Revenge of the Mooned (with Part 10!)

I stood in the doorway just ogling my new office. I finally moved out of the shithole office out by the industrial park. Peachii owned this place too, but had never told me about it for some reason. But now I finally had a good size bank account after the last job and I splurged on myself for once. I had a new clean set of clothes and comfortable shoes. That in itself was worth it! I still wore my old trench coat. Some habits are harder to give up than others. I went to my shiny new desk and happily fell back in the new comfortable chair and spun around. I stopped the chair so I could look out the non-boarded up windows and enjoy the view.
But everything came crashing down. I could see Inexium standing below, leaning up against a lamppost. He was looking directly at me. This wasn't going to be my day after all. I sat there looking down at him and he back up at me. I knew he could see me too. The windows were spotless. I thought about letting the shade down, but it wouldn't make a difference.
Instead I just spun the chair back to the desk and stared at the phone. It rang as if on cue. I just continued staring at it. I had come to hate telephones. I never get good news from them. It kept ringing and I swore under my breath. I opened the bottom draw of the desk and took out my bottle of water. Bex had threaten to kill me if I didn't change my diet and give up the booze. It was a toss up. Die by enjoying the things that made me happy, or die horribly by Bex going through with her threat. I decided for once that maybe I should give clean living a chance.
I opened the bottle and stared at the phone some more. It finally stopped ringing and I sighed. I drank about half the bottle and put the rest back. I was feeling better physically. It helped that no one had bludgeoned me recently and my body had finally had time to recover. But that was going to change again. Fucking life! The phone started ringing again and I reached for it. Might as well get it over with.
“What?” I asked.
“Does it ever occur to you to answer the phone with a hello?” it was Daemon.
“No. 'What' is a viable request because I knew it was going to be you.” I lied.
“Why did I suddenly smell bullshit?” He asked sweetly and I laughed.
“Listen. That's my lie and I'm sticking to it!” I exclaimed and I could hear him chuckle on the other end. The quality of the sound though was full of static and hisses. He was somewhere remote.
“Anyway Moon, I got a job for you. You'll love it.” He lied. I was going to use the same bullshit joke on him, but he continued, “Victor Doom has asked me to call you and see if you would mind collecting something for him.”
“Doom asked for me?” I asked in disbelief. “that blow hard hates my guts.”
“No, Victor Doom. Your thinking of Vincent Doom. And yeah, Vincent really hates you. Told me about Vancouver.” He sounded like he thought it was funny.
“Oh right!” I slapped my forehead. “So who is Victor Doom then?” The name didn't ring a bell.
“He and Pneuma have that import export business out of New York, Aruba and Sarn.” He explained and I got a cold feeling in my gut. Sarn was in Wraeclast and I really didn't ever want to return there again. I had way too many enemies there. Not that I didn't have a lot of enemies here too. I looked out the window, but Inexium was gone. That didn't make feel any better.
I finally got Whale and the Fire kid of my back and now Inexium shows up. I doubted Lachdanan was behind this. He finally got married and she was making his life a living hell from what I heard. Whale had gone and started doing stand up comedy and had a pretty solid cult following. Fire Kid had started a cult and was doing alright scamming rich kids out of their inheritances.
No, someone else was out there determined to make my life a living hell. But who? The list was large and I conceded that I might even know every name on it. Some people have a talent for making friends. I have a talent for making people want to abuse me. And thanks to the stupidity unleashed on the world, I let them.
“Moon?” Daemon was still there. I had let my mind drift off and snapped back to reality, not that I enjoyed it here.
“What?” I answered.
“Did you hear anything I just said?” He asked. I could picture him sitting at his god awful desk with that horrible wallpaper that he just had to have. I think he did it on purpose to make sure any visitors never wanted to return.
“Something about Doom wanting me to find something.” I replied. I could hear the even over the crappy connection the heavy sigh. “Ah, Alex. Where are you/” I asked.
“Outer space I think.” Came his reply and I smiled. Anyone else and that was a bad joke. I knew better and went back to the window to look up at the sky.
“So what's the job?” I still needed clients if I was going to keep this place.
“Really Moon?” The scorn was tangible, “I just spent the last five minutes telling you what the mother fucking job was!” He sounded angry and I had never heard him this way before! I laughed. I had finally got to him!
“Alright Alex. I'm sure someone else will fill me in after I come to.” I said and hung up the phone. It started ringing again, but I got up and went to the closet and pushed the secret back panel out of the way to the bottle of bourbon I had hidden there. Only I found a note instead.
“Next time it will be a bomb.” It read. There was no name, but none was needed. Some people get lucky and have a guardian angel watching over them. I got a guardian of angel of death watching over me. I put the note back and closed the panel. I wish someone would shoot me now and get it over with.
I decided that if I was going to take on a job, I might as well get started. I went back to the desk and grabbed the rest of the water and a fresh bottle of aspirin. I was pretty sure I was going to need it.

I got outside and looked both ways. No rain, no Cronk in a cab, no sign of where Inexium went to. I felt disappointed again, but headed out anyway. Moonlight33's place was nearby and I really could use a beer. I didn't know what it was with the 33. Moonlight was an older woman, but still looked in her twenties. I liked her place and she pretended to have a soft spot for me too. I knew it was an act, but I take what I can get.
I opened the door and left the smell of the food wash over me. I closed my eyes for a moment and took it all in. When I opened them again I could see Cronk at the bar and an extra beer next to him with an open seat. Who was I to say no?
“Cronk.” I said by way of greeting sitting on the stool. He kept watching the game on the set. I reached for the beer, but his large mitt stopped me short.
“Not until you pay me back for the last one.” He snarled. I sighed and took out my wallet. It still felt alien to me having money. I slapped the twenty on the bar and Moonlight snatched it way just as quick and examined it in the light.
