Giving a beta key

I'm giving away a beta key guys!

Tell me your best joke and the one that makes me laugh the most will be rewarded with a key!

Good luck!

Der ver zwei peanuts, valking down der strasse, and von vas... assaulted! peanut. Ho-ho-ho-ho.

My mamas so fat that she had to use a satellite for her passport picture

A dog walks into a bar and hops up on a stool. He looks the bartender in the eye and says, "Hey, guess what? I can talk. Have you ever seen a talking dog before? How about a drink?"

The bartender thinks for a moment and says, "Sure, the toilet's right around the corner."

The World's Shortest Joke:

Two women were sitting quietly....

BA DUM TSS

Our life - one big joke.

A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately to an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the sailors do to satisfy their urges when they're at sea for so long.

"Let me show you," says the captain.

He takes the recruit down to the rear of the ship where there's a solitary barrel with a hole in it.

"This'll be the best sex you'll ever have. Go ahead and try it, and I'll give you some privacy."

The recruit doesn't quite believe it, but he decides to try it anyway. After he finishes up, the captain returns.

"Wow! That was the best sex I've ever had! I want to do it every day!"

"Fine. You can do it every day except for Thursday."

"Why not Thursday?"

"That's your day in the barrel."

Hope you like it :P Also i am from the Eu so i can only get a beta key from giveaways :(

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I have a gun.
Get in the van.

I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

A little boy walks into a whore house with a dead frog on a string.

He walks up to the Madam and asks for the dirtiest, most diseased prostitute she has. The madam tells him to go all the way in the back, and he'll find Jenny there. As he starts dragging his dead frog down the hall she stops him and asks why he would want a dirty diseased prostitute.

"Well, you see it's like this. I am going to go have sex with Jenny and catch whatever she has. Then I am going home, and Mom and Dad are going out tonight which means Tammy will be coming over to baby sit. She will want to fool around with me, so I'll pass it on to her. When Mom and Dad get home Dad will offer to drive Tammy home, and they will stop on the way and he'll have sex with her, so she will pass it to him. When he gets home tonight he will make sweet love to Mom, giving it to her. Tomorrow morning when Dad goes to work the Mailman will come, and he and Mom will get it on. She will pass the diseases on to him,

and THATS THE BASTARD THAT RAN OVER MY PET FROG!