This Is a Bug or EOMM/SBMM Causing One-Shot Kills

Oh, GGG, you absolute geniuses of game design! The way you’ve crafted Path of Exile 2 is just chef’s kiss—Armour’s so wonderfully balanced against Energy Shield, it’s almost like you’re daring us to notice ES is the golden child. Gotta love how you yeeted Ghost Step into oblivion to “tone down” ES, only for 70-80% of players to still sprint for those juicy ES nodes like it’s a Black Friday sale. Poor souls stuck with classes too far from the ES promised land just get to eat dirt, huh? And then you have the gall to chuckle at us plebs for “not understanding Armour’s value.” Truly, a comedy masterpiece.

So, let’s talk about that “value.” Picture this: my Tactician, balanced-defense, has sunk every point into Bastion ascendancy for that sweet, sweet protection. Armor and Evasion both at a crisp 50%, 12% damage taken from Mana, and a respectable 2400 life. I’m soloing N6 Delirium like it’s a Sunday stroll, popping off Artillery Ballista and laughing at the chaos. But then, in a bog-standard T15 white map—BAM! A random white mob one-shots kill me. One-shots. My Omen of Resurgence pops, HP supposed to surge back, but nope, many times!!!, I’m still deader than a doornail. Tell me, GGG, is this my “low health pool” failing me, or is something else cooking in your code?

Let’s break it down. Either we’ve got a bug—you know, those pesky console-exclusive gremlins you love to ignore for 300-day vacations in the Xbox bug report section. Or maybe, just maybe, dear Jonathan (who’s surely innocent, right? *winks slyly*) got fed a tall tale by those engineers, swearing the game’s running smooth as silk. If it’s not a bug, then what? Did I somehow equip an illegal Omen of Resurgence that decided to nap mid-fight? Or did that white mob pull a data leak, sneaking in a billion-damage crit? Nah, it’s gotta be that secret sauce—EOMM or DDS—rigging the game to keep us “engaged” with random one-shots [1]. Nobody’d admit to that, though, would they? *sips tea*

So, what’s the deal? If it’s not bugs or shady matchmaking voodoo, then it’s clearly our fault, right? Us dumb players, not stacking enough Armour to tank a T15 white mob’s nuke. Shame on us for daring to play your paid Early Access like it’s a finished game. We should just bow down and apologize for existing, yeah? Fix this mess, GGG, or are we stuck waiting for a streamer to rage-quit before you notice?

[1] Footnote: What’s DDS/EOMM?
- DDS (Dynamic Difficulty Scaling): A sneaky system that cranks up enemy damage or stats when you’re doing too well, so T15 white mobs hit like they’re moonlighting as endgame bosses.
- EOMM (Engagement Optimized Matchmaking): A shady trick to keep you hooked by tossing random one-shots to “spice up” your day. No proof in POE2, but it sure feels like it’s skulking in the code.