“Really?” I snapped. “You don't trust me?” She put the bill away and gave Cronk a look. He pushed the beer closer to me.
“Oh I trust you Moon. Trust you to run out on your tab again!” She was even more attractive with the flush of rage.
“I did not run out. If you care to remember, I was dragged out of here by Billy Oatmeal and his goons.” I tried to do the one eyebrow trick, but it ended badly again. I don't know why I don't give up trying that one.
“They paid their bill!” She snapped back and went back into the kitchen. I thought I could see BaconRulez, but the door swung shut before I got a good look.
“Am I missing something? I asked Cronk, but he kept ignoring me. I glanced up to the game and saw why. Seattle was playing San Fran. Shit! I forgot it was even football season! Moonlight reappeared and put a seafood sampler in front of me. Again I never order anything, but I was getting use to this and I while I like seafood, I wanted a burger. One of BaconRulez's specials. He put chopped bacon inside the patty and in the pepperjack cheese. Then he topped it with thick naturally cured and smoked bacon. And to finish it all off, he used bacon to enhance the special bacon spread he put on the bacon infused roll.
I took a pull from my beer and without looking away from the set, Cronk took one of the shrimp, dipped it the cocktail sauce and ate it. I admired this fete. There had been no stumbling or anything. Got the shrimp right by the tail and right into the sauce. He started to do it again, but as I love shrimp more than the rest of the platters offerings, I jammed the fork into his hand. That got his attention!
“What the fuck Moon!” He yelled and took the fork out of his hand. His eyes told the story. He wanted to give me back the fork in a most unpleasant manner, but Moonlight came over to see what was happening.
“If I said get out, would you leave peacefully.” She said between clenched teeth. I smiled and nodded. “Well you don't have too.” She suddenly smiled and I got nervous. I swiveled around in my seat and there was Billy and his goons again.
“Hi Moon.” He smiled and I cringed.
“Still upset about being shot?” I asked and he nodded. I looked down for a moment. “Can you at least wait to hurt me until outside?” He genuinely looked shocked. But it wasn't because I was being nice. Turned out he had been shot again.
“Ow ow ow!” he screamed jumping up down. His goons didn't know what was happening and looked lost. That was until they each took a dart to the neck and dropped quickly. Oatmeal had got his in the ass and it gave him time to pull the dart out before collapsing. Behind them was Inexium with a weird looking gun. He waved at me and I shrugged and got off of my seat. I turned to Moonlight and asked how much I owed her. She smiled and shot me with another dart gun!
“Don't worry Moon, I'll take it from your wallet.” She said and I looked to Cronk as I started my slow slide to the floor, but he was watching the game again and eating the rest of my shrimp!

I came to quickly and with a start! I was truly shocked! Whatever they hit me with had no side effects! I felt great and full of energy! I smiled and jumped to get to my feet and fell face forward. I had almost zero control over my body. My head did slowed my fall by hitting the table, but it didn't stop me. It did however trip the table over and the hot coffee that had been waiting on it. I knew it was coffee from the smell and I knew it was hot because it was burning the back of my head.
“I swear someday I will learn!” I screamed and this time slowly pushed myself up off of the floor and righted the table. There were napkins on the floor too and I picked them up to wipe the coffee from my head. I looked and was glad there wasn't any blood mixed with it. Just felt like there should be.
I looked around, but I was alone. The room was a calming shade of blue and with a tasteful lamp tucked in the corner. The seat I had been in was a tasteful wicker chair with a solid color cushion. The table I knocked over was also tasteful, but not fancy. The coffee had been from Starbucks. That at least made me feel better. I hated their burnt offerings they called coffee.
The place all together was well done. I first thought it must be Lachdanan again, but no. This place was done tastefully on a budget, no over the top flashes of obscene wealth. It smelled of a woman's touch. That brought my head back around to Moonlight33. 33? I wonder if she and Nightmare belonged to the same organization? I frowned and looked out the window. I recognized where I was. Fucking Wraeclast! I shook my head and swore I would punch the first person I saw right in the face!
“Well good morning Mr. Moon.” My God! It was Bunnu. I thought for a moment, nodded to myself and threw the punch. I had sworn an oath. And a deal is a deal. Not that it landed. I should have done more research on her when I was suppose to get a ring back from her. Then I might have known about the black belt in Judo!
“Hi Bunnu.” I replied from the corner of the room where she had thrown me like a rag doll. “Need something?” I asked sweetly. I was glad to see her smile.
“Not me, Mr. Moon.” She said in the wonderful deep voice of hers. “But Victor wants you to do something for him.” I looked at her from the floor before attempting to get up gracefully. I failed badly as usual, but I did finally get to my feet.
“Doom? I thought you and Ongz?” I swayed a little bit, unable to quite find my center of balance. She just laughed.
“Heavens no Mr. Moon. Ongz and I are just friends.” She said.
“And Doom?” I inquired. I was pretty sure I knew the answer, but put it out there anyway.
“No Mr. Moon. Victor and I have a business arrangement and nothing more.” She walked to the patio. Her movements were fluid and elegant. I wish I could say the same for me. My head was pounding now and I reached into my coat and found the aspirin. Finally I had remembered to bring them with me! I got the top off and threw several into my mouth and looked around for a glass of something to wash them down with.
I turned around again quickly and back again! I couldn't see anything to drink! The aspirin were dissolving on my tongue and I hated that taste! I hurried to follow Bunnu and saw she was holding a glass of something. I motioned repeatedly to her and she sighed and held it out to me. I threw half the contents into my mouth and wish I hadn't. I hate gin! And it mixed with the remains of the aspirin still stuck in my mouth, it was making me gag!
