I've thought about it for a long time now

Welcome to the Void.

You win a wallpaper

I feel pretty much just like you, except worse probably. I live an isolated existence that's been forced on me by political persecution for being a cannabis user. I'm afraid to even talk about my passion for the plant with other people and paranoid every day my life will be thrown into the grip of the state again. It's madness.

The only thing I really care about is music and plants. I don't play any games anymore, they just frustrate me or bore me. Play my guitar like i'm Forrest Gump and I've got an indoor garden with banana, peanuts, melons, blueberries, mangosteen, all kinds of stuff. That's where I get enjoyment, because as far as other people go I don't find any. I lurk this forum but don't bother to post most of the time because what's the point when everyone's refusing to talk about anything substantial.

Conceit interferes with reason, and western society is extremely arrogant and hedonistic. It's a microcosm displayed in it's operation as a whole and in the function of it's individuals. Like it couldn't be sustained without petty criminality, and if I were to even really begin addressing it I'd just be censored and banned by the mods because they think it's a good joke to make everyone live with blinders on or their tongues cut out. What's freedom?

maybe its karma

Why should we go on, why should we do anything, and why shouldn't we just curl up and die?

I think one of the best answers is extremely simple, seemingly silly but also profound:

"Because we can."


Life really is about fulfilling desires in a healthy way. There must be something you want. Want, or even need, is the driving force of conscious life. You can only truly continue living in the now, and the now is the opposite of eternal from a personal viewpoint. So to live and to be eternal is in opposition, and yet free life is eternal from an outside view, even though you will you will only have your moment, one moment out of all infinity.

Without knowing more details, probably earlier on in your life you felt a disconnect from people, maybe you felt misunderstood, and you still haven't faced up to that and embraced life in it's fullness. I mean we all feel that way, but sometimes when we are strong and proud, instead of humbling ourselves we reject others to protect ourselves against rejection, if we never let go of that and keep building on that disconnect rather than letting it go to embrace what life is out there, then we will feel distanced from earthly life. If the body of your life was spent following such disconnects, you have consciously defined yourself against life, and your pride keeps you chained there.

To maintain our illusion that the fault lies not within ourselves, but within the people we distanced ourselves from, we start to reject their values. the values of life on earth. It is an illusion, Exile. Life is what you make it, heaven or hell, it's all right here and only you can free yourself.

Basically, are we gonna let some random guys prevent us from living our life? No, we don't change our direction and move right through them, never let them dictate who you are, which is probably what happened when the original disconnects occurred.

Once we feel one with an identity as not one of the regular life, we start to wonder what our purpose is, because it doesn't make sense. That's because it doesn't make sense, it isn't logic, and somewhere deep inside fear prevents you from facing your logical disconnect.

You cannot remove a part of your life, it has already defined you. You are the sum of your memories, similar to integral mathematics with some decay, and you spend many years building memories, they will reflect a healthy portion of your collective memories even if you move in a different direction in the future. Be that as it is, it isn't always worth changing yourself once you have found an identity, and there is value and beauty in all shapes of life.

To live is to want, there must be something you want. You can stand for something you can fight for a cause, you can live to satisfy your desires, you can live to help others, you can do whatever you want to give you purpose in life. Just remember that life is a collective entity, you must partake in it, you feel purpose through others by being accepted for who you are. It doesn't have to be people, it can be other forms of life, but people can fulfill us in ways that no other beings can, when things are good. The need for recognition is one of our most basic desires, and to suppress it is a dangerous thing.

You can be sure of one thing. While no one will share all your particular interests, beliefs and experiences at the same time, for each of those there will be someone who feels the same. We are all unique, but we are not alone, even if we never meet those who would filfull us. Seek, reach, live. Awaken.

"

arpgfan wrote:

And I can't seem to figure out why I don't care about anything anymore.

I didn't read past that. Its a serious issue mate, you should talk to a health professional about it. You don't have to live that way.

It´s okay Cracky, tldr didn´t read.
Now have a sitdown right next to me.

This ones for you