Huge Lag Spikes In POE Only

i constantly (10-20 times per hour) get crazy lag spikes. in maps, in hideout, everywhere. everything freezes, my ping goes up to anywhere from 10,000ms to 80,000ms. but i very rarely get a disconnect error. i just get a death screen after 30 or so seconds lmao. my discord calls dont even stutter during this.

ive read that you get disconnected at 6000ms. i dont. so im stumped. my client must still be communicating with the servers right?
i can still interact with the client perfectly fine, but cant move or use skills, and all monsters are frozen.

if it matters, i have shitty satellite internet. nothing to be done about it. 40ms but unstable. when i play other games i disconnect for 1 second every now and then. so why does it last a full minute sometimes with poe?

the common recommendations are "restart your router, update drivers, contact isp" but it's only path of exile doing this.

any thoughts? i would just like to have fun playing this game again :)
been happening for 2 leagues now