I handed the glass with the remainder of her drink back to her. She took the glass from my hand, but in one smooth motion threw the contents out into the yard. While I was trying to recover, I saw her replace the glass with a fresh one and pour herself another drink. Exhausted from the retching, I plopped in one of her deck chairs and looked around. She had a very nice place. Fairly screamed vacation home. She returned and sat across from me looking rich and beautiful. I let out another heavy sigh.
“I.” I had to stop. I had more aspirin work its way out of the back of my throat and make me choke again. I held up my hand to indicate that I had more to say as I looked down. Even her tile was beautiful! Daemon would truly hate this place! Finally I was able to start again. The entire time she simply sat there watching me.
“I'm surprised Victor didn't meet me personally.” my voice was still weak from that disgusting crap I just forced down it. I couldn't have looked less attractive making all the sour faces after just torturing myself.
“He's busy.” was all she said.
“And so you are here to tell me what he wants?” I asked. I tried to stare her down, but my eyes were still watering from the strain of recovering from the aspirin.
“No Mr. Moon. I am here only to enjoy the weather. I suggest you run along now and ask Victor yourself. He's at his office in Sarn. You can't miss it.” She had dismissed me and continued sitting there swinging one leg slowly while nursing her gin. I closed my eyes briefly and asked her which way was Sarn. She simply pointed North.
“Why is it when ever I ask anyone about where to go on this miserable continent, they always point North?” I demanded , but she just smiled and I gave up. I slowly got up from the table, but I now had better control and I showed myself out.

The road to Sarn was recently repaved and smooth. A lot of the roads in wraeclast were fairly new, but there were no cars. Only wagons pulled by horses or oxen. It was a very strange land. I came around one bend to find a flock of weird looking birds. They weren't afraid of me at all and I was going to walk past them, but the largest suddenly charged me and butt his head into me! I taken back to say the least!
The rest of the flock soon followed his lead and ran right at me! I would have been scared or maybe dead if they had been larger, but they barely reached my shins. I punted the closest one thirty yards and was going to kick another one, but they stopped and wandered off like I wasn't even there! I really hated this fucking place! I can only imagine what it must have been like in the past!
I continued on my way. What's next? A horde of monkeys flinging crap? I asked myself, but was afraid to say it out loud. Life and me had an understanding. Every time I thought it couldn't possibly fuck with me anymore, it would find a new low.
As it happened, nothing else happened on the road. I reached the Sarn city limits and stopped to take it in. Interspersed with the few highrises were lots of ruins from a bygone era. Very Roman or Greek like. I couldn't stand these types of places. Stuck in the past and still wanting to be in the present. I say fucking choose one or the other. Modern concrete and steel builds next to old brick and mortar is like stripes pants with argyle socks. I lowered my head and shook it back in forth.
“What's a matter Moon? Got something better to do?” I knew the voice and knew the gun in my back was real.
“Bambi, can you just go away?” I pleaded. I knew the answer and took a long breath and added, “Which way.”
“Take the next left and then up two streets.” He said and I started walking. At least he didn't club me over the head! “I got to hand it to you Moon. You got a lot of balls coming back here.”
“I would stayed away, but I don't seem to have a say in the matter. Or any matters now that I think about it.” I said. It was sad, I really needed to consider retiring if I made out of this alive.
“Nice story, but you aren't going to have chance to get your grubby little paws on my copy of the Telling.” He sounded very confident.
“Huh?” I replied.
“What?” He asked.
“No I asked you first.” I said getting to the end of the second street. I was waiting for him to tell me where to go next.
“No, you made a sound and I asked what you were saying.” I hoped he might have been getting a little irate, but his voice didn't show it.
“I said 'huh'. It means what. Thought you would have known that.” I left it hanging there expecting him to get angry.
“Oh, sorry. I really didn't hear what you had said.” He answered without any heat. “But I said my copy of the Telling is mine and you can forget about stealing it.” I stood there on the corner watching Solwitch trying to sneak up on us and sighed.
“Bambi, I'm here because Doom wants me for some reason. Is it your copy of.., the Telling? Really? Stupid name. Anyway I don't know yet and Solwitch is behind you.” I said smiling.
“Nice try Moon, but I'm not going to fall for that old one.” He said as Solwitch hit him over the head with his gun. “Ow!” He screamed holding his head. Solwitch looked confused. BMBI had failed to fall unconscious to the ground and now was pissed.
“You might want to run now Sol.” I said helpfully. His eyes got wide and he took off running.
“We're not through Moon!” BMBI yelled looking at me, but I knew he was going to go after the rapidly departing Solwitch. “And stop calling me Bambi!” I was right. He sprinted after Solwitch and I just stood there. I didn't even feel like laughing this time. Retirement was sounding better and better. I looked around and headed back down the street I had just gone up.
Silly me. I got to the same starting point when Pavshaus met me with a gun.
“What you want this time Moon?” He sneered.
“A steak would be nice. Maybe a place on the beach and a bucket of ice cold beer and a BaconRulez special.” I said wishfully.
“Move it.” He said waving the gun towards the same fucking street I just came from.
“Could you just shoot me instead?” I asked and he let out a barking laugh and shook his head.
“Always with the come backs. At least you're good at something.” He said and waved the gun again. But seriously, I was thinking that getting shot might be an improvement. I took yet another deep breath and let it out slowly and started back up the street.
“Pav, got any idea what Doom wants to see me for?” I thought it couldn't hurt to ask. Pavshaus on the other hand reacted badly.
“Doom sent for you?” He asked. The terror in his voice did nothing to help me feel any better.
“Yes Doom sent for me and not very nicely either.” I said, but Pavshaus was now running back down the street and turned the next corner and was out of sight. I looked up the street and then down again. God must hate me, I said to myself as I started yet again down the hill towards the main road. I got the bottom and held my hands up.
