Shut-in needs advice

I'm 27 and I haven't socialized whatsoever for 8 years now. Always dwelling in my den (when not at work), avoiding sunlight and reality. So my social skills are kinda rusted away. No clue what people do together in their free time. Now I'll meet a girl. I don't know anything about her except that she's a nice girl and that she's also alone most of the time. She's just as childish as me, even though she's a bit older. She's helping out at my moms workplace, so she got asked whether she wants to meet me. Yup, she wants. Now the panic kicks in.

I think I'll be straightforward. First thing would be talking about each others hobbies, I guess. Mine are Japanese (the real thing, not the weeb-thing), visual novels, wandering, games, anime, 19th century philosophers and sexy time. If she's into that, then good, if not, I won't need her anyway. I wonder if she'll be impressed by my 14 dakimakura, 23 anime girl posters and 35 figurines decorating my room...

If she wants to enter my bedroom, she has to defeat the first boss in dark souls 3. lol. *cries in Japanese*

(I'm posting here because I have no one else to talk to)

Be yourself and see if she can cope with that.

Ask her to do the same.

Enjoy the ride.

Baka.

Peace,

-Boem-

Think up a few activities you'd like to do that 2 or more people can do together

When you meet, introduce yourself. If it's a dinner date, then activities are easy. Take her to dinner. If not, ask her what she'd like to do. If she wants you to decide then hurrah! you have a few activities in mind, now right? ;)

Talk about what she likes, what she wants to do with her life. Tell her about your likes and interests. Compliment her on her features in a non-sexual way (at least at first): hair, dress, shoes, etc. (for ex: don't be like hey nice tits; lol)

There, now you have a place to start at least :)

Also, be genuine, honest. (there is a difference between openness and honesty btw. Don't TMI her on the first date)

It sounds like you have some concerns about how you will be perceived. I know the anxiety that causes, but the "truth" is that if you are going to have any kind of *real* friendship or relationship, it should be based on who you actually are, not a persona you are playing for the camera. That goes both ways.

"

sarahaustin wrote:

Buy her flowers.

or grab some from the nearest roundabout if finding a shop that sells them is too much of a hassle

"

sarahaustin wrote:

Buy her flowers.

Haha, no.

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Darkfyre wrote:

Think up a few activities you'd like to do that 2 or more people can do together

Doubt it's gonna be dinner.
Go wandering, talk a bit to show her that I'm more human than I think, go to my cozy place, play some pc games, get drunk, play some adult games. gotta dream big, ha?

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Docbp87 wrote:

It sounds like you have some concerns about how you will be perceived

I just don't think ANY girl would be interested in a hardcore-otaku. So I need to give off a good first impression in every other aspect.
It's not like I'm not confident in me as a person. I have a decent job, know my manners, look not bad, have some impressive hobbies. I'm just not good with socializing.

you dont get a second chance to make a first impression, so just relax

The best impression you can give her is that you are someone who is fun to be around and genuinely cares about who she is (as opposed to just her body). Once you get to know each other and if she accepts you, that is when you can start overtly expressing an interest in her, physically.

i dont know if this is the right place for dating advice

just be fun and captivating, if it doesn't end up being romantic in the end you'll have a new friend.

Girls have friends that are girls. It's good to be fiends with girls who have attractive friends.