An Eternity of Silliness...featuring Project Melee...

NOW LET THE SILLY BEGIN. THIS IS A DRAMATIZATION!!! DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY!!! (who am I kidding they will. they also do. I doubt anyone read any of the above or this sentence. rehtie enil siht daer yeht kniht ton od I. Well then ZA WARUDO TOKI WO TOMARE...(7 seconds go by) ROAD ROLLER DA!!! MUDA (x100) Soshite toki wa ugoki desu) RUBBER CHICKENS and EAGLES FOR EVERYONE!!! except that one guy with that one shirt...he is actuall a stick with some leaves on it.


Hype Team Leader: "Players we have an announcement"

All Players: (raise their hands)

Hype Team Leader: "Please wait for the reveal"

All Players: (lower hands)

Hype Team Leader: "Thank you. After careful consideration we are going to make tweaks to the following: Jewels and Ailment Mitigation, Eldritch Altar Revamp, Archnemesis, Curses, and etc.

All Players: (inaudible cursing)

Hype Team Leader: now see here I know the last few leagues had issues but we are promising really good stuff this time around.

Range Player in the Back Row: "Why does melee suck?"

Melee Players: (inaudible cursing)

Hype Team Leader: "Melee is fine"

Totem Player in the Front Row: "As long as you don't play it. You forgot to say the whole thing"

Melee Players: (inaudible cursing)

Hype Team Leader: "Now hang on we are going to make tweaks for melee as well"

Melee Player in the Left Aisle: "Will there be a manifesto for this?"

Hype Team Leader: "Maybe"

Melee Players: (inaudible cursing)

All other playstyle players: (hysterical laughter)

Summoner in the Back Row: "So this is going to be a "you can trust us we are going to make it work this time around" thing huh?"

Hype Team Leader: "Yes, but we have legit plans. We are confdent in our new approach to melee"

Melee Player in the Middle Row: "wE hAVe LEgiT pLanS. What was the plan for +2 on Cleave?"

Hype Team Leader: "It was a good balance decision"

Melee Players: (inaudible cursing)

All other playstyle players: (louder hysterical laughter)

Spellcaster in the Middle Row: (crying due to laughter) "They really thought +2 on Cleave was going to save melee."

Hype Team Leader: "We are confdent in our new approach to melee"

Melee Player in the Back Row: "Really? So you fixed the targeting problem? You going to uncripple our attack speed? You going to give us meaningful utitlies that don't require us to do 4 different things before we even get a chance to attack? You going to give us better scaling avenues? You going to give us meaningful damage to offset the fact that we have limited attack windows against bosses? How about you make our skills good enough on their own so we don't have to use totems? What is the actual plan? While we are at what are you going to do about all the skills that barely see any use?"

Hype Team Leader: "um...well...We are confident in our new approach to melee"

Melee Players: (inaudible cursing)

Totem Player in the Back Row: "I get it now you plan on burying the "melee tweaks" and under used skills problem in a wall of text. Thus shrinking the window to recieve feedback on it and ignoring any FAQ's. Amazing just amazing"

Hype Team Leader: "We are confident in our new approach to melee"

Melee Player in the Back Aisle: "So is this a troll or PR fluff that amounts to wait or POE2?"

Hype Team Leader: "We are confdent in our new approach to melee"

Summoners: "Two Weeks..."

Rangers: "Two Weeks..."

Totem Players: "Two Weeks..."

Trappers: "Two Weeks..."

Spellcasters: "Two Weeks..."

A bunch of Randos that don't even play POE: "Two Weeks..."

Melee Player in the Back Row: "Enough with the Total Recall jokes...we get it"

Summoners, Trappers, Rangers, Totem Players, Spellcasters: (hysterical laughter)

Melee Players: (inaudible cursing)

All other playstyles players: "DRAMA!!!"
ok I'm done being silly.

Feels more like an accurate depiction of the situation than a joke though?

Cyclone Melee player sat right at the back with their feet up, contently smoking a cigar.



(Very good, btw)

I enjoyed that more than I thought I will :D

6/10

Was looking for some real belly laughs, but ended up just smirking.

This is usual, the show has been running for more than ten years.
I hope the theater curtain doesn't come down.

For real though, CW saying melee feels good in PoE 4.0, which wont be out until 2024 (likely), is pretty rough for melee enjoyers out there.

Feels bad.

Theyre probably going to save the buffs for melee when theres 50 players left

what?

"

superbomb1967 wrote:

6/10

Was looking for some real belly laughs, but ended up just smirking.

Kinda like Jojo's Bizarre Adventure after season 4. How ironic, given the blatant JJBA framing of this thread. Which, I admit freely, I did not read closely. Then again, I gave up on JJBA season 6 five episodes in, so I'm probably not missing too much. Dio will pop up at some point and remind us of back when JJBA actually didn't suck due to Araki's increasing penchant for weirdness over...pretty much anything else.

Now Gintama, on the other hand...belly laughs *and* a healthy dose of self-awareness and self-deprecation. Something I always appreciated about the GGG of old.

Gintama also had some of the coolest melee action in anime, period. JJBA? Not so much. Lots of weird cool tricks and martial arts magic, but good old fashioned close quarters hack 'n' slash? Minimal.

Gintama also had the best part of JJBA, being Dio (Koyasu Takehito), just as a much more nuanced character pulling the strings of revolution off-screen, and only making an appearance when absolutely necessary. But oh, when he did, it was amazing. Gintama knew how and when to deploy its big weapons; JJBA is in comparison just a barrage of music references and fucking bonkers character abilities. Sure, they were sometimes cleverly used, but the overall nature of JJBA is still an undeniable mess.

I don't think I need to say which of the two PoE more resembles right now.

Be more like Gintama, PoE, and less like Jojo's Bizarre Adventure.