'I surrender!” I yelled. I kept them up and looked around. No one. I put them down again and headed into the city proper. Bunnu said I could find Doom's office with no problem. But I was lost, so to speak. I looked up and down the streets and saw nothing that stood out. Well, might has well head towards the center of the city and see what was there.
I got to the center and looked around. It was an open park of sorts. There were a few scattered ruins surrounded by very new looking buildings. But which one is Doom's? I sighed and sat down on a ruin.
“Took you long enough Moon.” It was Doom and he was sitting on a bench with his back to me.
“Could have been here sooner if you knew how to give directions.” I said nicely.
“Follow me.” He said ignoring my insult. I got up and followed into the most run down looking building on the square surrounding the park. I was underwhelmed to say the least. Doom was wearing a very expensive suit with an equally expensive haircut and his watch looked to be solid gold. It didn't make sense, unless he saved all of his money to look good.

Doom's office was rather spartan. One small desk with a phone on it and two chairs. Neither of which looked comfortable. The walls were bare and the window looked out onto a brick wall of an old ruin.
“Nice place Victor.” I said and smiled. He just went behind the desk and sat in the chair.
“If I didn't require your special talent Moon, I would have had you killed for failing to be amusing.” He said it quietly, but he was deadly serious. That just made me smile more.
“But you do and it's going to cost you.” I sat in the other chair and wish I hadn't. The studs were bare and the seat had a crack in it that pinched my thigh as soon as I shifted my weight.
“Spare me the bit about your fee plus expenses.” He leaned back and put his feet up on the desk. I could hear something creaking. I figured his chair had only a few seconds left.
“How about I don't. My fee has been adjusted for inflation and my expenses are very much your concern. Either that, or you can fuck off.” It was a calculated risk, but his chair snapped and he hit the floor as his feet went straight up in the air! To his credit he didn't look upset. He simply opened the window and threw the remains of the chair out of it.
“Moon, I don't care for you. But you are effective. So let's get down to business. He started trying to open the top drawer of the desk, but it was stuck shut. Seemingly nonplussed, he left the room and I heard him opened a door in another room and knock some junk around none to gently. I turned in my chair and got pinched again for my effort! But I almost jumped up to defend myself! He came back in the room with a large battleaxe and proceeded to open the drawer with a vengeance.
I was going to sit back again, but thought better of it. I got up and moved the chair to the window and heaved it out too. He never looked up from going through the remains of the desk. I went and leaned up against the wall near the door. I was hoping it was safer here. He must have finally found what he was looking for and strode past me into the other room.
“Coming?” He called from the stairway. I looked around the office and saw one of the legs of the desk was still intact. I walked over and kicked it so that it snapped. I smiled to myself and left the room.
He lead me out of the building and up the street to a much nicer place. There was a doorman I didn't know that saluted as Doom never broke stride. At the elevator there was another lackey holding the doors open and he saluted too as the elevator doors shut. I never saw Doom touch a button, but the elevator started moving up and when it stopped the doors opened to a spacious well decorated office with a beautiful view of the city. I whistled as he went behind the large and luxurious desk and sat down in a large leather chair. He motioned for me to sit too.
“Really nice place Doom.” I exclaimed. “Sure beats your other shitty office.”
“That wasn't my office.” He said taking out the paper he found in the ruined desk.
“Mind if I ask who's it was?” I ventured.
He looked up from the paper and without a trace of humor replied. “That's Arpgfan's office and building.” I nodded my head and was impressed.
“So what were you looking for?” I was trying to get a better look at the paper, but he folded it again and put it back in his pocket.
“Nothing important to your assignment.” He gaze was devoid of, of what?
“You're not a robot by any chance are you?” I asked and he turned a little bit red and his eyes narrowed. “You should meet Bex.”
“Very dangerous woman. Maybe GGG's most effective agent. Physically anyway.” He said and sat back in his chair with his hands in front of him. His finger tips touching to form the classic power pyramid structure his type think makes them look smarter. But I was getting tired of this run around and got up. “Going somewhere Moon?”
“If you want to waste my time, we can continue this petty penis power game of yours at the nearest bar.” I said and his expression never changed. I waited another moment and sighed, turned and headed towards the elevator.
“Ever hear of the Elders Counsel?” He finally asked and I turned around.
“I'm going to venture a guess that it is another ancient Wraeclast legend, but you thinks its real and want me to find it. Right?” I let the sarcasm be out front and center, but he never flinched.
“No Moon. The Counsel are the secret rulers of Wraeclast and they are very real and very close. I know each and every member.” He stated.
“Because you are one?” I asked and he nodded. “And?”
“There has been a coup of sorts. Our leader, Chris the Wilson has been away for sometime taking care of his pet project. I believe you already know of them. The GGG.” He still had the monotone inflection that was beginning to grate on my nerves.
“And.” I tried again.
“Someone is trying to prevent us from taking Wraeclast out of the shadows and making it the new Atlantis. We need you to indentify this person so we can stop them from interfering.” he said and sneezed. For a moment I had begun to believe he truly was a robot, but he suddenly looked very human.
“You want to expose Wraeclast to the rest of the world?” I asked wide eyed.
“Do you know how much money Atlantis makes from the rich and powerful living there and more from the filthy tourists. Wraeclast could be a thousand times as popular and rich!” He had pulled himself together from the sneeze, but now was on a rant. “We could offer banks and corporations all kinds of breaks for a piece of the action! But Chris had wanted to ease us into the mainstream. Not upset the balance he always said. Well he's an absentee landlord and we are talking this place live bitch!”
“So who's trying to stop you and why.” I asked and that took the steam out of his sails. He sat back again and did the thing with his hands. Must have practiced until it was muscle memory.
