So once again I was disconnected from the game and, as appropriate, the game punished me for my transgression. That is what it's for, of course: to punish players for disconnecting. Anyway, I reconnected, fifteen percent of a level poorer. I repeated the mantra to myself, as I always do, so as to try to learn from my punishment. Don't disconnect. Don't disconnect. Don't disconnect! Perhaps someday I'll learn my lesson.
Anyway, while lamenting over my grievous mistake, I thought about how the death punishment has improved my play. For example, I no longer die in maps. That's right, I've completely eliminated ALL of my map deaths! I never die on a map due to disconnecting, I never die on a map due to lagging, I never die on a map due to my operating system crashing. I never die on a map due to inexperience, incompetence, or the desire for experimentation. I am wholly immune to map death, 100%, totally and utterly.
Yes sir, I've learned my lesson. And as a result, I will never, ever die on a map again. How did I accomplish this? Simple! I don't run maps.
I don't run maps, and as a result, I never experience death punishment on maps. This was the lesson that the death punishment has taught me, and I have taken it to heart. Similarly, I don't ever go to the pyramids. And I *certainly* never visit the Act 2 end boss. The risk of death due to disconnect, or due to lag, or due to my own incompetence, or due to my cat walking onto my keyboard, or due to the batteries in my mouse running out, is simply too high. And so I have eliminated these deaths, too.
No, I've learned my lesson from death punishment. I now run the Fellshrine Ruins, and ONLY the Fellshrine Ruins. I fight zombies. I fight skeletons. I fight slow-moving rock creatures. Sometimes, for variety, I get *really* crazy, and fight a combination of creature types -- zombies and skeletons together is always a popular mix!
And thus I've tremendously reduced my deaths, and thus minimized the amount of death punishment I must suffer. I still do occasionally disconnect in the Ruins of course, and suffer appropriate punishment for doing so. But the suffering is greatly mitigated, since the monsters are so much more slow-moving, so they're less likely to reach my character before the game realizes that my connection is severed. So I am still punished, but not as often. It's much more bearable, you see.
So I run Fellshrine. Constantly. I log on and look for public Fellshrine runs. When a public Fellshrine run finishes, I go back to town and look for another public Fellshrine run. If there aren't any, I walk away from the computer, come back, and check for more Fellshrine runs. Perhaps someday I'll even begin creating my own Fellshrine runs. But it's faster and easier to just join pre-existing Fellshrine runs. And if there's anything the death punishment has taught me, it's that fast and easy is the safe route. Slow and dangerous -- that's the path of punishment!
They're terrific fun, these Fellshrine runs. I grind for experience. I grind for orb drops. I grind for rares and uniques. I grind, and I grind, and I grind. My gear is set up for survival, so as to avoid the death penalty as much as possible. My gear is set up for damage, so as to kill the creatures as quickly as possible, thus minimizing the chance of experiencing the death penalty. I carry absolutely no increased item quality or quantity modifiers; these do not contribute to survival in any fashion, and the death punishment has taught me that survival is the most important -- nay, the ONLY important -- factor when playing. That's what punishments are for, right? To discourage behavior? Rest assured, in my case, it's worked like a charm.
The bigger the public Fellshrine run group, the better the experience points. The challenge is not increased at all; the monsters are just as slow, they deal just as much damage, they still die in 1-2 hits, barring the occasional champion pack that dies in 3-4. Please note that I am not at all bragging about my damage-dealing prowess. Far from it! I didn't build my character for damage. I built him for survival, to avoid punishment. Damage efficiency is simply the vehicle, so as to kill the creatures quickly and minimize the risk of disconnection in the middle of a fight. Risk means punishment; no risk, no punishment. That's the lesson I've learned; that's the lesson I've taken to heart.
You may think me sociable, then, for joining so many public games all of the time. Far from it! Punishment has taught me not to hang around other players. It's far more efficient, far more safe, to hunt by myself, so I can control how many monsters approach, thus minimizing my risk of disconnecting near many creatures and suffering punishment as a result. So I run, as fast as I can, away from the other players, to hunt on my own. I don't use their portals -- ever! -- because that takes the risk that there'll be monsters at the other end, and I'll disconnect on arrival. The death punishment's lesson is to not take ANY unnecessary risks. So I simply waypoint to an adjacent zone and walk inside on my own. I've taken my lessons to heart.
But I do go on. Back to my request. Please reduce the map drop rate. You see, maps are interfering with my efficiency. The death punishment has taught me how to play for maximum efficiency and, thus, maximum fun: join public Fellshrine games; stay away from players; kill carefully and purposefully; don't disconnect from the game. Aside from that last part -- I'm still working on that! -- this all works out splendidly. But the existence of maps interferes with that efficiency.
You see, maps encourage players NOT to play in public Fellshrine runs, but rather, to go off into map zones and explore and experiment and adventure. And while they're off doing all of these things -- I can't imagine why, since the death punishment nakedly discourages such irresponsible behavior -- I'm stuck looking for public Fellshrine runs! Where is everybody? Egads!
Reducing the map drop rate would in turn encourage players to obey the edicts of the death punishment: play it safe; keep it simple; don't explore; don't take risks; don't experiment. Do Fellshrine runs, over and over again. That's the design intent, that's what death punishment is here to remind us, always hovering above us like a dark, angry cloud of doom and despair.
After all, isn't that how you want us to play? Constantly paranoid, constantly in fear of death? Never taking risks, never trying something new, never exposing one's self to the possibility of losing hours worth of work because of that karma-induced combination of disconnection and circumstance? Isn't that your vision, GGG? Isn't that your design intent? That's certainly the impression that I've gotten, the lesson that I've learned, pounded into the depths of my soul, reinforced with each and every punishment I'm dealt.
So, please reduce the map drop rate. At least, until I'm done grinding on public Fellshrine runs all the way to level 100, when I finally become immune to the death punishment, finally free to explore the rest of the game and all it entails. Thank you for your thoughtful consideration of my request.
Best. Post. Evar. Read the whole thing and laughed throughout. So very spot on and why I've quit until OB. Death penalty = too much time wasted for trying something new and fun that doesn't work.
