The nameless poem

how many of them, it´s hard to say
died to orders, that we obey
the new day, just few will see
world dressed in gray, always will be
darkness now free, our hearts quiet
as the people flee, we watch the riot

with fresh blood on her noble hands
our queen started terrifying dance
on her slaves, she kindly smiles
for every step, another dies
as she moves her eyes, upon us
we fools began thing, did we chose wise?

under the wings of blood queen
hanged on strinks in nightmerish dream
trying to scream, our twisted feelings
quilty from sins, whitch dont have meaning
heart still beating, but mind insane
in black falling, our lives in vain

K so this is the poem that i did piece by piece in the school when i was bored.
I am not an english, as you may have recognized from some errors, here and there. I just wanted to know if this has any really major gramatical holes or errors, because i really can´t figure that out myself. Any criticism is welcomed, since main reason of this is my effort to improve my english while combinig it with something i like- poetry and path of exile. (Please ignore the absulute absence of order in making commas and dots. I just did them in a way i thing it´s easiest to read, so don´t lynch me for that pls:) )
Last edited by Venrera_Faltis on Jun 14, 2016, 2:39:55 PM
Last bumped on Mar 29, 2016, 3:34:13 PM

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