“That's why we need your special talent Moon. You may suck at many things, but you always seem to find what you are looking for.” He said. I guess it was a compliment.
“Is Pnuma part of this counsel?” I could see the question bothered him.
“Pnuma is currently in Aruba and trying to set up more meeting with the right people.” He answered, but his body language had changed for the worse.
“You don't trust him do you?” I asked with a wick grin.
“He is not the mole Mr. Moon. He has just as much at stake, but yes. I don't trust him. The man likes to live,” He paused, “lavishly.” I farrowed my brow. I clearly didn't understand.
“And?” I could help my tone rising.
“I don't care for his zest for life Moon. It annoys me.” He said and I nodded and heard the elevator arrive. I took my leave and it still felt weird having the elevator stop at the right floor without hitting any buttons. The doors opened and I was going to ask the lackey some questions, but he and the doorman were nowhere to be seen. Retirement! I kept saying to myself. Just fucking retire! Oh well, I set off for the nearest bar. I needed a drink and information. I got lucky and saw a restaurant that had a open patio seating. I wasn't so sure about the name of the place, The Hornedrat. But any port in a storm. I went in and was promptly seated. I sat back and watched the other customers. I was happy not to see anyone I knew.

After lunch, I walked down the street and I could see in the reflection of a window my followers trying hard not to notice each other. I actually felt pretty good that the moment as The Hornedrat had a nice menu and the cook didn't ruin the delicate filet of Sole. I stopped for a moment to work a piece of food out of my teeth in another window's reflection and I had to stifle a laugh as they scattered trying to find a new hiding places! This was going to be fun.
But then I had another thought. Life wouldn't be that nice to me! I was going to suffer greatly sometime in the future for the entertainment I was enjoying currently. I brightened up. At least I could savor it for now. I started back up the street and wondered which way I should go. Vakirauta's place was miles away and I didn't feel like walking that distance. The waiter told me that he heard of a strange man named Daemon had been seen near Oak's Grove. A small town to the North. Might as well try there as anywhere.
I set off and kept a good pace. I had only banged me head recently and I felt stronger for a change. I wondered how retirement would make me feel. I might have to start lifting to work off the excess energy! Nah. Fuck that. I was going to find a nice cottage by the beach and wait for the waves to slowly wash me out to sea. If death wanted me, I didn't want to piss it off. I wanted it to bask in the glow of a beautiful sunset and an relax with a cold brew before we leave. Who the fuck was I kidding? Death was going to be a jerk and I was not going to like it when it happened!
Back in my normal dark and sullen mood I entered the town and started asking about Alex. I got the same “Sorry, I don't speak English.” in perfect English from everyone. I wish I hadn't expected it, but I did. I looked to make sure I still had my tails. Yup, still there. I decided to liven things up and and started rapidly going in and out of stores. Walking in a door and spinning right back out again and watching them try and hide!
But this was getting old fast. Solwitch and BMBI were both trying to follow me without the other noticing. Pavshaus was following BMBI and why Wittgenstein was following Pavshaus was beyond me. It reminded me of one of Ocylix's sophomoric attempts at making a parody of the Airplane movies. But they already were a parody and making movies that make fun of movies that made fun of other movies just plain falls flat. How he won best director for that shit was beyond me.
I slipped inside a backdoor and hurried to the front door. I waved to the shopkeeper who waved back, but looked confused. I knew just what he was feeling. I saw Wittgenstein looking around the corner that Pavhaus had just turned. I walked right past him, across the street, into another store and he never saw me! I again went straight to the store's back door and took off running for the woods.
I got to the tree line and laid down. From here I could watch the circus safely. I wanted to laugh, but I kept quiet. No noise to give away my position. I caught sight of BMBI running across the street into the open air restaurant and ducking behind the bar while the bartender just looked at him. Solwitch tried to run across the street too, but he tripped and fell flat on his face. Pavshaus saw this and quickly ducked back into the store and ran over Wittgenstein! I just shook my head in disbelief.
Then what do I see coming up the road? It was Lachdanan and Hardlicker! They were arguing and waving guns in each others faces like they were West Coast and East coast rappers! I decided that maybe it was time for me to really make myself scarce and fade away before things got too hot! I eased myself down behind a rise and on all fours crawled away. Its wasn't pretty, and I prayed no one was watching me. But I stopped. My curiosity had the better of me and I looked around and saw a good tree to get up into and watch the next act unfold from a safe distance.
I got as high as I could without getting too exposed and watched as Lachdanan and Hardlicker got to the middle of the little town and finally noticed everyone else. They panicked! Each started shooting in every direction! I almost fell out of the tree laughing! Solwitch did a great dive through a window to escape and then dove back through again as the shopkeeper started shooting at him! BMBI had a small machine pistol and it jammed on the first shot and he got wided eyed and ducked just in time. His first shot had made Hardlicker and Lachdanan both turned on him. The bottles were exploding as the bullets riddled the place and the poor bartender was just standing there with a shocked expression on his face until BMBI yanked him down. He must have cleared the jam as he started firing wildly over the top of the bar without looking where he was aiming!
Pavshaus was smarter and tried to escape out the back of one of the shops and head towards the tree line too, but Wittgenstein must have been spooked by all the gun fire and emptied his clip in his direction. All the rounds hit into the ground in front of him and Pavhaus did this hilarious dance waving his arms everywhere and ran back into the shop! I was trying not to piss myself now and the tears were making it hard to watch more of this. But someone made up my mind for me when several errant rounds whizzed past my head!
