New religion (with updates) Added a sermon!

"Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw" I'm now a convert. I don't normally go for organized religion but I reckon this is right up my alley. Promise me eternal happiness and a dozen slutty whores in the afterlife and I will even sing in the choir.

A couple of sins to be decided upon by those that care more than I:

It is a sin to slap your own ass, whilst calling out your own name, whilst looking at yourself in the mirror, whilst making love to your missus in the doggy style position (I haven't done this as such but I think it would be a sin if I did, especially if I was recording said non event).

Someone fetch me more whiskey for the love of MoonYu.

Well I'm not pointing the finger at anyone (Moon for instance) though it probably was what he ate from take out, but what happened in an elevator went beyond sin...





I've heard that a result those who were present nearly lost their lunch along with their religion.


I also want to thank our Nambla for todays fine reading from the Book of Entrapment... I'm sure it was worthwhile for anyone who had the time to waste to listen.

I do want to reiterate too what our Nambla indicated about not mistaking this as a cult.


Also any of you who have had any thoughts about potentially overthrowing the Church, burning down this thread or usurping the Nambla or engaging in any other type of religious revolt with or without a pyrotechnic Nambla effigy should think twice.

All these religions and churches are created to fill a void left by our separation from the one true God. It's a void that can only be filled by a relationship with Him.

John 3:16 reads that God so loved the world that he gave his only Son that whoever believes in him shall have eternal life.

Acts 17 : 22 Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said: “People of Athens! I see that in every way you are very religious. 23 For as I walked around and looked carefully at your objects of worship, I even found an altar with this inscription: to an unknown god. So you are ignorant of the very thing you worship—and this is what I am going to proclaim to you.

24 “The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands. 25 And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything. Rather, he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else. 26 From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. 27 God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us.

Seems fitting for this. This is not necessarily for you but there are some who are against our don't know His grace. Hopefully these words will take root.

I think he´s applying for the "Wet Speaker of the Crazy Village People"-title ?
Yours Sincerly Nambla do you have one of these titles spare to grant him?, maybe he will then stop to talk stuff up.
I heared its common practice in other religions to do so, worth a try i would say.

"

Moonyu wrote:

No. Nothing you post about a real religion is going to make sense in this obvious joke thread.

Also quoting from a book that many do not believe in is not a a good means to prove your argument. Please, this is not an attack on your faith. It is pointing out that if I quoted from a book about a faith you believe to be false, you will reject it out of hand. Now please stop taking this seriously and enjoy the humor of it all. Humor: It's one of God's greatest gifts.

Wait!!!! This is a joke thread????

Son of a......

There goes my planned trip to ...