Are youa Goat?

Are you a Goat?

This is a serious question that needs to be answered. By taking the questionnaire below, we hope to clear up exactly who you really are and if you are really one of the lucky ones.

(1) It is a nice day outside: What do you do?
A.) Shut the curtains and get back to playing you video games.
B.) Go outside and participate in an outdoor activity.
C.) Watch another cartoon Marathon that you have already seen 1600 times.
D.) Subtly work to destroy your enemies.

(2) The phone rings while you are in a timed quest: What do you do?
A.) Answer the phone and polity hold while the autodailer connects you with the spam caller.
B.) Sigh, answer the phone and hung up as soon as you hear the robotic voice.
C.) Answer the phone and wait for the spam caller so you can see if you can drive them to suicide
D.) Continue playing knowing that the call is not important.

(3) You go out to eat, the waitstaff is rude: What do you do?
A.) Nothing. Eat your meal and leave a tip.
B.) Eat you meal, but leave no tip. Consider writing bad review on Yelp, but don't.
C.) Send back your meal by throwing it at the waitstaff.
D.) Eat your meal, demand to see the manager and complain loudly until your meal is comp'ed. Leave small tip and write funny review on Yelp.

(4) Someone bumps into accidentally on the street and apologizes: What do you do?
A.) Apologize right back.
B.) Make a snarky comment, but under your breath.
C.) Start following them humming the theme music to Jaws loud enough to be heard.
D.) Follow from a distance, then once you know where they live, find out where they work. Slowly integrate yourself into their life and over time force them to do your bidding.

(5) A car salesman is obviously trying to screw you over: What do you do?
A.) Buy the car and hope they don't reprocess it later as it is more than you can afford.
B.) Leave the dealership and buy the same car elsewhere cheaper.
C.) Ask to take the car for a test drive. Make sure the salesman is buckled in tight before you drive the car into the ocean.
D.) Tell the salesman that you want six of them and cost doesn't matter, but you need this one right now. Sign the agreement Napoleon. Drive off with the car to another dealership and see if you can trade it in.

(6)You come across a lost child at the playground: What do you do?
A.) Call the cops and stay with the child until they arrive.
B.) Ignore the crying little rug rat.
C.) Take them home and try to teach them to be an unstoppable killing machine.
D.) Trip them as you walk past to teach them a valuable life lesson.

(7)You find a large amount of unattended cash: What do you do?
A.) Call the cops. Guard the money until they arrive. Refuse any reward.
B.) Call the cops and demand that you get the money if no one claims it.
C.) Take the money and go buy that machete you have been eyeing lately.
D.) Take the money and use the money to buy and post fliers around claiming you found it. Use the number of you local politician's office.

(8) A man is talking on his cell phone during the start of a movie: What do you do?
A.) Sit quietly and try to hear the dialog over his conversation.
B.) Get up and point your finger at him while scream "He's one of them!" Then sit back down.
C.) Quietly move closer to the man until you can reach his phone. Then give it back to him as a suppository.
D.) Quietly move closer until you can read the number that the call is from. Use reverse dial up to find out who the caller is. Leave the theater, hunt them down and kill them loudly while the guy at the movie can still hear it.

(9) A man in a suit comes to your door to talk about God: What do you do?
A.) Answer the door, but stand in the doorway until he finishes and then lock the door again.
B.) Let the dog answer the door. See how fast the man can run.
C.) Invite the man in. Ask his shoe size and tell him that you really like his suit. And his skin. Ask him if anyone knows where he is right now.
D.) Invite him in. Tell him that Satan as made you a pretty good deal and if he wants to top it, he needs to give you his soul as a sign of trust.

(10) The car in front of you doesn't move when the light turns green: What do you do?
A.) Wait patiently until they notice.
B.) Give your horn a shot.
C.) Ram they car into the middle of the intersection. Then Honk your horn and point to the lights.
D.) Follow them home and then sign them up with every home improvement company you can find.

The way to score this is 1 point for every question answered A.) 2 for every B.) 3 for C.) and 4 for D.)

Scores of 10 to 15 - You are a sheep. You took this test because you are polite and did not want to offend me.
Scores of 16 to 25 - You also are a sheep, but felt you should spice up the test so you didn't seem like such wuss.
Scores of 26 to 40 - You are a well adjusted Human being. Loser.
Scores of 41 to 70 - You are a borderline paranoid psychopath, you should consider a career in sales or go into politics.
Scores of 71 to 90 - You are dangerous unstable sociopath. You should try being a forum mod. Fits right up your alley.
Scores 91 to 100 - You are an Alpha asshole. Thank God (and by God, I don't mean you) that you have not bred yet.

So are you a Goat?

I think you may could do a better somewhat job than some mods I don't know yet.