The Secret Cookbook of a Bachelor Exile

I eat out every meal. <<Super bachelor even though I have a 1 yr old... Looks good! Whats your address? I dont have a kitchen even. Do you do laundry? This place I go to charges 2.75 a pound now:(

Of course, the address is Eternal Empire street 66, Lunaris Temple (basement suite), bring your wife and kids.

Or...you guys could come eat with us.

It's a quiet street where we live.

The people next door used to be noisy, but everything is quiet now.

Come to think of it, the whole street is quieter now since we moved in.



Actually, it's empty.

We are big on meat. Roasted, fried, baked, BBQ'ed, we like it any way.

We have a nice selection of ... umm, body parts, so you can choose which bits you want.


Anyways, feel free to drop in any time.

Our address is: 16 Slaughterhouse Road in East London.

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Rayzabladez wrote:

Or...you guys could come eat with us.

It's a quiet street where we live.

The people next door used to be noisy, but everything is quiet now.

Come to think of it, the whole street is quieter now since we moved in.



Actually, it's empty.

We are big on meat. Roasted, fried, baked, BBQ'ed, we like it any way.

We have a nice selection of ... umm, body parts, so you can choose which bits you want.


Anyways, feel free to drop in any time.

Our address is: 16 Slaughterhouse Road in East London.

Here I thought you'd be on Fleet Street, over the barber's. =^[.]~=

"

raics wrote:

The visitors are no better themselves. Zana is a career girl and that means ‘can’t even fry an egg’

Zana loves to cook, but she isn't going to waste her precious time on a low prospect. Her line about "having an itch" that needs "scratching" isn't a pick-up line. Potential suitors will understand Zana is hinting at a long lost Vaal technology called GPS. Get her talking about this and she might invite you over for some bloodline pudding, or even her signature dish - Ephij in a Blanket - which is simply to die for.

"

raics wrote:

you never know when will something Catarina prepared decide to just get up and seek its fortunes away from your plate.

Catarina's Relifed Beans are OK, but I'd agree that the ghosts in her ghost chili guacamole are a little overpowering.

I made some chicken fried bacon earlier.

What you need:

- You really need a deep fryer. Frying in a pan can be done, but it won't come out as good.
- Bacon, derp derp! Don't use sugar cured bacon.
- Flour
- Corn starch
- Dijon mustard or Yellow Mustard if you want.
- Salt, pepper & some other spice you might like. I like cajun spice. Tony Chacheres.
- A paper bag to put the flour and corn starch in.

Prep:

- Preheat your deep fryer to 375 (high as mine goes).

- Flour to corn starch @ 4:1 ratio.

- Place bacon in a large enough bowl, mix in some Dijon mustard, and take your hands and mix the mustard and the bacon. Put the spices and seasoning on the bacon after its coated with mustard, but before you coat it in flour.

- Place the mustard dipped bacon into the paper bag with flour and corn starch. Shake it like a baby. Depending on the amount, you might have to add a few at a time and do it, or they might stick together with some parts of the bacon not being coated.

- If your deep fryer has a basket, remove it. We won't need it.

- Place the bacon in 1 at a time using tongs. This keeps them from sticking together. Or you can use your hands. Just be sure to record yourself and post it when 375 F oil hits your hands and you squeal like a bitch. KIDS DEFINITELY TRY THIS AT HOME.

- Should take about 2 to 2 1/2 minutes.

- Enjoy the best food in the world. U just rekt Gordon Ramsey!

- I prep fried chicken the same way, except I put a thicker coating on it. Coat it once, then take some spray oil to it, and coat it again.

Not a recipe, but advice. I cook almost everything I eat, and been doing so since highschool. Look, just keep the following things in your house at all times:

Bags of potatos
Bags of onions
Cartons of eggs
Salt, black pepper
Oil (vegetable; olive oil if you want to spend a couple dollars more. It's worth it.)
Sticks of unsalted butter (margarine is cheaper, and for cooking purposes has roughly the same effect.)

Potatos can accompany every goddamn meal, and are super filling and nutritious.

* Cut them into chunks, boil for ten minutes. Drain them (but leave just a splash of the water in). Squish them. Salt n pepper n butter (if you have it). Mashed potatos.
* Cut them into wedges, boil for 5 minutes. Drain and brush (wadded up paper towel) them in some oil, salt, pepper. Bake at 400 til they brown. Tater wedges.
* Run them over a cheese grater. Hot pan with a little butter, olive oil (if you have it), salt, pepper. Turn over once in a while until brown. Hash Browns. (bonus: slice an onion and mix it in before frying. Shit's delicious)
* Wash and oil the skin, salt, pepper. Toss in an oven at 425 for like 45 minutes. Soon as a fork goes through it easily, you got a motherfucking baked potato. OR, toss it in the microwave for 5 minutes on each side. Yes, it works.

Onions? Just slice and fry them in a little oil or butter, with a SMALL pinch of salt. Stir once in a while til they turn brown. Caramelized onions bitch. They make everything you eat better.

Eggs? My god man, just throw them in the general vicinity of something hot. You can't fuck up eggs.

* Boil in the shell for 5-10 minutes, depending on how you like your yolk. 5 Minutes will get you a runny (but tasty) mess, 10 will get you a dry (and sliceable) meal.
* Pat of butter and a couple drops of oil in a pan, crack and drop eggs in. Salt, pepper. Cook until the white is firm enough to slide a spatula under, then turn and cook on the other side for no more than 20 seconds. (unless you're a fucking communist and like your yolk firm, then just cook until that happens). Fried eggs.
* Crack into a bowl, whisk with a fork until it's just a creamy yellow goo. Pat of butter in a hot pan, pour that shit in when hot. "Scrape" the bottom of the pan with a spatula after a few seconds. The rest is self explanatory. Salt, pepper. Eat your scrambled eggs.
* Got instant ramen noodles? While you boil them, crack and drop an egg in there. Break it up in the boiling water. Cook noodles as you normally would. Instantly better.

I could expand on these, but each bullet point is meant to be simple. Doing each of these things will teach you to be a better cook, and being a better cook is probably the biggest quality of life upgrade any young person can have.

Fucking trust me, that shit's important.

Nice one Smiley, fat, fast and rugged, a true Bachelor meal. We can imagine it looks tasty but it could use some 'done, enjoy' pics at least.

And a solid basic ingredient guide from Antnee, fully agree cooking is among the most useful skills you can have.

Linked both on first page.

I make like a ghetto pot roast sometimes. Ghetto meaning I use whatever chunk of beef I can get on sale that looks good. I make it more according to mood and feel, so its hard to give a recipe for it.

But generally:

- 2 lb chunk of beef.
- Stuff some smashed garlic inside of the meat.
- Put a spice rub on it. Usually cajun spice or some sorta herb rub.
- Sear the meat on all sides very well in a skillet. This is really important.
- Place it in a dutch oven (ceramic pot) with a little water, or sometimes I make a gravy to put in it.
- Quarter a couple onions, break them up and place them in with the meat.
- Cook the meat at 325f for 3 1/2 to 4 hours.
- Cut up some potatoes, carrots to put in it. Maybe some celery. Put these in after cooking the meat for 2 hours.
- You can make beef stew with the leftovers.

To add to that, as soon as you are done searing the meat, splash a little water (White wine, but since this is for bachelors...) in the pan to deglaze it, and throw the juice in the dutch oven.

OR add some flour to it slowly, and stir it until it thickens for a kickass gravy.