(very WIP) unnamed ot fiction

Szyderca had woken up quickly, with the sun at the top of the sky. He quickly put on his clothes, but they felt sticky the whole day after an unlucky accident with an excessively sweet tea and a slapdash movement.
Hastily leaving his abode, Szyderca checked his clock. It was barely eight o' clock! He had plenty of time, and felt silly for his unnecessary hurry. What did he have to do, in the first place? Not much, to be honest. But the good speeches happened early, and Szyderca didn't want to just read the logs. Besides, his salary was per hour. The noblemen appreciated humor, and jesters were accordingly paid. Having now dressed again and put on his cosmetics, Szyderca strutted carelessly to the royal tower.

Standing at the iron gates of the spire, the jester was stopped by a reptilian shout.
“Halt!” Said Stygian_Doll, juvenile markswoman of the Royal Guard. Although she was one of the best archers out there, Szyderca was sure she'd be selling lettuce on the market were it not for her sister's favour.
“What gives?” Asked Szyderca on his usual mischevious tone.
“Fierce argument going on in there. I've got orders to not let anyone in.” She replied cut and dry.
“I'll give you a whole jar of candies if you let me in.” Offered he while shaking a jar about the size of his head.
“Move on, jester. Nothing happened here.” It was hard to understand she with her mouth full of lollipops says, but a muffled “thanks” could be heard.

Szyderca dodged a bottle of wine as he got in, barely avoiding to ruin another suit.
“Chardonnay '88, what a waste.” He inevitably thought of Hardlicker as muttered those words.
“The hell is going on here?” Said Szyderca expecting someone to answer.
“Szyderca! You couldn't have come at a worse moment. Everyone's went bonkers!” Fire_Kid, the royal footrest, had crawled out of under a table.
“Why?” Asked the jester while hiding a nearby cupcake under his hat.
“Moon suddenly disappeared! Everyone's fighting over the throne.” Fire_Kid didn't sound very aware of what he just said.
“Just like that? No abdication or anything?” Szyderca tried to sound calm, but he was itching to see the conflict.
“Nope. Wait, how did you get in?” Fire_Kid was never a fast thinker.
“I'll tell you on your birthday.” Szyderca mocked the footrest.
“Aw, come on man! I wont tell anyone!” He said while making a ridiculous sad puppy face.
“Stygian_Doll wont be very happy knowing her sister is dating a footrest...” Replied Szyderca on a menacing tone.
“Fine, dude. I'll be on my way.” So he crawled back under a table.