Sorry for all the rant I am so weak
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have some self-control.
I dont know what happened, but you are the one injuring yourself, do not let your emotions control you (though you taking hormones will definitely fuck with your mood) The quest for validation is pointless, the less you care about the world the better, what's important is that you find happiness yourself. If it helps, get a punching bag or something, better than ruining a laptop and cutting. Sometimes people need to let out a bit physically, followed by a cold shower and good night sleep usually does the trick - maybe have some tea to help, try to avoid using pills for health and obvious reasons (a gun you do not have is a gun you cannot use) a good-night sleep usually removes self-harming/suicidal tendencies from the mind as they tend to be a thing of the moment, the physical workout also doubles to make you tired enough so you can rest more easily, a cold shower will help you calm your nerves. I also recommend going to a spa or something if its within your wallet (a large pool for example can double as comfort-giving and a place to get rid of excess energy). Make relaxation the destination, do not feed your negative attributes, instead use them to better yourself: Hobbies,work and goals help a lot, a busy mind tends to be healthier, if you are focusing on something you are not ruminating over some event. I know its hard when you are feeling like that, but you gotta make an effort to have something to distract you Ideally you should set goals when you are in a better mood, put a post-it on your fridge or something reminding you of the many things you can do when you are not feeling calm. and yeah, people are pricks over the internet, most people are much worse online, the lack of a physical interaction makes it naturally less real and empathic. You can take that as a strength too, stop and think, "does some stranger on a forum really matters that much to me?" Hell, even IRL, you cant get everybody to like you/your opinions/your views/etc. People place different degrees of importance to different things. Its also important to know when to cut contact with some, social leeches are definitely a detriment to one's well-being also if you ever feel like cutting, try wrapping a bandage/belt tight around the area for a few secs. the feeling of having the area covered can serve as a deterrent to it; its just replacing a feeling with another, you can also have it for longer but not too tight, be careful with circulation, ideally over time you should loosen it less and less until you dont need it anymore. The only problem with this is, that to be done correctly, you'll have to stop wearing watches as well. Alternatively, though its of a weaker effect, try placing your palm on the area you'd like to cut, then move back and forth fast on your arm, this is to induce a friction effect that also works as a "weaker drug". These may sound weird or stupid, but help a bit. Oblivious Last edited by Disrupted on Apr 7, 2017, 10:10:23 PM
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" No matter what his definition is, wtf? You get to define gender regardless of biology, but he doesn't get to define making threads about trying to grow tits and cutting your wrists as attention seeking? You have a lot of growing up to do m8. |
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George W. Bush: 'We evaluate ourselves by the best of our intentions but others by the worst of their actions'
Action not = Intention |
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" Again, you blame her for her gender disassociation. And again, I will point out that gender disassociation has been accepted by EXPERTS and I personally will take their opinion over bigots who feel the need to keep putting her down. |
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" I said nothing about the gender issue, let alone anything biggoted. I was referring to his apparent need to keep posting threads like this. It is as obvious an example of attention seeking behavior as you could possibly have, whether he is aware of it or not. |
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" Again, you blame her for her gender disassociation. And again, I will point out that gender disassociation has been accepted by EXPERTS and I personally will take their opinion over bigots who feel the need to keep putting her down.[/quote] I said nothing about the gender issue, let alone anything biggoted. I was referring to his apparent need to keep posting threads like this. It is as obvious an example of attention seeking behavior as you could possibly have, whether he is aware of it or not.[/quote] I am refering to your refusal to stop calling a woman by male pronouns. This shows a pattern that you have displayed on more than one of her threads. I suggest that you stop posting on her threads if you find her gender to be offensive to you. Just stop man. |
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This thread really really would not have happened if that person did not get overboard with me. I actually stayed pretty cool the first time that person made some ridicules of me just because I did something which he took a personal stance against.
However, each time I make some other thread he would bring up that old topic to scorn me once and again as if to signal that he would not stop unless I show to him that I have been defeated and that I cannot stand it. It was roughly a total of five times. I really hope I could refrain from showing unpleasant emotions on the internet because I exactly DO NOT WISH TO APPEAR LIKE A WHINNY ATTENTION SEEKING KID ONLINE. However, since I had welled up so much tears in my eyes that now if I were to let it go it is going to be a complete meltdown. Now he gets what asked for. Just take a moment away from how bad my reactions are over here find out what really happened. |
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" I agree 100% on this. Deadpeng, you need to grow up and stop attention whoring. You can be whatever you want to be, and I don't think anyone honestly cares much one way or the other. But this constant "seeking of reassurance", and attention whoring topics just tells me you're not comfortable with who you are as a person. Where you're mistaken is you think it's somehow everyone's responsibility to give you positive reassurance, on call. That's not how life works, that's not how the internet works. If you're seriously that bothered by comments from people on the internet, then I'd recommend finding something more productive that has less of a risk of shattering your fragile emotional state. If you seriously cut yourself over comments someone made on the internet, then guess what? They won. Because their intention was to make you mad. And topics like this do nothing but "feed the trolls". They're seeking salt, and you're giving it to them by the truckload. And they're gonna keep hitting up whoever delivers the most salt. A lot of people are their own worst enemy when it comes to dealing with internet trolls. Last edited by MrSmiley21 on Apr 8, 2017, 1:03:29 AM
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Can you talk to me in game in private please? I think we a lot to talk and that private space is desired too. That is if you do not mind of course.
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I'll share what triggers me more than anything. It's not dealing with people or anything people say or do. It's little things. Little bullshit things, like waking up in the morning and not being able to find my wallet, keys, cell phone, etc. And it's when things don't go completely flawlessly.
This actually happened about a year ago. I got up, reached to grab my wallet and keys. Not there. Instantly triggered. Like in less than 1/10th of a second. So I sit down at my computer desk, reach over and push the power button on my tower, it doesn't turn on like it's supposed to. I'm so fucking mad I can barely even contain myself, so I punch a door jam as hard as I can punch it, not once, but 5 times. Barely contain myself, meaning I wanted to grab the PC tower and toss it out the window, but I used every iota of self control I had to direct my rage at something less expensive that could take a hit. I broke my hand. Because I couldn't immediately find wallet + keys and my computer didn't immediately turn on when I pushed the button. I had to learn to be super organized, when that's not something that comes natural to me. Last edited by MrSmiley21 on Apr 8, 2017, 1:36:16 AM
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