[guide] How to be unhappy in PoE and unpleasant in the forum

Decide on a single, highly constrictive way you're going to play the game. Solo self-found is a good option, hardcore is a bonus. You can also be the anti-meta elitist: never, ever play strong builds and snort with disdain at anything capable of managing endgame content at a reasonable pace. Super tanks with no damage are somewhat acceptable but you don't like the 'super tank' part. Everyone should die and suffer.

Step two: play the hell out of your selected style until you can no longer stand it and decide the game is shit. Never, ever try anything else. Don't take breaks from PoE, this is unthinkable. Do not despair, you have merely finished PoE's earlygame and now it's time to turn to its true endgame: the forum.

It is important to construct a powerful forum persona so you're taken seriously. If you have a lot of high-leveled and well-geared characters, make your profile public. If you don't have at least one high-leveled HC character to display in the profile, you should better have a lot of mirror gear! The other option is to make your profile private and tune up your forum arrogance, implying your builds are so incredibly broken and powerful, you don't want anyone to see them. Write short, sarcastic and arrogant comments in various gameplay and guide threads.

Don't worry if you don't know what you're talking about, just copy what Havoc, Mathil or Ghudda said. Speaking of which, any casual reference to them will increase your forum respect and power. You can try practicing: 'pfft, Mathil build - you're so original bro!' - 'I dropped Skyforths while doing Uber and I'm wondering whether to do a Ghudda flaskinator or a Mathil winquisitor but perhaps I'll just pull a HvCtron'. The build names don't have to make any sense, people will just assume they don't know something you know.

- the humble brag: I'm actually pretty casual, didn't do Core until day 7 of the new temp HC league. Grindzor was doing it at day 3 but I had a rough week at work and had to practice karate and my girlfriend returned from her work trip, so you know how it is. Well, I did double -max Core last league so I guess I can just relax and have fun in this one.

- the uber elite: copy the build everyone is complaining the most about in the forum, level it to eighty-something and than start explaining how broken it is and why it should be removed from the game. 'Yeah bro, I played it but it was too strong so I got bored, it should be nerfed'.

- the casual item link: insinuate your most prized possessions as casual links in any discussions. 'Oh, my CwdT setup? Here you go: *links corrupted +1 gem level Skyforths*'. Or you could just link your headhunter in all threads even if it's irrelevant (*cough* I_N...). Rule of thumb: link items worth at least 50 exalts. If it's a HC item, it can be five times cheaper.

- don't have any items to casual-link? Be a Budget Elite. Explain the game is too easy and the only way to actually challenge yourself is to play with the shittiest items and builds possible.


Now, all this is well and good as far as establishing forum cred goes, but that's just the beginning. Having explored more than 5% of PoE's potential and having no desire to try something new, you are bored and unhappy. By all accounts there are players who are still enjoying themselves and this is simply unacceptable - they must suffer! All you have to do is attack their playing style or build. It doesn't have to be well-grounded or reasonable, just throw in a few key words like 'OP', 'not fun' and 'abusing' and you'll be fine. People stop thinking rationally when they perceive their style to be endangered and will always rise to the bait. Don't worry, here are the quick and easy tips:

- check Havoc's build and say the mechanics, skills and/or items he's using must be nerfed. This is an excellent technique and you'll get to gloat and say 'I told you so' because if Havoc's using it, it will indeed be nerfed at some point. This is a great way to build your forum reputation.

- check the temp league ladders and uber services and start generating threads and posts about builds used there. Remember: quantity over quality!

- if you can't be bothered to talk about specific builds, you can aim at general playing styles and explain how everyone should play only one way. This is a foolproof method, it always works and you have a rich choice of outrageous demands. Just defend your playing style of choice and attack everyone else's. Playing solo self-found? Trading should be removed. Enjoy trading? Trading should be harder. Never did Uber in your life? Any build that does Uber should be nerfed. You think doing two maps per hour is a good pace? Nerf anything that deals decent damage. Want to hit 100 without risk or effort? Remove SC death penalty. You're a masochist? Increase SC death penalty.

btw you're among the people I respect the most in the entire forum, so I guess you're a Budget Elite lvl 100 :P

Seriously - good job, I think most long term forum goers can recognize themselves somewhere in there :)