When I rewatched this old vid I was immediately reminded of I_NO's fave image reply.

^Reminds me, pretty sure Skallagrim was your stereotypical fatass with a katana attacking water bottles, just look at him now.
Oblivious
Last edited by Disrupted on Oct 25, 2016, 5:04:14 PM
"
Disrupted wrote:
^Reminds me, pretty sure Skallagrim was your stereotypical fatass with a katana attacking water bottles, now look at him now.


Yep, he was a complete dork. He has leveled and geared up since then though :)
The Wheel of Nerfs turns, and builds come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the build that gave it birth comes again.
"
Bars wrote:

About asthma and eczema, this sounds like an excuse to me honestly. You aren't actually physically incapable of fencing and if your wife/GF determines what you can or cannot do as a hobby, congratulations: you're whipped. Sounds to me like you would enjoy a HEMA practice tremendously and are unwilling to do it mostly because you're stuck in a rut.


That's all well and good, I've fought a fair amount of battles with self-blame and feel like I'm pretty solid in my identity, so you can judge me as lazy or weak(-willed) or lame as you'd like. I took enough of that at Stanford University to realize that I am always doing the best that I can, and fuck those bastards if they think my "excuses" are keeping me from studying 80 hours a week, or doing 3 internships at once, or inventing the cure for cancer. I'm pretty damn happy now, and that's what matters.

This is getting a little off-topic, but my brother had an insight that will probably sound like utter bullcrap to you. He philosophized - "laziness" is a meaningless concept. The word implies that there is some failure on the part of a person to put adequate effort towards something. But what defines adequate effort? And what is the source of that failure?
----If one is being forced towards something he or she doesn't like, isn't that something else? Resistance or reticence against being a square peg forced into a circular hole? That is not laziness,
that is rebellion.
----If one is striving towards a goal he or she desires - how could that person possibly be putting forth less effort than the best one can offer? By definition, one is chasing towards a desire, which means all conscious effort is focused on achieving that goal. The factors blocking this person from achieving his or her goal are almost by definition not desired by that person. An undesired obstacle.

This goes part and parcel with the stigma against mental illness, which is receding in society at large, for better or for worse (as I suspect you might see it). Video game communities, I've noticed, have a strong tendency of pushback against social justice (raise your hand if you love SJWs! no one? ok, raise your hand if you hate SJWs! wow, i think that's everyone), which means the vast majority here probably deny the physical nature of mental illness. So rather than attribute a failure to achieve one's goals to chemical imbalance in the brain, as modern brain scans would have us believe, video gamers would rather attack the conscious mind - you failed because you're some nebulous concept of "lazy."

My brother's insight is that "lazy" is just a proxy, a placeholder, a makeshift decoy. It is a stand-in for the ultimate causes of failure, whether they be an unfitting goal, or psychological issues that the conscious mind would rather not have as obstacles. You could say the word "lazy" itself is lazy, because it makes no effort to identify what the root cause of issues are, and thus work towards a solution. It's just an empty complaint, akin to "You're bad at this game." "ok, how can I improve?" "lol you're bad. BAD BAD BAD"

------

A little more on-topic, we will see when I finally got off my butt and start exercise / HEMA. There is one additional minor pressure I forgot to mention, which is the financial pressure of buying/renting equipment and/or membership dues for Fencing Club.

Also, not sure if you're curious or not (will this be TMI?), but eczema at its worst gives me zombie skin - you can search google images for "eczema weeping" and you should get a good sense of what it looks like to other people - which makes me literally feel like a foreigner inside my own skin. It feels kind of diseased, wet and dry at the same time, very itchy, burning and stinging, and the "cure" involves inflicting further burning and stinging upon myself.

Instead of being stuck in a rut, I'd say I'm moving forward on my own time schedule. Whether I start exercising again / learning HEMA tomorrow, 1 year from now, 5 years from now, or never, I think I will be content with my life :)

"

IMO you should at the very least give it a try :)


Yeah, application deadlines for this recruiting season are dying down, so I might squeeze in some time in between studying for classes, my PT job, accounting society, and mad intense hardcore gaming sessions in POE and ESO for getting back into shape.
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You're just an internet stranger to me, so I don't care enough to judge you. Besides, I know nothing (ok, now less than nothing - but still) about your circumstances. I meant to give you a little push towards it because it sounded like you would enjoy it and needed just a little extra to give it a try. I also dislike stupid motivational crap like 'impossible is nothing' and all this shit - if you have significant factors in your life which would make HEMA not worth all the hassle, difficulty or whatever it is, that's fine.

Also, there's really no need to validate your life choices to me, I spend 90% of my free time gaming and have been like that since early childhood. I like it just like that, thank you very much.

