Path of Off-Topic (The Game!)

“Attention prisoners! For your crimes against General Discussion, you have been Exiled to the forsaken continent of Off Topic. The moderators of the Forums are merciful and have granted all exiles one weapon.. choose wisely. The Forums have bestowed a gift upon you, a chance to redeem your crimes.. A new life. Do not squander it.

Post straight to Off Topic, stay together, look for others who can help you. You’re not the first exiles, and you won’t be the last.”

Welcome to Path of Off Topic - The Game!

First, please choose your character:

BerMalBerIst1_AKA_GrammerPolise (STR) - A gifted forum warrior, well versed in all forms of verbal combat. Would like to know if you Even Lift Bro?

DirkAustin (INT) - A true believer in the power of magic, in that hopefully some of the idiots in the forum could be magically whisked away somewhere else.

I_No (DEX) - Dodges your verbal barbs like a boss, and is able to quickly return attacks by posting links of the fabled Glyph Mark bow. Speaks of a sister none have ever seen (not sure if important to plot, maybe in Act 4)

CharanJaydemyr (DEX/INT/STR) - A formidable posting ninja, combining traits of logic, reason, and subtle sarcasm with the overwhelming force of 25k+ battles. Looks good in a blue one-piece.

MoonYu (DEX/INT) - Verstaile in both support and solo posting, is armed with barbs as sharp as the tongue of an angry Jewish mother-in-law, but can also bring harmony and love to a fevered situation.

TheWretch (STR/INT) - An unforgiving opponent, quick to find the enemy weakspots and exploit them, often using their ignorance of general knowledge against them. Super effective against trolls.

Solwitch (STR/DEX) - Fuck knows, um... Overwhelms opponents with the power of "WTF"?

Choose your Character!
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ACT 1 - The First Act

You have washed up on the coast of Off-Topic, and must now make your way to the sanctuary that is located at the end of the Twilight Strand. You brush past the casual trolls that infest this land, occassionally remarking about their mothers eating proclivities, or insulting their game knowledge about the inner workings of RNG.

FIRST BOSS ENCOUNTER! Someone has posted something ridiculous, whinging about the lack of Map Drops. You have countered them, but are now faced with the imposing figure of Michael_GGGillock. How do you defeat this foe?

God I am bored.

There are no students on campus, the office is empty, and some bastard has "cleaned" out the fridge and left it sitting open to fill the entire 2nd floor with the stench of rotten food and spoiled milk.

Why can't people just take their food home or throw it out instead of leaving it in the fridge?

I too, am immensely bored out of my skull.

All attempts at convincing my boss to let me work from home have been for naught.

Investigating the suspected presence of a huge monster.

Loud banging noises under the bed in the middle of the night.

Things are going missing.

Cleaning under the bed revealed the kitchen drain strainer and a stick of butter.

The 1x4 hole next to the ill-fitted floor vent seems suspicious.

"

CharanJaydemyr (DEX/INT/STR) - A formidable posting ninja, combining traits of logic, reason, and subtle sarcasm with the overwhelming force of 25k+ battles. Looks good in a blue one-piece.

Silly Charan always doing fun builds.