Debunking a few myths about Australia
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Debunking a few myths about Australia and to a lesser extent our closest neighbors New Zealand.
This is aimed at the folk who reside in the northern hemisphere and have been misinformed and led astray by false advertising and Ausploytation. First off, we do live in a hostile environment and need to grow up tough enough to defend ourselves from some of the nastier creations that mother nature has invented. So too do New Zealanders or kiwis as they are known. They are known as Kiwis because there isn't a dominant mammal on their islands and as such the placid flightless bird the Kiwi rules the forest floors without fear of predators. Yeah New Zealanders got it easy. Aussies on the other hand are against legalizing guns for the common person as it is entirely unnecessary. Children at an early age in Australia are taught how to defend themselves with knives, big bloody knives. Each child is also given a Koala bear and a Kangaroo to train them to act as body guards to get them to school and back. These animals form a bond with the child and can't be replaced, and are only to be sacrificed in a life threatening situation like fighting against 2 or more crocodiles at once. A Dingo has only once in the last 200 years of Australian history ever eaten a baby and even that hasn't really been proven. It did make sensationalist news headlines for far too long and I can see the funny side of jokes about babies and dingos. Crocodiles and Great White Sharks take babies, children, women and men all the time and you don't see it in the international press. No-one in Aus thinks Paul Hogan is funny. Elle Macpherson is still hot. Australian and Kiwi actors are totally awesome as are most of the movies and music. If you have any other queries that you would like explained, just leave a question in the comments. "Withdrawing in disgust is not the same as apathy"
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I haven't read any of it yet, I'm still going to believe you are lying to me. Its what I would do.
Edit: I read it. I still thinking you are lying to me. Koalas? They suck as bodyguards! |
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When I was given my Kangaroo it was actually Pregnant, as a result I had 2 Kangaroos and a Koala... Needless to say, I was the King of my School.
Also there are rumors that we hop into the pouches of Kangaroos as a form of transport. This is just dumb. If it were that easy you wouldn't need to spend $150 to $400 on a Kangaroo Saddle. Lastly, Tasmanian Devils don't walk on 2 legs and spin around in a Tornado like fashion. The last Tassie Devil that did that is believed to have died almost 30 years ago. You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world,
and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches. |
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Well I grew up Florida and let me tell you, we once had a huge hurricane knock our house off the foundation. The cockroaches got our and moved it back!
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I did some fact checking once I got home from work and I found several of your points to be flat out lies according to the American book of other countries and their strange, weird and possibly sick ways. (It's given to each American at their six birthday.)
1. There is no such place as Australia. It's just a fable English people tell their kids to keep them depressed. 2. Koalas are not actually bears, but a member of the Peterson Family. (They live down the street. They say Hi.) 2. Americans suck at math. 2. God must of really hated the New Zealanders. Putting them that close to a fictional continent. 14. And everyone knows that Tasmanian Devils are actually a bad garage band that thinks they are the next coming of the Beatles. But it is true that they don't get around on two legs. 2. Paul Hogan was a failed high school science experiment that got out of hand. Although Becky did get second place at the fair. So stop telling these out and out lies! Next you will be telling me that Kiwis can be both a Fruit and a Bird! What do you think I am? Studip? |
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" still can't stop laughing well done mate :) Alva: I'm sweating like a hog in heat
Shadow: That was fun | |
" GGG hates us too. Wraeclast lies just off the coast of Banks Peninsula, NZ. |
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Rack off Toadfish, ya' flamin' galah!
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Australians? Don't forget to drink your milk 👌
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I was once part of a joint training exercise with some members of the Australian military. The only question I could think to ask was if toilet water really swirled the opposite direction.
Sorry, Murica. |