I was going to make a run for it and started to climb down, but the gunshots ceased. I was hanging from a branch ready to drop to the ground and had to make up my mind to continue the drop, or pull myself back up. I decided to go back up, but I'm not in the greatest shape anymore and it took a couple of minutes. Once I got back into my position, I looked down the main street and couldn't see anyone! Shit! Maybe I should have ran for it! But then I heard the yelling and sounds of breaking glass. I peered closer and thought I saw something. Then I thought I saw another something!
The sound of more breaking glass and the yelling finally sunk in. They had run out of ammo and were now throwing rocks at each other! It was hard to tell who was on whose side. But it had grown to involving the entire town. I watched as one of the shopkeepers ran out to grab more rocks. He bobbed and weaved and hurried back to his side with an arm load. Then Wittgenstein tried to do the same thing, but got hit several times and screamed as he ran back to the safety of the store! It really was too much! I had to leave. My ribs simply couldn't take anymore of it!
Once down from the tree, I got up and brushed myself off and felt safe simply walking away. No one had any bullets left to threaten me with. I turned around and Inexium was wiping tears from his eyes, but his gun was steady and pointed at me.
“I think I may have pissed myself.” He said and I laughed.
“Me too! Fucking great wasn't it?” I answered and waited. He waved the gun towards the road and I complied and started walking.
“I almost want to go and shoot them just as a prank.” He said between breaths. His ribs must hurt as much as mine!
“While I think that maybe the single greatest thing I wish I could ever see, can we get this over with instead. I want to retire once this is all over.” I pleaded and he had recovered enough to nod in agreement.
“Head North Moon.” He said.
“No shit.” I said under my breath.
“What was that?” He asked.
“Nothing Inexium. Nothing important anyways.” I said.

Inexium showed me into a nondescript house on near the wharf jutting out into the sea. It was eerie having such a large area look so desolate. I reached the door and Inexium waved to me to open the door and go in.
“Later Moon.” He said.
“Not coming in?” I asked. We had killed the time walking to this place going over the shootout. It was a good laugh and twice we had to stop because we had been laughing too hard.
“Paid to make sure you made it here. Nothing more.” He answered and made for the road. I paused with my hand the knob.
“Hey Inexium! Why the hide and seek earlier?” I called out to him and he stopped and smiled.
“Ever see Scream?” He said, but I shook my head no. “Well never mind then. The joke isn't funny if you don't know that movie.” And with that he waved again and headed North. I looked down at the knob in my hand and wondered if I could just walk away and retire right then and there. I turned the knob and went in.
The place was darkened, but not terribly so. It was also nice and cool after the long walk. I looked around, but didn't see anyone. I decided this was going nowhere fast and said fuck it. I went into the kitchen and opened the fridge. The thing was packed! Mostly with take out cartons of Chinese food and pizza boxes. I saw a couple of beers in the vegetable keeper. I opened a carton and smelled. I pulled out an egg roll and shoved in my mouth while I pulled out a beer. I munched on the egg roll while examining the label. It was a micro brew I hadn't come across before. I twisted the top to the wonderful sound. Psssst!
“Hey bring one of those will ya?” came a man's voice. I took a moment to think about it and shrugged. I grabbed another carton of food and the beers and went in search of my host.
In the darkness I stubbed my toe on the corner of the sofa and had to hop into the master bedroom cursing around the egg roll still in my mouth. Laying on the bed was a man that looked like he had gone ten rounds with a young Magree. I handed him the beer and he sat up and took a long pull off of it and let out a huge bletch.
“Thanks man. I got to remember to not try and keep up Ray Cheetah again!.” He said in painfully hungover voice.
I saw a chair in the corner and sat down and opened the carton. Fucking chicken fingers. Oh well, when life shits on you, you get shit on. I pulled one of the greasy fuckers out and ate it. I made a face and washed it down with the brew. At least that was good. I put the carton aside and wiped my fingers on a piece of something on the floor. My host never seemed to notice. He did get up and stretch.
The man was ripped. Looked like a surfer and talked like one too. He walked right past me, stretching the entire time and I heard him shut the bathroom door. When it opened again he failed to return to the bedroom. I felt silly sitting there in the dark. So I took the last swallow of my beer and decided that coffee sounded even better.
I got up and ventured back to the kitchen. My host had his head in the fridge and several boxes went flying right out to the back patio. He never looked up to see if I was there or not, but some how knew I was there.
“Don't worry about the mess, the Rhoa will clean it up.” He said and finally I heard an “Aha!” and he reappeared with an arm load of eggs and bacon and such. He kicked the fridge shut and swept the counter off with his arms as he replaced one mess with another.
I pulled up a swivel stool and watched him quickly prepare a hot breakfast for both of us. He never stopped! Constantly in motion till he slapped the food unto two plates and set one in front of me and one on his side of the counter. He wiped his hands and at last actually looked at me.
“Pneuma.” He said extending his hand.
“Moon.” I replied shaking it.
“Oh I knew that already.” He smiled and looked around for some forks.
“You hired Inexuim?” I asked and he shook his head.
“Nah, Victor hired him, I just paid him a little more to bring you to me.” He shoved a large forkful into his mouth and never stopped talking. “Victor like to do things differently.” He said around the food.
“Oh, I would have never noticed.” I said with a straight face. He actually stopped and looked at me before resuming his crewing.
“I like you Moon.” He said before turning back to the coffee. He pour us each a large mug and he started drinking his. I looked at mine with a sigh. “Sugar/” He asked and I nodded. Before I could blink it was in front of me. I smiled and put just enough in to take the edge of it. He brewed it almost as strong as an espresso. I took a sip and my eyes got wide! This was better than Vakirauta's!
“It's Ethiopian. Have it brought in fresh.” He said and started scraping his plate with his fork.
“Of course it is .” I said. “Doom said you like to live lavishly. That stopped him and he threw the plate out the door.
“So you already met him?” He clearly didn't like that news. “What he tell you?”
