The Touch of God (Templar origin story)

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Loate wrote:


“God’s path is winding, and only through righteous truth will our feet fall true.”


Nice work! The character relationships are rather intriguing. The one question I have is whether the above quote that the Templar learned was a subtle foreshadowing that the entire Templar order was corrupt, since the quote seems opposite of what it would usually be:

"Strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.''
PoE Origins - Piety's story http://www.pathofexile.com/forum/view-thread/2081910
Last edited by DalaiLama on Aug 23, 2015, 4:45:13 AM
This one is greatly superior to the scion story
Prose should be light and not doubly heavy and dense as to repeat its nature: which you've balanced excellently here
kids https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbFE90QKJIw
vs
adults https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzysxHGZCAU
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 business a-blazing but no more t-shirts
Thanks a lot !!
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FullCust wrote:
This one is greatly superior to the scion story
Prose should be light and not doubly heavy and dense as to repeat its nature: which you've balanced excellently here


One thing to keep in mind is that since I'm writing these in a first person perspective, the word choice and diction reflects quite a bit on the characters themselves (which will hopefully become more clear as I release more of the stories). An Oriathan noble will have had a much different upbringing and education than a starving street urchin. The goal is to have the structure of the story itself also tell a story.

We'll see if I succeed :)
Good work, keep it up.
The best origin story of all. Well done for the masterpiece!

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