Shut-in needs advice

"
MinasMorgul wrote:
I'm 27 and I haven't socialized whatsoever for 8 years now. Always dwelling in my den (when not at work), avoiding sunlight and reality. So my social skills are kinda rusted away. No clue what people do together in their free time. Now I'll meet a girl. I don't know anything about her except that she's a nice girl and that she's also alone most of the time. She's just as childish as me, even though she's a bit older. She's helping out at my moms workplace, so she got asked whether she wants to meet me. Yup, she wants. Now the panic kicks in.

I think I'll be straightforward. First thing would be talking about each others hobbies, I guess. Mine are Japanese (the real thing, not the weeb-thing), visual novels, wandering, games, anime, 19th century philosophers and sexy time. If she's into that, then good, if not, I won't need her anyway. I wonder if she'll be impressed by my 14 dakimakura, 23 anime girl posters and 35 figurines decorating my room...

If she wants to enter my bedroom, she has to defeat the first boss in dark souls 3. lol. *cries in Japanese*

(I'm posting here because I have no one else to talk to)

Wow. Ok. I'll set aside all of the jokes and be genuine because you were open and honest. :-)

I'm a geek. Into everything related to computers for sure, and then some. I've been married for just over 3 years now. I also have an ex-g/f of 8 years (yeah, a time long, I know). But even when I was younger had no interest in the dating scene, bars, and all of that crap. So I understand where you're coming from. I'm not a "shut-in" like you, but I did spend 4 hours or more a day in my "man cave" gaming and working on my creative, digital projects. I had no interest in being in a relationship in my late 20s and all through my 30s until a few years ago when a human starts to ponder life in their later years with no one to love or take care of them, and vice versa: no one to take care of either.

Any ways, here's my advice:

Like others said, be yourself, and be comfortable with that. However, I'd stress one important caveat in that: don't go out of your way to show off your counter-culture side. If the topic comes up, sure, talk about your passions, hobbies, and interests. But if you're talking all the time about things she has no interest or clue about, move on to something else. It's okay for couples to have different interests and passions, so long as you find some common grounds to share. Your values, your life ambitions, and where you see yourself in the future matter far more in a relationship than the things you enjoy right now.

So, if it makes sense, I'd say "being genuine" is more important than "being yourself". Be true to your values, because all of the geeky stuff each of us enjoys just isn't a factor in a *real* relationship. And hey, if you find out she enjoys that stuff too, all the better. But don't hinge your relationship on that.

Also... drop that "won't need her" attitude. She's a person and doesn't "need" you either, so keep that in mind. You should want to enjoy each other's company. You may not "need" someone new in your life, but what you (and hopefully she) gets out of that relationship in the future will be worth far more than anything in your life right now.
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▒▒▒▒░░░░░ cipher_nemo ░░░░░▒▒▒▒ │ Waggro Level: ♠○○○○ │ 1244
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Last edited by cipher_nemo on Apr 20, 2017, 1:24:33 PM
give her a handcrafted necklace you've made yourself with your toenails.
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diablofdb wrote:
give her a handcrafted necklace you've made yourself with your toenails.

ROFLOL
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▒▒▒▒░░░░░ cipher_nemo ░░░░░▒▒▒▒ │ Waggro Level: ♠○○○○ │ 1244
▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀
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diablofdb wrote:
give her a handcrafted necklace you've made yourself with your toenails.


i love you
I carve and sell real animal skulls, check out my work here: https://www.instagram.com/victorseiche/
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Highest level char in Closed Beta, Wytchfindergeneral
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MinasMorgul wrote:
Mine are Japanese (the real thing, not the weeb-thing), visual novels, wandering, games, anime, 19th century philosophers and sexy time.

No fucking way is this real.
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pneuma wrote:
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MinasMorgul wrote:
Mine are Japanese (the real thing, not the weeb-thing), visual novels, wandering, games, anime, 19th century philosophers and sexy time.

No fucking way is this real.

Sometimes the most wacked shit is also the most real shit.
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
▒▒▒▒░░░░░ cipher_nemo ░░░░░▒▒▒▒ │ Waggro Level: ♠○○○○ │ 1244
▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀
"
MinasMorgul wrote:
I'm 27 and I haven't socialized whatsoever for 8 years now. Always dwelling in my den (when not at work), avoiding sunlight and reality. So my social skills are kinda rusted away. No clue what people do together in their free time. Now I'll meet a girl. I don't know anything about her except that she's a nice girl and that she's also alone most of the time. She's just as childish as me, even though she's a bit older. She's helping out at my moms workplace, so she got asked whether she wants to meet me. Yup, she wants. Now the panic kicks in.

I think I'll be straightforward. First thing would be talking about each others hobbies, I guess. Mine are Japanese (the real thing, not the weeb-thing), visual novels, wandering, games, anime, 19th century philosophers and sexy time. If she's into that, then good, if not, I won't need her anyway. I wonder if she'll be impressed by my 14 dakimakura, 23 anime girl posters and 35 figurines decorating my room...

If she wants to enter my bedroom, she has to defeat the first boss in dark souls 3. lol. *cries in Japanese*

(I'm posting here because I have no one else to talk to)


Have some fun but do keep us updated. It seems a lot of people get a kick out of social experiments, so do us all a favour, and be a good boy!

Beside mom always knows what is best for you.
Heart of Purity

Awarded 'Silverblade' to Talent Competition Winner 2020.
My collection might be smaller than others but at least I played the game fair and square.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDFO4E5OKSE
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pneuma wrote:
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MinasMorgul wrote:
Mine are Japanese (the real thing, not the weeb-thing), visual novels, wandering, games, anime, 19th century philosophers and sexy time.

No fucking way is this real.


It is.
Learned the language from 2013 to 2016 with imabi.net and Anki to a point where I can read without problems. Actively speaking is still hard though, because I never had it as a goal. Who would have guessed that? Gonna travel Japan for two weeks in September this year. I've also compiled a 135 pages summary of Schopenhauer and Nietzsche. And I don't even think this is strange at all. And what dude doesn't like games and sexy-time?

@cipher_nemo:

Good advice. Thanks a bunch!
Even if I'll discover that direct human interaction is still not my thing, that's good to know anyway.


"
Reinhart wrote:

Have some fun but do keep us updated. It seems a lot of people get a kick out of social experiments, so do us all a favour, and be a good boy!

Beside mom always knows what is best for you.


Haha, indeed.

Update will take a while as I haven't even exchanged a word with her yet. But I won't forget you guys.

Kuduku, you majestic, magnificent, pulsating, wooden shaft of a man. - ZiggyD
Last edited by MinasMorgul on Apr 20, 2017, 2:11:25 PM
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MinasMorgul wrote:
visual novels, wandering, games, anime, 19th century philosophers and sexy time. If she's into that, then good, if not, I won't need her anyway. I wonder if she'll be impressed by my 14 dakimakura, 23 anime girl posters and 35 figurines decorating my room...


Wow...good luck buddy.

Don't forget to drink your milk 👌
Last edited by TheWretch on Apr 20, 2017, 3:20:24 PM
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Boem wrote:
Be yourself and see if she can cope with that.

Ask her to do the same.

Enjoy the ride.

Baka.

Peace,

-Boem-



not an advice



on topic: be yourself
I need more purple titles

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