Last but not least, a quote by Dostoyevsky, whose books I dislike but he does make a few good points, such as:
“To think too much is a disease.”
The Wheel of Nerfs turns, and builds come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the build that gave it birth comes again.
Last edited by Bars on Oct 25, 2016, 2:35:17 PM
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Bars wrote:

Also, there's really no need to validate your life choices to me,


Yeah, you just brought up some unpleasant memories, "triggered" as POE forumers like to say it :P

"

“To think too much is a disease.”


It looks like Dostoevsky and I are at odds! That, or I love to be diseased :>
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"
adghar wrote:
"
Bars wrote:

Also, there's really no need to validate your life choices to me,


Yeah, you just brought up some unpleasant memories, "triggered" as POE forumers like to say it :P


Yeah, noticed :) You're a bit too easy to trigger TBH, I did it unintentionally and acting with good intentions. How have you survived in the internet for so long?! :D

"
adghar wrote:

"
Bars wrote:

“To think too much is a disease.”


It looks like Dostoevsky and I are at odds! That, or I love to be diseased :>


Everything I know about the great artists, writers, scientists, philosophers, chess players and observations on personal acquaintances seem to indicate there's a direct correlation between high intelligence and the chances of being unhappy throughout a significant portion of your life. They should put warning stickers like they do on cigarettes: Warning! Intelligence increases the risk of unhappiness by 50%.

On the other hand, let's look at the people who spend their entire lives training in pursuit of a noble goal, to not think at all: zen monks and some other Buddhist denominations. What's the most noticeable common trait? They all seem to be in perfectly good cheer, calm and content.

And now - to my personal experience. If we go by IQ measurements, I'm well above average. Nothing incredible, but pretty good. I also have a natural proclivity for overthinking. This has caused no amount of unpleasantness in my life. At a certain point and after significant research, I started training myself in the so-called 'mindfulness'. I fucking hate this word but it is what it is. I am extremely pleased with the results. Mindfulness can be described as shutting your internal voice down. No verbalization. I am far from the spiritual or religious type as most people imagine it, but this shit works.

I rest my case.
The Wheel of Nerfs turns, and builds come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the build that gave it birth comes again.
Last edited by Bars on Oct 25, 2016, 3:00:22 PM
Spoiler


I have a new one now :x
Dys an sohm
Rohs an kyn
Sahl djahs afah
Mah morn narr
"
Bars wrote:

Yeah, noticed :) You're a bit too easy to trigger TBH, I did it unintentionally and acting with good intentions. How have you survived in the internet for so long?! :D


Honestly? Either
A: Allowing myself to get trolled. I type pretty fast, so I don't mind wall o' texting people who are like "uh no Recovery is only for Flasks, it's implied"
----- I actually seem to enjoy wall o' texting in general. I blame my father, who was a professor, and apparently passed on the genes for extreme talkativeness to me
B: I mostly hang out in Gameplay Help and Discussion in the threads where facts are more valuable than opinions :)

"
Bars wrote:
And now - to my personal experience. If we go by IQ measurements, I'm well above average. Nothing incredible, but pretty good. I also have a natural proclivity for overthinking. This has caused no amount of unpleasantness in my life. At a certain point and after significant research, I started training myself in the so-called 'mindfulness'. I fucking hate this word but it is what it is. I am extremely pleased with the results. Mindfulness can be described as shutting your internal voice down. No verbalization. I am far from the spiritual or religious type as most people imagine it, but this shit works.


The current trend of "mindfulness" matches my understanding of meditation. I tried meditation for a while, and I can agree it feels really cleansing. Somehow though, I read an article (pretty sure it was a reputable source like New York Times too), that in very minor parts of the population, mindfulness actually increased stress and caused panic attacks. I have no idea how that works, I guess releasing their vise-tight grip on their mind's actions caused their mind to get wrapped up in the stressors in life? Could also be a genetic thing.

In any case, I could never get myself to meditate a lot, it became another one of those "things I should do but I'm not for some reason," but eventually I got to a psychiatrist, and now I'm on 40 mg of a certain SSRI daily, and life has been more or less smooth sailing since then B)
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Last edited by adghar on Oct 25, 2016, 3:25:43 PM
IMO SSRIs are like painkillers - they treat the symptom, not the cause. They also tend to exacerbate the problem with prolonged use. That's entirely my personal opinion and should, of course, be taken with a grain - or a few ounces - of salt. I'm not a qualified professional.
The Wheel of Nerfs turns, and builds come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the build that gave it birth comes again.
"
Bars wrote:
That's entirely my personal opinion and should, of course, be taken with a grain - or a few ounces - of salt. I'm not a qualified professional.

No need to be, you just apply the magic wand rule: "There is no such thing as a magic wand".
Wish the armchair developers would go back to developing armchairs.

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