutha outsida prison datz gonna make sho you git yo' rice at da end o' each night. an' dat itz dis here cycle o' haters, "don' mah fuckin don't give a fuck bout da ninja." ah tell dem, "It aint nuthin but da reason why dere is ninjas."

But dat didn't do so well. It didn't ring nobody's bells, I wann't no Queequeg. It took mah crazy ass uh long tyme, seein other ninja on da streets... dey wuz all alone. dat wuz da problem. dey didn't gots any unity. an' it all done cooked up sense- "Straight-Up, you gots ta dig', wez be all ninja. Every one o' our asses be uh ninja." datz what tha fuck ah say now, nahmeean biatch? an' dat dere ain't nahh bean curd up in da sky datz gonna give ya da thangs ya need, da loot ya need. Y'all KNOW dat shit, mutha! Yo ass just gots ta believe up in da ninjado, da way o' da ninja. Yo ass gotta ninja. Yo ass gotta abandon da hate. Yo ass gotta gots pride 'boutbein uh ninja. datz what tha fuck ah'm sayin` an' datz what tha fuck ah'm gonna keep on sayin'. an' from dat dizzle forf, ah called mahself Ninja X.

I felt my IQ start to drop as i began reading, then i had to stop, sorry anu.

here take this anti-flame shield, you'll need it.

i felt like i was reading trainspotting..

in louisiana..

"

brsieg wrote:

I felt my QI start to drop as i began reading, then i had to stop, sorry anu.

here take this anti-flame shield, you'll need it.

lol

I couldn't get past the first sentence. Can I have a translation?

Wtf language is this shi**. Gangstaredneckhillbilly?

"

dieslave wrote:

Wtf language is this shi**. Gangstaredneckhillbilly?

look at all this ninja preujdice

Is this in French?

"

tgcid9999 wrote:

I couldn't get past the first sentence. Can I have a translation?

It's the gripping story of a poor ninja who was forced to ninja to survive but is hated because he's a ninja so he's asking for solidarity from all the ninjas.

"

brsieg wrote:

I felt my IQ start to drop as I began reading