“That you and others are planning to turn Wraeclast into another Aruba, but on a much larger scale.” I was being smug. But that ended when he broke out laughing!
“No Moon. That's not it at all!” He nearly shouted. “He wants to supplant Chris as the First Elder and rule Wraeclast with an iron fist! He hates the idea of rich assholes messing up his pristine land with their toys and shit!” Now I was really confused!
“So why hire me?” I asked and he just shook his head. “I thought he was hiring you to track me down so he can get rid of me!” He laughed.
“But I'm not an assassin!” I was really confused now.
“Not kill me, silly. He wanted you to find enough to discredit me from the rest of the counsel! Only they agree with me!” He finished his coffee and the mug also went out the backdoor. “Don't you see?” He asked
“To tell you the truth, not only don't I see, I'm not sure I want to ever again.” He threw back his head and laughed when I finished.
“That's funny Moon. But listen, Chris is gone all the time and the future is out there just waiting for people like you and me to pluck it like a ripe plum!”He was watching me closely now. I had just been offered the opportunity of a lifetime!
“Pneuma, I don't really care what you do with this place. I just think I need to retire and find someplace to lay down and wait for death to catch up with me.” I said, but his face fell.
“Really?” He sounded sick, but I nodded yes. “Fuck man. I don't think I could ever do that. What about the parties? What about the women? Hell, what about the food!”
“Please enjoy it.” I said, “But life and I have a love-hate relationship. It loves to hate me.” He smiled at that, but it didn't last.
“OK Moon. I'm sorry you would be joining us, but I still need you right now.” He bent down out of sight and I could hear pot and pans being shoved around. When he can back up he threw a thick stack of hundreds on the counter. “I still you to find who has been trying to stop us from going global.”
“You keep your money in the kitchen?” I asked and he smiled.
“Would you have looked there?” And I had to smile too.
“No, no I wouldn't have.” I said taking the stack and putting it in my coat pocket. “So which way should I start looking?” He started to answer, but I put up my hand to stop him. “North. Got it.”

I was getting tired. I had been walking North for miles and nothing. No towns, no animals, not even and birds! There even wasn't any rocks to sit on. It was like the surface of Mars. That made me stop and look around. Alex had mentioned being in space. I looked around again and relaxed. The sky was still blue and I could see the sliver of the moon as it crawled up from the horizon. But where the fuck was everything? Oh well, the journey of a thousand miles starts with the realization that you should just stay home and lock the door.
Just as I thought I might turn around and go back the way I had come, I saw something heading my way fast. I put my hand over my eyes to get a better look. Oh no fucking way! It was a car! I was going to start jumping up and down to draw their attention, but it occurred to me that I was the only thing to see for miles. So instead I lifted my pant leg and stuck my leg out and thumb up. I was pleased to is the car, a Ford Shelby convertible no less, drive by Alysma. I hadn't heard from her in ages!
“Hiya Alysma!” I said with a ear to ear smile. She still looked as great as I remembered!
“Get in.” Is all she said. I tried to open the door, but it was welded shut. I looked at her and she laughed. “Jump in dummy.”
I put on foot over the door and was about to get the other over when she jumped on the gas and squealed the tires whipping the car around! I ended up upside down in the very cramped backseat.
“Ever tell you how much I missed you?” I asked.
“No, never.” She answered with that light laugh of hers.
“That's because I don't.” I said and righted myself and climbed into the passenger seat. She just smiled at me and I almost melted. Few women truly have that power. But I looked at the car and then her and asked her about the car.
“You just have to know the right people Moon.” She said and her foot went down further on the petal. I could see the speed approaching a hundred miles per hour. The wind was making it hard to talk, so I just tried to relax and enjoy the ride. There wasn't any other cars on the road and the roads were new and smooth. Normally I would be shitting myself as I hate this kind of speed, but at least we were getting where we were going fast.
“Ah, where are we going?” I shouted over the wind.
“An old friend wants to see you!” She shouted back and smiled. I should have relaxed, but I don't have friends that would know anyone as special as her. That brought back the memories. Painful memories that I wish I could forget.
“I'm sorry about Tijuana!” I shouted, but she had jammed on the breaks and the wind had died down and I hadn't needed to yell.
“Oh Moon, that's ancient history.” Alysma answered and smiled that melt your heart smile. I smiled back and looked to see where we were. The smile disappeared quickly. Bex was standing next to the car and not smiling. “I haven't forgiven you of course.” she said. When I looked back she was waving gun at me that meant get out. I sighed and looked to the sky once again.
“Thank you.” I said to it.
“Oh you don't have to thank me Moon.” She answered as her gunned the gas and pulled away leaving me standing there with Bex. I watched the car disappear quickly and turned to Bex.
“I was talking to life, not her.” I said and she just glared at me.
“Life hates you too.” She said and I nodded.
“I know. I was thanking it for righting itself. For a little while I thought I was happy.” I walked towards the door Bex was waving her gun at.
“Would it help if I hurt you?” She asked and I stopped to look at her. I took a moment and shook my head no.
“Really thinking about quitting Bex. I was getting use to actually not having bruises and waking up in strange places.” She said she understood and after I turned back to the door she hit me with the gun and I was out.

I awoke to the normal headache and reached into my jacket for my aspirin. Only the bottle had broken and the aspirin were a powdered mess in the bottom of my pocket. Just as well. I couldn't see anything to wash them down with. Once again I was in a small room with two chairs and a table between them. On the table was a speaker. That was different. I reached forward and picked it up, but a voice came over the speaker.
“Put it down Moon.” the voice said. The voice was disguised by a modulator. That made me farrow my brow, but I obeyed. There wasn't the two way mirror for someone to view me secretly that wasn't a secret. So there must be a camera. I sat trying to spot it without getting out of the chair. I wasn't chained down or anything and could have got up to try the door, but I knew better. At the very least, the handle would have been attached to a wire to shock me if I tried. At worst. I stopped myself right there, I tried not to think about that. The door opened and Bex came in and removed the other chair and shut the door again behind her.
“Well that wasn't encouraging.” I said a loud.
“Stop your bitching Moon.” It was the voice again. I stared at the speaker for moment and waited. But I got tired of waiting and took a deep breath.
“What do you want?” I said and waited. But not long.
“I want you to stop working for the Elders Moon.” It said and I nodded.
“Are you the saboteur?” I asked.
“Really Moon? You haven't figured out who I am yet?” the voice sounded disappointed.
“Chris?” I asked and finally got the one eyebrow up! But fucking great! There was no one to see it! But there was a period of silence from the speaker. I sat there wonder if I had said something wrong.
“Sorry Moon, I had a more important call I had to take. You were saying?” I swear I thought about smashing the speaker, but controlled myself.
“Chris?” I asked more forcefully.
“Yes.” He said and I waited. This was really getting on my nerves now.
“Mind if I ask why you want to stop me from helping the Elders?” I put it out there and again there was another paused. I threw my head back and screamed quietly in my head!
“Sorry Moon, I'm a busy man, you were saying again?” He sound sincere, but I was pulling my hair out.
“You know that Doom wants to replace you and make Wraeclast a haven for banks and corporations, Pneuma and his faction want to make this another Atlantis and I haven't a fucking clue what everyone else is doing trying to follow me, but at least they are making this miserable fucking place tolerable!” I shouted at the little speaker. I felt a little foolish now. I just lost my temper at a box.
“So that's what they were up to!” He said and I got a very confused look on my face.
“What?” I asked.
“I knew they were up to something, but I wasn't sure what. Been busy lately.” He answered and I banged my head off of the table a couple of times. “I will see to it that Bex pays them all a nice visit.” I stopped banging my head and looked at the speaker.
“Aaah, why are you using a modulator?” I asked and there was a silence on the other side again. I got up and was going to see if I could get out the door when he answered in a clear voice.
“Oh! Sorry Moon, I forgot that I had not turned that off after the last call.” I closed my eyes and counted to ten. When I opened them I put my hand on the handle and turned it. The door opened and the hallway was empty.
“Moon?” It was Chris again.
“Yeah?”
“I checked into the rest and you got me. It seems someone has been spreading rumors about you looking for several different items depending on the person.” I stared again at the speaker. Well at least that makes sense. I wonder who was behind that. Probably Daemon. Probably using space as an alibi.
“See you around Chris.” I said and walked down the hallway.
“No you won't Moon, but we will be watching you.” He replied. I smiled. At least life was being consistent. I opened the door at the end of the hallway and walked out into the night air.

I walked into the town looking for a bar or anything, but it was late and nothing was open except a hotel. I could hear the ocean nearby and smiled. Retirement old buddy. I said to myself and went and sat down on a store's steps. I sat there for a while when Lachdanan approached and sat down next to me.
“You ok?” I asked and he nodded.
“Yeah only one that got hurt in the fight was BMBI. He cut his hand on some glass climbing over a bartender. And I think Wittgenstein lost a tooth, but that was because he tripped over Pavshaus's legs while he was hiding under a table.” He said and looked towards the road.
“I was not hiding.” Said Pavshaus. He was on the balcony looking down at us. I had dropped my gun and was trying to reach it.”
“Whatever.” Lachdanan replied and shook his head at me. He rolled his eyes too.
“Ya know, fuck you too Lachdanan!” Pavshaus shot back. But I had a question I wanted an answer to.
“What are you doing here anyway?” I asked. “I thought you had everything you wanted back home.” He hung his head and took a long breath and let it out slowly.
“Go on and tell him.” Pavshaus was laughing.
“Remember Paolynie?” He asked and I shook my head. I had never heard of her. But then I remembered reading something about her in the papers. “Well, we got married and I thought I had got her to sign a pre-nup, but she had switched it out and it turns out I had signed of the power of attorney.” I swear he was starting to cry. “He looked up and continued, “She took everything!” He hung his head again.
“Don't feel bad, she did the same thing to Wittgenstein.” It was Pavshaus again. He seemed happy to stay were he was.
“Solwitch and Hardlicker?” I asked.
“Hardlicker said he had to get back home or his wife was going to kill him.” Said Lachdanan from under his arms he had covered his head with.
“I never knew he was married.” I said and Pavshaus snorted.
“Some fucking Shadow you are.” He sneered.”But anyway, I last saw Solwitch trying to hit up Bex, but that won't go well. And BMBI is back at his temple drooling over that book of his.”
“The Telling?” I asked and they both nodded. “What's so special about it?”
“Hell if we know, but he thinks its more valuable than anything.” said Lachdanan. We sat there in silence for awhile and listened to the crickets singing.
“So why the fuck were you guys following me?” I asked
“Got a call that you had the contract I signed.” said Lachdanan.
“You got a call too?” ask Pavshaus. I finally got up and smiled.
“Gentlemen. I think its time for me to hang it up. I'm going to get a good night's sleep and tomorrow I am going to buy a nice place down by the beach and retire.” I walked towards the hotel and Pavshaus call after me.
“I'll believe it when I see it Moon.”
“Yeah, how about we get together and have breakfast in the morning Moon?” asked Lachdanan.
“No thanks guys. I really think I need a break, but don't be afraid to look me up after I get settled. Just make sure to bring something good to drink. And Lachdanan, no scotch.” I laughed.
“Not for you anyway.” He said and sat back on his elbows.
“Later guys.” I said as I waved and stepped into the lobby of the hotel.